Hi! My name is Kevin and I am an alcoholic..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 20
Hi! My name is Kevin and I am an alcoholic..
Hi all.. so happy to have found this group. I have been reading through the many threads here on the forum and have found so much inspiration.
If you do not mind, I would like to share my story.
I started drinking back in 2009. It all started so very slow. Light drinks here and there, and only on special occasions. It slowly progressed to a drink in the evenings. From there, it simply rocketed to where it ended on Friday, November 3rd, 2017.
At that time, I was up to 375-750 ML of vodka daily. Stayed in the 375 ML range during the week and splurged on the weekends.
Let's move to Friday, November 3rd, 2017. Friends and I were here at our house having a few shots and I was feeling pretty good. I thought we had ran out of vodka and made the STUPID decision to hop into the ole truck and going to the corner liquor store. It was very close to midnight and I knew they were about to close.
I got there too late, they turned out the lights as I pulled in. DANGIT!!! I thought... Well, back to the house it was...
NOT!!!!!!!!
Little did I know that a very polite police officer had seen me do that quick turn around in the parking lot and decided to check me out. I cannot begin to tell you the anxiety and fear that infiltrated my system when those blue lights popped up in my rear view mirror.
The officer asked all of the questions that you think he would. I had to do all of the physical tests. I blew above the legal limit and he had no choice but to cuff me and haul me off to jail. Mind you , this was just after midnight on Saturday, November 4th, 2017.
I spent the next 16 hours (mandatory 16 hours) in detox. I knew I had someone to come bail me out. After the time was up, the guards came and got me. However, they did not take me to where I was to get bailed out.. They took me to intake and formally booked me and placed me into a cell with 9 extremely scary people.. I sat there, in a complete terror, for almost an hour. Seemed damn near like 20! I can honestly tell you that this 47 year old fella has NEVER been so scared in all of my life. THAT is not an experience I would EVER want to do over!
I was finally released and ran into my partner and sisters arms. When we go home, there were others awaiting my arrival. Needless to say, I went through an intervention that night.
Deep down, I knew I was ready for a change. I knew that if I did not change, then there would be hell to pay... I would assuredly lose everyone and everything close to me.
I took their advise and I chose to move forward into a life of recovery. A life without alcohol. I was beyond disappointed with myself. You see, I was in Emergency Medical Services for over 10 years. I ran calls where people died because of the stupid choice that I had made.
I got lucky...... I got arrested! I did NOT kill or injure anyone or myself that night... I personally thanked the officer and shook his hand. Kinda took him back when I did. He likely saved a life that night. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that happened to keep me and someone else safe, I truly feel that!
It has only been a few short days since then, but I threw out everything I had and everything I could find. We turned this house upside down and she is clean as a whistle now!
Have not even remotely thought about wanting a shot of vodka since that experience. I know what is important and my life and my family are my number ones!
I have read many of other members experiences and kinda feel guilty as my experience has not been that difficult. I truly put it down and walked away. No cravings have been had. Had a few high BP readings, but that has all normalized now. I did schedule my first AA meeting and will be hitting that later this week. I know this is something I have to do, as I cannot do this all by myself.
It has only been 10 days thus far. But, I feel amazing! The anxiety has left. BP is 120/78. No cravings. No AV, as I read from so many posts. I did have some issues sleeping, but that is getting better each night.
I do have to admit that I feel guilty, as my experience is vastly different from many of those that I have read here. I consider myself fortunate that I have family and friends that support me and that makes all the difference in the world to me.
I just wanted to share my story with you and connect to this amazing community of people.
If you do not mind, I would like to share my story.
I started drinking back in 2009. It all started so very slow. Light drinks here and there, and only on special occasions. It slowly progressed to a drink in the evenings. From there, it simply rocketed to where it ended on Friday, November 3rd, 2017.
At that time, I was up to 375-750 ML of vodka daily. Stayed in the 375 ML range during the week and splurged on the weekends.
Let's move to Friday, November 3rd, 2017. Friends and I were here at our house having a few shots and I was feeling pretty good. I thought we had ran out of vodka and made the STUPID decision to hop into the ole truck and going to the corner liquor store. It was very close to midnight and I knew they were about to close.
