Lasting plan
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Lasting plan
Hey guys,
I really need to put together a lasting plan at staying sober. Iv never tried aa as Im to scared to go in. I fear people won't think my problem is big enough to be there, I'm a heavy binge drinker and I don't drink everyday but I know I have a problem with alcohol. Weekends are the hardest and it's coming up to the festive period I know it's going to be a struggle. I really want to be prepared this time as the last few times iv ended up back at square one. Any advice welcome thanks.
I really need to put together a lasting plan at staying sober. Iv never tried aa as Im to scared to go in. I fear people won't think my problem is big enough to be there, I'm a heavy binge drinker and I don't drink everyday but I know I have a problem with alcohol. Weekends are the hardest and it's coming up to the festive period I know it's going to be a struggle. I really want to be prepared this time as the last few times iv ended up back at square one. Any advice welcome thanks.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,446
Making a plan is very important and I know it will help you. It's important to not worry about what others think about your addiction. We are not all the same or at the same place in recovery. You believe you need help and that's all that matters. 
A list of recovery programs and tips follows:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
A list of recovery programs and tips follows:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Well, you've already mostly done step one by admitting you have a problem with alcohol. Are you powerless over it?
Please don't be afraid of AA, the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking.
It doesn't' matter whether you drink a six pack a week or twenty drinks a day.
No one is going to question your need to be there, and I think you may enjoy a meeting and come away with something useful to your recovery.
There's no need to struggle alone. This place is very helpful, but a room full of problem drinkers is a very powerful thing.
It took me hitting bottom, once again, to finally go to a meeting. It was one of the best things I've ever done.
Go. You don't have to say anything and all you have to lose is a bad cup of coffee.
Please don't be afraid of AA, the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking.
It doesn't' matter whether you drink a six pack a week or twenty drinks a day.
No one is going to question your need to be there, and I think you may enjoy a meeting and come away with something useful to your recovery.
There's no need to struggle alone. This place is very helpful, but a room full of problem drinkers is a very powerful thing.
It took me hitting bottom, once again, to finally go to a meeting. It was one of the best things I've ever done.
Go. You don't have to say anything and all you have to lose is a bad cup of coffee.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Originally Posted by Anna 
Making a plan is very important and I know it will help you. It's important to not worry about what others think about your addiction. We are not all the same or at the same place in recovery. You believe you need help and that's all that matters. A list of recovery programs and tips follows:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
A list of recovery programs and tips follows:http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Originally Posted by Ghostlight1
Well, you've already mostly done step one by admitting you have a problem with alcohol. Are you powerless over it?
Please don't be afraid of AA, the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking.
It doesn't' matter whether you drink a six pack a week or twenty drinks a day.
No one is going to question your need to be there, and I think you may enjoy a meeting and come away with something useful to your recovery.
There's no need to struggle alone. This place is very helpful, but a room full of problem drinkers is a very powerful thing.
It took me hitting bottom, once again, to finally go to a meeting. It was one of the best things I've ever done.
Go. You don't have to say anything and all you have to lose is a bad cup of coffee.
Please don't be afraid of AA, the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking.
It doesn't' matter whether you drink a six pack a week or twenty drinks a day.
No one is going to question your need to be there, and I think you may enjoy a meeting and come away with something useful to your recovery.
There's no need to struggle alone. This place is very helpful, but a room full of problem drinkers is a very powerful thing.
It took me hitting bottom, once again, to finally go to a meeting. It was one of the best things I've ever done.
Go. You don't have to say anything and all you have to lose is a bad cup of coffee.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
AA isnt about how much and how often we drink. its about what happens when we drink and the thinking under it all.
although i didnt end up living on the streets or repeated visits to rehab, my thinking was exactly life those that did.
heres the prelude to the second set of stories from the BB,which id suggest ya read to learn about the program:
They Stopped In Time
Among today"s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen AAers and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________
why not go to a few meetings?maybe go for a month?go to more than 1? read the first 164 pages of the BB to learn what its all about?
then decide if its for you?
its been workin pretty good for me since '05. not only has it helped me stop drinking, it helped me clear away a crapton of wreckage i created AND cleared up my head. pretty good life here today- free of alcohol and mental mayhem.
although i didnt end up living on the streets or repeated visits to rehab, my thinking was exactly life those that did.
