Alexloaiza

i relapse this saturday after being almost a year clean. I told my gf since i stopped keeping secrets with her. She said she told me when i started my recovery that she wont accept this again. It was my mistake and i feel really bad about it, she says she doesnt know if she will break up with me. I am new to sober recovery and will like help on this, i just dont want to go back to drugs if somethings happens and i feel terrible about relapsing.

Maudcat

Hi, Alex.
Welcome.
Sorry about the relapse.
But..you have shown that you can stay clean, so do it again.
What led to the relapse?

Starsabove32

Hi

I think you must try and be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up too much about relapsing. You've proved you can do it before, so be confident in your ability to do it again. Your partner will most likely be feeling afraid things will return to how they were before your abstinence . This is perfectly natural. I hope you have the courage and support around you to return to your sobriety.

Good luck

Anna

Alex, use this as a learning experience. What happened and how can you prevent it from happening again? Show your girlfriend that this trend will not continue and that you are serious about your recovery. And, be kind to yourself and try to stay positive.

Alexloaiza

Saturday was a really bad day for me. I felt like I was alone. My gf went to Miami and also I received the news of my father which I met when I was a kid died. I shouldn’t be feeling about his death but the fact that I never met him athat much and out of nowhere knowing he was dead make me feel really bad.

Maudcat

Understandable.
Sorry for your sadness.
But...drinking won’t help.
Try again, Alex.
You can do it. You have done it.

Meraviglioso

Hi and welcome to you. I am really sorry you relapsed, I know what that feels like and it is miserable for the disappointment you cause in yourself and thinking that you have let those that care about you down. Do try to work on this though and come up with a plan to deal with future emotional pain, for surely it will come up.
Also, I am sorry about your dad. I think it is perfectly normal to have the feelings you have, even if you did not know him so well. I am sure a lot of emotions came up over that. I always say that feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. Don't add confusion over your feelings to the mix, just sit with them and let them be You are normal for hurting, now is the time to address those feelings though. Best wishes to you.

Mizzuno

Relapse:
Its been a part of my journey. It's been a part of many people's journey. As bad as you feel about this, don't let it be the reason to go back into using.

Learn from this. Learn from the emotions. Learn from the outcome.

I am sorry to hear about your biological father.
Be gentle with yourself.