misscostalot

I had been so good for weeks and I ended up stupidly thinking I could drink normally this weekend. I ended up covered in vomit, lying to my friends about were I had been and worried people that love me. I'm ashamed and realise I may have really injured myself. I need to realise I'm not a normal drinker before it gets too late. Please help.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear that misscostalat. Do you realize now that you aren't a normal drinker? And if not, what will it take to get you to accept that?

Id' also ask - what is it that you were doing during those weeks that you were not drinking to help reinforce your sobriety? Have you ever followed a formal recovery plan or worked with a recovery group of any kind?

misscostalot

I realise that Iwas with friends that don't drink alcohol. I have never followed a formal plan like AA or anything like that. I work when the AA meetings are in my city. What helped you? I know im not a normal drinker. I hate admitting it and feel ashamed. Thank you.

Anna

There is information about various recovery programs in the link that follows, as well as lots of tips from our members:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

ScottFromWI

I have used a wide variety of tools over time, and I cannot say that any specific one was the "magic bullet". Having said that, the first and most important thing was accepting that I am not a normal drinker, and that drinking even one sip of alchol is never going to be an option for me. It is not something to be ashamed of, we are simply different - and that's OK because everyone is different.

As far as recovery programs, I am not a regular attendee of AA or other recovery groups, but I did go to AA and and some Smart recovery meetings early on. I do still read the AA Big Book too as it contains a lot of great stories and information.

I also use SR on a daily basis to not only remind myself why I don't drink, but to also help other people. We can all help each other and that's a cornerstone of being sober I think

I also had some issues with anxiety so I've worked with a counselor over the years to learn tools to deal with that as well. Very likely my anxiety was one of the reasons I kept drinking, so I needed to address it as a separate and distinct problem. I've used counseling, meditation, mindfulness, and even adjusting my diet and exercise.

You'll find a lot of other great info about what others have done on the link Anna shared too.

Forward12

Drinking will lead to misery, every time. I agree with finding a recovery plan, be it AA, an addiction therapist, whatever it takes.

Berrybean

MissCostalot. Over 3.5 years ago you posted this...

Ever since my boyfriend of 11 years broke up with me in November I have returned to binge drinking with disastrous consequences. Not only have I been hospitalised due to a head injury, but have also managed to humiliated myself by throwing myself at people in a drunken stupor. I do not want to be this person anymore. I feel so empty and betrayed (it has not been an amicable break up) and although I know that alcohol is not the answer, it seems like I am surrounded by it everywhere. I don’t know where to turn as I feel like I have just got no fight left in me.

Maybe it's time to accept that nothing will change unless you make some changes. There will be no easy or comfortable time to do this. I'm not sure whether the city you have on your profile is where you are actually living now - if so, then please have another look at the AA schedule. There are meetings at 7am, midday and various evening options. When we really decide enough is enough and get willing to make those changes, then we make sure we get to where there is help available. If you don't want to go the AA route then fair enough, but then at least look at making a sobriety plan of your own. Dee has a great thread... https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

This problem hasnt gone away by itself yet, and it never will. It is only us who can make sobriety work and stick and be worthwhile. Admitting our alcoholism isnt the thing that makes it so. And denial of it actually strengthens it hold over us strangely enough.

I hope you choose acceptance, willingness and action over denial and repeating the same old pain indefinitely.

Wishing you all the best.

BB

misscostalot

This really hit home with me. . . so thank you so much!!! You are right, I am in the exact SAME position as 3.5 years ago!! Consequently, I have made a plan. . . bought a folder and everything!! It's only been 9 days so far but I haveplanned to keep busy at work and on weekends go walking/volunteer. I am nervous about going home at Christmas but I think i will just tell family and friends that I can't drink at the moment. . .
Thanks again.

Gottalife

Your post at the start of this thread was a really good example of what it means to be an alcoholic. What happened to you happened to me and it kept happening, despite my best efforts, until I got proper treatment for my alcholism. Like any other serious illness, left untreated, it will always get worse. And unfortunately, doing more of what didn't work last time is not a solution either.