heres the prelude to the second set of stories from the BB,which id suggest ya read to learn about the program:
They Stopped In Time
Among today"s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen AAers and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________
why not go to a few meetings?maybe go for a month?go to more than 1? read the first 164 pages of the BB to learn what its all about?
then decide if its for you?
its been workin pretty good for me since '05. not only has it helped me stop drinking, it helped me clear away a crapton of wreckage i created AND cleared up my head. pretty good life here today- free of alcohol and mental mayhem.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Originally Posted by tomsteve
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen AAers and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________
why not go to a few meetings?maybe go for a month?go to more than 1? read the first 164 pages of the BB to learn what its all about?
then decide if its for you?
its been workin pretty good for me since '05. not only has it helped me stop drinking, it helped me clear away a crapton of wreckage i created AND cleared up my head. pretty good life here today- free of alcohol and mental mayhem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I think going to a meeting makes it real and that I'm fully admitting I have a problem and that's what scares me.
but ya know whats great?
there IS a solution!
admitting theres a problem is always the way solutions are found.
i can drive my car with bad wipers, but continueing to rationalize i can still see. i can get out of denial and realize its quite difficult to see and replace the wipers
or
end up in an accident injuring myself and/or others
i wasnt always a blackout drinker. there was a time LONG before i got sober that i didnt drink that often, but when i did, i got extremely drunk.
but with alcoholism being progressive, it got worse- both the drinking AND my thinking.drinking became daily and blackouts a few times a week. as it progressed, i had more fears and insecurities and my self esteem got worse. quite a few other character defects,too.
but ya know whats great?
there IS a solution!
admitting theres a problem is always the way solutions are found.
i can drive my car with bad wipers, but continueing to rationalize i can still see. i can get out of denial and realize its quite difficult to see and replace the wipers
or
end up in an accident injuring myself and/or others
i wasnt always a blackout drinker. there was a time LONG before i got sober that i didnt drink that often, but when i did, i got extremely drunk.
but with alcoholism being progressive, it got worse- both the drinking AND my thinking.drinking became daily and blackouts a few times a week. as it progressed, i had more fears and insecurities and my self esteem got worse. quite a few other character defects,too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Originally Posted by tomsteve
I think going to a meeting makes it real and that I'm fully admitting I have a problem and that's what scares me.
but ya know whats great?
there IS a solution!
admitting theres a problem is always the way solutions are found.
i can drive my car with bad wipers, but continueing to rationalize i can still see. i can get out of denial and realize its quite difficult to see and replace the wipers
or
end up in an accident injuring myself and/or others
i wasnt always a blackout drinker. there was a time LONG before i got sober that i didnt drink that often, but when i did, i got extremely drunk.
but with alcoholism being progressive, it got worse- both the drinking AND my thinking.drinking became daily and blackouts a few times a week. as it progressed, i had more fears and insecurities and my self esteem got worse. quite a few other character defects,too.
but ya know whats great?
there IS a solution!
admitting theres a problem is always the way solutions are found.
i can drive my car with bad wipers, but continueing to rationalize i can still see. i can get out of denial and realize its quite difficult to see and replace the wipers
or
end up in an accident injuring myself and/or others
i wasnt always a blackout drinker. there was a time LONG before i got sober that i didnt drink that often, but when i did, i got extremely drunk.
but with alcoholism being progressive, it got worse- both the drinking AND my thinking.drinking became daily and blackouts a few times a week. as it progressed, i had more fears and insecurities and my self esteem got worse. quite a few other character defects,too.
I looked up meetings in my area and there is one on Saturday for a young crowd that I wanted to try last time. I think I will definitely take it on this time. I can't handle the thought of this continuing so I need to set up safety nets and start dealing with this head on. Thanks
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are sharing, LPG!
Since we are mainly talking about AA here, I will chime in as another AAer. I went kicking and screaming after years of ridiculous "reasons not to" and basically, just wanting to drink. It was finally AA or nothing (no rehab or fancy such paid for by my parents bc I certainly didn't have the money for it at the end). My mind was so alcoholically focused and saturated that I sat there mad, sad, and even furious at the Serenity Prayer! Seriously, how messed up is that.
Glad you found a meeting that appeals to you - let us know how it goes.
Getting in the room and staying is the key to getting started- I did about 82 in 90 (you often here the recommendation to do 90 mtgs in 90 days) and I finally began to be able to sit through a whole meeting and began listening for similarities not differences that I have with others.
