SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

The last drink of my life was on October 1, 2016. I drank nearly nonstop for over four decades up until then. I'm doing so much better, life is ridiculously better, but I still struggle.

The good news is, I was married on November 4th! We had a wonderful ceremony at a local nature center. We were anxious about it, but the weather held out. There are four yurts---sort of tent cabins---that we rented out, and some of us camped out that evening.

I invited some out of town old friends. I love these people, especially the kids and the Mom. The father, too, but not quite as much. I've made it common knowledge that I have stopped drinking, but the guy brought along a half-gallon of Jim Beam and placed it prominently upon a picnic table.

My brand, too.

I didn't appreciate it, but I wasn't going to say anything. I'm never going to be that guy. You know, the one who puts restrictions upon others because he quit drinking, or who feels that everyone else needs to stop because he did.

That said, it was pretty rude. They don't understand, do they? The struggle we go through every day. The temptations on every single street corner, nearly every social occasion. We know better than to relapse, but our addictions can be pretty persuasive, can't they?

I wanted to hit that bottle. Bad. Can't I even have a drink on my wedding night?, I whined to myself. I've been so good, and I've proven that I can control it.

No, I didn't do it. It wasn't easy, but I didn't.

A week later was our honeymoon. We traveled to a beach community I hadn't been to since around 1991. Me and friends used to party there a lot. It's a wonderful area, with breathtaking beaches and a warm, small town feel to it.

I didn't realize how hard it was going to be. We went to a little fishing pier I liked to hang out at. Pool tables, arcade machines, pinball, snacks, and of course, beer.

We played pinball for an hour or so, and went on.

We enjoyed local seafood at a few places, and talked to various locals and tourists. This town is alcohol, alcohol, alcohol. I had never been there sober before. When people heard we were newlyweds, they invariably tried to buy us drinks. It seemed like my new wife and I were the only people in town who were not imbibing. That isn't true, of course, but it felt that way.

I had a wonderful time, but the desire to drink nagged me. I guess it never really goes away? We might go days, weeks, months, even years without wishing for a drink, but the old addiction is still there, deep down, ready to emerge. Or maybe some do beat it and never feel an urge. I hope to get there someday.

In the meantime, my resolve is stronger than ever.