I came to realise I had a life threatening condition, which turned out to be terminal to many people I have known. It is a serious illness. When members of my family have suffered and even died from other serious illnesses, we discovered that the hospital and treatment procedure schedule was not something we could adjust for our own convenience. Mostly, treatment and procedures were during the day and during the business week. We wanted the treatment, we met every appointment, went to every location, followed every direction regardless of the inconvenience. That is what you do when you are seriously ill.

Strange how the alcholic doesn't act that way, instead hoping to find an easier solution. I hope your plan has some more sunstantial elements.

SoulShine8

misscostalot

Read my signature. I'm on the verge of losing everything right now but I'm doing what I can not to and not drinking. every.single.day.
I have only hope for you. I wish for you to have it for yourself too.

FreeOwl

Been there a number of times.

Help? We're here to help.

Here's the first thing you need to do;

CHOOSE SOBRIETY

While you're wiping off your vomit and trying to shake off your shame, CHOOSE FIRMLY AND SINCERELY that what you want is a life of sobriety, of abundance, of richness and gratitude and joy and that you'll do whatever it takes to get that.

Then....

TAKE ACTION in support of that choice.

Whether it's AA, a counselor, rehab, this forum every day, new activities, ditching bad influences, quitting a job, getting out of an unhealthy relationship, whatever the things are that NEED TO CHANGE - take ACTION to change them.

We're here to help, we will support you, we will cheer for you, we will laugh and cry and commiserate with you.

But nobody can do it FOR you.

You never, ever have to feel like this again.....

It's up to you.

hpdw

Hi , for some we need to find out the hard way which was the case with me .
Every time I thought I could drink normally I failed , not just sometimes but every single time even after 2 years sober.Now I accept that I am not a normal drinker and able to live my life free of alcohol . life still has it,s ups and downs but is much easier without alcohol.
I wish you well and hope this is the time of your realization that you can never drink .

misscostalot

Thank you everyone. I am at day 9 without drinking alcohol and although it's just a short time, I already feel better. It's hard but I have decided to distance myself from my 'drinking' friends. No good will ever come of hanging around with them as it makes me feel like I can drink to excess and it is 'normal.' I have decided that AA is not the way which I wish to go but I recently read Jason Vale's book and so far, I have no desire to drink at all. I really hope this continues.

SimplyFree

I’m glad you have reaffirmed your commitment to sobriety. And you’ve strengthened your plan. One is never enough, I can’t drink normal, I will be ashamed of myself in the morning. All these are accepted truths for me. Sobriety was easier once I accepted the obvious. I’m glad you are here.

misscostalot

Thank you for your kind words. I really can't drink in moderation. . .it's been so obvious for years. Sometimes I can have a 'few but will always want more.

Stronger2017

I’m the same way misscostalot. It’s hard but I have to be honest with my myself and accept I just cannot drink. Good job on 9 days.

Dee74

Congrats on day 9 misscostalot - glad you're feeling better

I still recommend a recovery action plan tho as Berrybean suggested - simply hoping that you'll always have the resolve you have now can be a little risky.

D

misscostalot

Hi Dee,

Thanks for your congrats - early days I know. I have created a sobriety tool box as suggested on a related thread on here and have started exercising and voluntary work. Does this constitute a 'plan' or is there something else you would recommend? Of course I am on here most days and I am also looking at other sites such as 'soberistas' which is based in the UK. Any suggestions are most welcome.

SportsFan15

A sobriety tool box, exercising, and volunteering are great. Although I understand AA is not for everyone (and you mentioned it's not something you want to do right now), it was a turning point for me. People have been encouraging me to go for around 3 years and I started 4 weeks ago and I never miss a Saturday meeting! I can't describe what it's like to know there's a room full of real live (not just online) people who understand! Something to keep in mind if you're ever interested.


I messed up many many times before I got to this point in sobriety! Keep your head up and keep working your plan! Hugs!

misscostalot

Thanks for your encouragement! AA is not something I would rule out completely. . . I have looked at when there are meetings in my city. A weekend meeting would be ideal as I don' need to worry about running to work! It would also be nice to meet 'real' people.
I am glad to hear that it is working well for you. Keep up the good work and I wish you all the best in your recovery.