I hope you start on a plan - perhaps AA or perhaps something else that is an ACTION plan to get you from a place of alcoholic thinking and living to a much better place and clearer mind on this side.
Since we are mainly talking about AA here, I will chime in as another AAer. I went kicking and screaming after years of ridiculous "reasons not to" and basically, just wanting to drink. It was finally AA or nothing (no rehab or fancy such paid for by my parents bc I certainly didn't have the money for it at the end). My mind was so alcoholically focused and saturated that I sat there mad, sad, and even furious at the Serenity Prayer! Seriously, how messed up is that.
Glad you found a meeting that appeals to you - let us know how it goes.
Getting in the room and staying is the key to getting started- I did about 82 in 90 (you often here the recommendation to do 90 mtgs in 90 days) and I finally began to be able to sit through a whole meeting and began listening for similarities not differences that I have with others.
I hope you start on a plan - perhaps AA or perhaps something else that is an ACTION plan to get you from a place of alcoholic thinking and living to a much better place and clearer mind on this side.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Originally Posted by August252015
Glad you are sharing, LPG!
Since we are mainly talking about AA here, I will chime in as another AAer. I went kicking and screaming after years of ridiculous "reasons not to" and basically, just wanting to drink. It was finally AA or nothing (no rehab or fancy such paid for by my parents bc I certainly didn't have the money for it at the end). My mind was so alcoholically focused and saturated that I sat there mad, sad, and even furious at the Serenity Prayer! Seriously, how messed up is that.
Glad you found a meeting that appeals to you - let us know how it goes.
Getting in the room and staying is the key to getting started- I did about 82 in 90 (you often here the recommendation to do 90 mtgs in 90 days) and I finally began to be able to sit through a whole meeting and began listening for similarities not differences that I have with others.
I hope you start on a plan - perhaps AA or perhaps something else that is an ACTION plan to get you from a place of alcoholic thinking and living to a much better place and clearer mind on this side.
Since we are mainly talking about AA here, I will chime in as another AAer. I went kicking and screaming after years of ridiculous "reasons not to" and basically, just wanting to drink. It was finally AA or nothing (no rehab or fancy such paid for by my parents bc I certainly didn't have the money for it at the end). My mind was so alcoholically focused and saturated that I sat there mad, sad, and even furious at the Serenity Prayer! Seriously, how messed up is that.
Glad you found a meeting that appeals to you - let us know how it goes.
Getting in the room and staying is the key to getting started- I did about 82 in 90 (you often here the recommendation to do 90 mtgs in 90 days) and I finally began to be able to sit through a whole meeting and began listening for similarities not differences that I have with others.
I hope you start on a plan - perhaps AA or perhaps something else that is an ACTION plan to get you from a place of alcoholic thinking and living to a much better place and clearer mind on this side.
Thanks for ur reply
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
I have to add that once I stopped drinking entirely that shame and guilt went away. It is wonderful feeling. I am actually proud of myself instead. Giving up alcohol is not the loss I thought it would be, I gained! Good luck to you
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Originally Posted by HTown
I have to add that once I stopped drinking entirely that shame and guilt went away. It is wonderful feeling. I am actually proud of myself instead. Giving up alcohol is not the loss I thought it would be, I gained! Good luck to you
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
yup,fear of the unknown was extreme for me. not so much of what would happen in the meetings, but what my life without alcohol would be like.
something that tremendously helped get through the doors of my first meeting,and many more, was fear of the known- what my life WITH alcohol still in it would be like.
i also had fear of the process. i was used to knowing what to expect pretty much daily when i was drinking-i had quite a few years of experience to pretty much tell me what would happen daily and no experience of days without alcohol.
that fear of the known plus lots of courage helped me to keep putting in the footwork. a man told me something one day early on:
"how can stopping drinking and working at changing you for the better be worse than your best day drunk?"
HUH!
something that tremendously helped get through the doors of my first meeting,and many more, was fear of the known- what my life WITH alcohol still in it would be like.
i also had fear of the process. i was used to knowing what to expect pretty much daily when i was drinking-i had quite a few years of experience to pretty much tell me what would happen daily and no experience of days without alcohol.
that fear of the known plus lots of courage helped me to keep putting in the footwork. a man told me something one day early on:
"how can stopping drinking and working at changing you for the better be worse than your best day drunk?"
HUH!
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