I got there too late, they turned out the lights as I pulled in. DANGIT!!! I thought... Well, back to the house it was...
NOT!!!!!!!!
Little did I know that a very polite police officer had seen me do that quick turn around in the parking lot and decided to check me out. I cannot begin to tell you the anxiety and fear that infiltrated my system when those blue lights popped up in my rear view mirror.
The officer asked all of the questions that you think he would. I had to do all of the physical tests. I blew above the legal limit and he had no choice but to cuff me and haul me off to jail. Mind you , this was just after midnight on Saturday, November 4th, 2017.
I spent the next 16 hours (mandatory 16 hours) in detox. I knew I had someone to come bail me out. After the time was up, the guards came and got me. However, they did not take me to where I was to get bailed out.. They took me to intake and formally booked me and placed me into a cell with 9 extremely scary people.. I sat there, in a complete terror, for almost an hour. Seemed damn near like 20! I can honestly tell you that this 47 year old fella has NEVER been so scared in all of my life. THAT is not an experience I would EVER want to do over!
I was finally released and ran into my partner and sisters arms. When we go home, there were others awaiting my arrival. Needless to say, I went through an intervention that night.
Deep down, I knew I was ready for a change. I knew that if I did not change, then there would be hell to pay... I would assuredly lose everyone and everything close to me.
I took their advise and I chose to move forward into a life of recovery. A life without alcohol. I was beyond disappointed with myself. You see, I was in Emergency Medical Services for over 10 years. I ran calls where people died because of the stupid choice that I had made.
I got lucky...... I got arrested! I did NOT kill or injure anyone or myself that night... I personally thanked the officer and shook his hand. Kinda took him back when I did. He likely saved a life that night. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that happened to keep me and someone else safe, I truly feel that!
It has only been a few short days since then, but I threw out everything I had and everything I could find. We turned this house upside down and she is clean as a whistle now!
Have not even remotely thought about wanting a shot of vodka since that experience. I know what is important and my life and my family are my number ones!
I have read many of other members experiences and kinda feel guilty as my experience has not been that difficult. I truly put it down and walked away. No cravings have been had. Had a few high BP readings, but that has all normalized now. I did schedule my first AA meeting and will be hitting that later this week. I know this is something I have to do, as I cannot do this all by myself.
It has only been 10 days thus far. But, I feel amazing! The anxiety has left. BP is 120/78. No cravings. No AV, as I read from so many posts. I did have some issues sleeping, but that is getting better each night.
I do have to admit that I feel guilty, as my experience is vastly different from many of those that I have read here. I consider myself fortunate that I have family and friends that support me and that makes all the difference in the world to me.
I just wanted to share my story with you and connect to this amazing community of people.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Welcome Kevin! And thank you for sharing your story.
Guilt, we all feel it one way or another, but please don't feel guilty with how you are handling your journey. You sharing your story is inspiration for those struggling! That's one of many reasons why this place is so great, and pivotal in my sobriety.
I got my OWI in 2014 while racing a car on the interstate. I was going 96 mph when I was clocked by the officer. At the time I was a correctional officer in a State Prison, and my job was working with some individuals who did take someone else's life doing the exact thing I had been doing. Was it an eye-opener for me? Briefly.
I started binge drinking and carelessly driving again as I pleased. I was fortunate to not ever hurt myself or anybody else.
It took me another three years and a lot of pushed down feelings of GUILT to finally make the necessary steps.
We all have our journey, and our story, for being here. And all of our stories continue to evolve every day. We share them to help each other.
Welcome aboard Kevin.
Guilt, we all feel it one way or another, but please don't feel guilty with how you are handling your journey. You sharing your story is inspiration for those struggling! That's one of many reasons why this place is so great, and pivotal in my sobriety.
I got my OWI in 2014 while racing a car on the interstate. I was going 96 mph when I was clocked by the officer. At the time I was a correctional officer in a State Prison, and my job was working with some individuals who did take someone else's life doing the exact thing I had been doing. Was it an eye-opener for me? Briefly.
I started binge drinking and carelessly driving again as I pleased. I was fortunate to not ever hurt myself or anybody else.
It took me another three years and a lot of pushed down feelings of GUILT to finally make the necessary steps.
