DontRemember

I'll add this: Your wife stops for beers for the night. What do you fear of missing out on?..Maybe? 'awesome drunken sex?'...Or..How about those drunken arguments/regrets of things said while drunk..Those are just great! Look...whether your wife drinks or not, it's on you to live/control your own life. This was hard for me to grasp,because I was walking through life with my hand held by everyone that I financially took care of.. and that was a few people. They've since faded away once I drew a line. Not saying you need to leave your wife. Instead...accept yourself and own your shlt. Blame get's you excuses. Excuses get you NOTHING.

EAPoe

No mystery, no tricks, no magic. If you have alcoholism or addiction the answer to this question has been clearly determined. Take the steps in an urgent manner in order to develop a relationship with a Power greater than yourself and maintain that spiritual condition through inventory, prayer, meditation and helping others to do the same like your life depends on it, because if you have this illness, it does.

If you aren't the chronic, genetically predisposed addict or alcoholic then maybe just don't use no matter what or just say no or 90 meetings in 90 days, or working out or some of those other things may work for you, and if so that's great.

Personally, as well as the outline provided in the recovery literature I've read makes it very plain, the life of the person who has the disease of alcoholism or addiction is dependent upon a spiritual experience, and that individuals sustained recovery is dependent upon the maintenance of that experience.

DontRemember

Well said!

SportsFan15

For me personally, I tried 1. Not drinking and 2. Filling the time with other great things for several years.

It didn't work long-term.

I needed to be around other alcoholics (in recovery!) and go through the transformational process of the Steps and have a recovery plan.

I have a non-alkie friend who has done the Steps and believes everyone should go through the process regardless of their drinking status! It's such an important process.

DontRemember

This is true! I have a lot of 'Normal' people that know my plight and I think everyone should evaluate their drinking.

grayghost1965

Easy - don't drink

FreeOwl

just about four years.

plenty of failed attempts before that though....

FreeOwl

(PS - the first year I used AA as an anchor tool. Lots of support - here, in person, other sober folks, changing my habits, journaling, meditating, exercising.... lots of things.... lots of work... lots of reshaping my mind, body, emotions..... it wasn't easy. But, really, it's quite 'simple'... it was exactly the recipe I shared earlier...)

EAPoe

First post by the way

miamifella

I spent a long time trying to do it the "right" way following AA and trying other recovery methods.

But nothing worked until I really investigated what worked for me.

Phaaron

such great advice and productive solutions!
wondering how long you have been sober and how long it took you to finally adhere to this advice?

least

For me it was simply a matter of wanting to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I know some people find that statement frustrating, but it's true for me. When I got to that point, I wanted to be sober more than anything else.

Mick75

I'm not trying to be flip, I've relapsed, before and I don't really like that term...to be frank I got drunk! Relapse just sounds like I couldn't control it and maybe I couldn't, but I got drunk, for me I didn't relapse. Anyway I agree with a lot of the posts, I finally admitted to myself. I'm an alcholich, nothing in my life will ever improve with a drink. Nothing, ever, will improve if I put that crap, down my throat. One night I went to Waffle House at 2am, if you don't know Waffle House is a 24/7/365 resturant, when bars let out that's where the drunks go, seeing all that behavior and stupidity, reminded me nothing will ever be good if I drink!
I also thank God every day for another 24 hours because that's all I have. I also journal a lot and read here a lot.
Anyway that's my 2 cents.
Mick

Canuckleman45

Ok. Great everybody. Wow. There is a lot of good advice left for me and whoever else needed it. Thank you so much. sR is a godsend. So glad I found this site. Thanks again everyone.

FLCamper

Have you talked with your wife about this situation? You are attempting to make a very positive change and she should support that. I
don't understand why a partner wouldn't want to help, but there are those "enablers" out there. She may think she is helping.

I couldn't have quit if the person next to me was drinking. That temptation would have been too much.

KyCoo

It's hard to resist. I've been living with my brother and I see him get uneasy and hard to control himself.
I made a ginger drink (non-alcoholic) which comes in handy when he feels like drinking again.

JKPK

Hi Canuck.....I have been sober for over 2 months now, but I have the same problem (s) that you do. My husband still drinks, and whenever I open the frig there is a bottle of wine in there screaming "pick me, pick me!" I have broken down and taken a very small glass a couple of times, but I managed to stop before "the buzz" kicked in. " (my main reason for drinking) The wine itself didn't taste that great to my newly found taste buds, and I was able to put the bottle down. One battle down, but the war is forever ongoing. Always be aware....and never let your guard down. You can do this!

Canuckleman45

JKPK. That’s what I’m finding now. The taste is awful and I don’t bother. As well if I can’t have 6,7,8 beer then why bother having one. I just need to not have the one that leads to more and more.

PinnacleOR

I am on Day 19 after a bad relapse and 4 days in hospital. I realize now that reading books and saying to myself every morning "don't drink" wasn't enough to prevent my "Wolfie" AV from speaking up on the way home from work to stop for a bottle of wine like it was on autopilot. I need to up my game big time to nurture my sober self and realize and catch the AV when it arises. So my plan this time around is going to include the following:

1. Sobriety is #1 priority in my life, every decision, every day, always.
2. I need to take action every day, which includes an AA meeting, calling a fellow alcoholic, posting here in the AM, eating well, getting exercise, meditating, and at 5PM every day, before I leave work, reminding myself that today I will NOT drink under any circumstance.
3. Seeking a therapist weekly.

And more. I CAN do this but it's going to take a whole new level of work. And I will find a whole new level of contentment.

Canuckleman45

Pinnacle. I used to stop everyday on my way home as that was the habit and routine. Now i take a different route home so that has been great.