We all have our journey, and our story, for being here. And all of our stories continue to evolve every day. We share them to help each other.
Welcome aboard Kevin.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Welcome to SR, Kevin; you have come to a very supportive, supportive and encouraging place.
Well done on sharing your story and amassing 10 sober days.
The sober life is so rewarding. You will never regret your decision to live one.
Well done on sharing your story and amassing 10 sober days.
The sober life is so rewarding. You will never regret your decision to live one.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Welcome!!!
I am happy that you made this decision and it sounds like you have a great support system!
We are here for ya!
Even in the future if things get rocky. Hopefully not and it is smooth sailing
Best wishes
I am happy that you made this decision and it sounds like you have a great support system!
We are here for ya!
Even in the future if things get rocky. Hopefully not and it is smooth sailing
Best wishes
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 26
Good day Kevin, Let me say I have 2-dui's ( one convicted for, and another pending ). The 2nd one was a result of prescription medication. After my first dui, I echoed the same sentiments as you. Did that change me? It did for a brief moment - but like all things habitual - us humans beings get comfortable! I started getting my old comfort zone back and guess what; was back to the bottle of liquor and chugs of beers and boy oh boy how insignificant that dui became while I was toasted up! This went on until I racked up a few motions to revoke my probation and went to jail on the 2nd dui till I made bail! Alcoholism and drug addiction are real and I suffer daily, but it is all making me a stronger, better person and I'm glad things happened the way they did. This is my 2nd chance at life and you sir seem to honestly be set on not returning to your old ways. All it takes is one drink, one pill, one relapse and bam the vicious cycle starts again. Be determined and please do not get a 2nd one like I did! Both dui's together are costing me in excess of $20,000+ give or take. Very expensive mistake indeed.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Welcome Kevin and well done on your 10 days! No need to feel guilty. I have read that there are quite a few people who do simply say "I'm done" and put the bottle down. You do sound very committed and that's great. Of course there is a lot of support and reading material here on SR should you find that things start to get rough (I hope they don't - just saying).
I like, by the way, the title of your thread. Labelling myself an alcoholic isn't something I ever had a problem with. It just happens to be what I am (or became).
Whatever path of recovery you choose you are definitely off to a strong start and the great news is you never have to drink again! Hurrah!
Take care and keep posting. It really does help xx
I like, by the way, the title of your thread. Labelling myself an alcoholic isn't something I ever had a problem with. It just happens to be what I am (or became).
Whatever path of recovery you choose you are definitely off to a strong start and the great news is you never have to drink again! Hurrah!
Take care and keep posting. It really does help xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 20
A huge "Thank You" to all of you that have responded with such positive thoughts. I am in my baby steps at the moment and so thankful to have found this wonderful group of people. I know just how much I could have (and almost) lost due to this. My family is my life and I made it hell at times on them. This instance has truly become my "turning point" in life. I truly feel that officer was placed there to make me see that truth and FINALLY face reality. I was given a second chance indeed. I plan on spending a lot of time reading and researching here as I mover forward into sobriety.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
We're so glad to have you here, Kevin. I think being with us will help add to your resolve. We all understand, like others can't. This is the best place ever for encouragement. Congratulations on your positive and optimistic attitude and new, sober life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 20
Just a quick update.. Still 100% SOBER!!!! All o my legal stuff has all been sorted out and all of my requirements by the court have been met. I AM SOBER!! No cravings and no desire to drink.
Most important, I still have my loving family and we are closer than we have been in YEARS..
But, I am still just starting my journey and I shall continue down the right path day by day!!!!
Most important, I still have my loving family and we are closer than we have been in YEARS..
But, I am still just starting my journey and I shall continue down the right path day by day!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 20
Just a quick update.. Still 100% SOBER!!!!
465 DAYS AND COUNTING!!!!!
I AM SOBER!! No cravings and no desire to drink.
Most important, I still have my loving family and we are closer than we have been in YEARS..
But, I am still just starting my journey and I shall continue down the right path day by day!!!!
465 DAYS AND COUNTING!!!!!
I AM SOBER!! No cravings and no desire to drink.
Most important, I still have my loving family and we are closer than we have been in YEARS..
But, I am still just starting my journey and I shall continue down the right path day by day!!!!
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