If it weren’t for Antabuse I would NOT be sober right now
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
If it weren’t for Antabuse I would NOT be sober right now
I go to drop off my kid at a laser tag birthday party and the moms are like, “hey we’re all gonna go drink in the bar” I ask quizzically, “Theres a bar inside the kid’s laser tag place?” Them: “Yes!”
I made some excuse and left. I felt kinda ill. Like this weird muffled scream going off in my chest. I stopped by a sad AA meeting. That didn’t help. Everywhere I went I saw breweries and tiki bars. I feel like I’m in newcomer hell. I just want all this pain to go away.
I made some excuse and left. I felt kinda ill. Like this weird muffled scream going off in my chest. I stopped by a sad AA meeting. That didn’t help. Everywhere I went I saw breweries and tiki bars. I feel like I’m in newcomer hell. I just want all this pain to go away.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Enforced or not, I think nows a great time to think about reasons for you to stay sober press - maybe even make an action plan?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
That is rough, I have the same experience here of alcohol being offered anywhere. We have even had little parties at the SCHOOL where bottles of prosecco were offered to the parents.
I agree with Dee though, now is the time to shore up your plan because the antabuse will only work for so long. It is a great tool/crutch, I have used it myself with success- up until a point. I then would get to a point where I "forgot" to take the medication for some days or it wasn't convenient to go get my daily pill and after a couple of days decided to drink, to disastrous consequences at that. I even found myself occasionally taking small sips to see how far I could push it/test it without getting a reaction. But boy oh boy, let me tell you, drinking on antabuse is NO JOKE. I have thought I was dying more than once, and maybe very well would have had it not been for my very strong physical composition. I got very, very lucky. DO NOT test this, please, do not.
So, I say all that to remind you that antabuse alone is not going to keep you sober. Or, if it does, at a maximum it is a kind of sad, miserable sobriety in which you are suffering a lot. I wanted to get rid of that suffering (like what you mentioned above, feeling like you were screaming inside, feeling tortured by the presence of alcohol everywhere) and the only way I could get rid of it was by putting a solid plan of recovery in place. Sobriety doesn't have to be miserable, and in fact, I have now found it is quite pleasurable, but it wasn't antabuse that gave that to me. Antabuse was a great tool to use as a back- up in really, really tough situations, but it was not the thing that kept me happily sober long-term.
I agree with Dee though, now is the time to shore up your plan because the antabuse will only work for so long. It is a great tool/crutch, I have used it myself with success- up until a point. I then would get to a point where I "forgot" to take the medication for some days or it wasn't convenient to go get my daily pill and after a couple of days decided to drink, to disastrous consequences at that. I even found myself occasionally taking small sips to see how far I could push it/test it without getting a reaction. But boy oh boy, let me tell you, drinking on antabuse is NO JOKE. I have thought I was dying more than once, and maybe very well would have had it not been for my very strong physical composition. I got very, very lucky. DO NOT test this, please, do not.
So, I say all that to remind you that antabuse alone is not going to keep you sober. Or, if it does, at a maximum it is a kind of sad, miserable sobriety in which you are suffering a lot. I wanted to get rid of that suffering (like what you mentioned above, feeling like you were screaming inside, feeling tortured by the presence of alcohol everywhere) and the only way I could get rid of it was by putting a solid plan of recovery in place. Sobriety doesn't have to be miserable, and in fact, I have now found it is quite pleasurable, but it wasn't antabuse that gave that to me. Antabuse was a great tool to use as a back- up in really, really tough situations, but it was not the thing that kept me happily sober long-term.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
Hi press;
I notice you are starting new threads instead of responding to posts and ideas on the threads you've already started.
If you would engage more in some interactive discussion, I think we could support you better.
What about what Dee and others just said about making a new recovery plan?
Have you done this yet, are you planning to, and do you see how this would
help you to move forward into recovery instead of twisting in the wind of
painful white-knuckled abstinence?
I really get how hard early recovery is, so what are doing besides not drinking
and taking the meds to make you sick if you do?
I see an AV trying to resist, resist, resist until you give up and drink again.
That will not help anything long term. You'll be back and worse in no time.
I'm not trying to be harsh here, but to encourage you to move forward
into taking some actions to feel better.
I notice you are starting new threads instead of responding to posts and ideas on the threads you've already started.
If you would engage more in some interactive discussion, I think we could support you better.
What about what Dee and others just said about making a new recovery plan?
Have you done this yet, are you planning to, and do you see how this would
help you to move forward into recovery instead of twisting in the wind of
painful white-knuckled abstinence?
I really get how hard early recovery is, so what are doing besides not drinking
and taking the meds to make you sick if you do?
I see an AV trying to resist, resist, resist until you give up and drink again.
That will not help anything long term. You'll be back and worse in no time.
I'm not trying to be harsh here, but to encourage you to move forward
into taking some actions to feel better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso 
That is rough, I have the same experience here of alcohol being offered anywhere. We have even had little parties at the SCHOOL where bottles of prosecco were offered to the parents.
I agree with Dee though, now is the time to shore up your plan because the antabuse will only work for so long. It is a great tool/crutch, I have used it myself with success- up until a point. I then would get to a point where I "forgot" to take the medication for some days or it wasn't convenient to go get my daily pill and after a couple of days decided to drink, to disastrous consequences at that. I even found myself occasionally taking small sips to see how far I could push it/test it without getting a reaction. But boy oh boy, let me tell you, drinking on antabuse is NO JOKE. I have thought I was dying more than once, and maybe very well would have had it not been for my very strong physical composition. I got very, very lucky. DO NOT test this, please, do not.
So, I say all that to remind you that antabuse alone is not going to keep you sober. Or, if it does, at a maximum it is a kind of sad, miserable sobriety in which you are suffering a lot. I wanted to get rid of that suffering (like what you mentioned above, feeling like you were screaming inside, feeling tortured by the presence of alcohol everywhere) and the only way I could get rid of it was by putting a solid plan of recovery in place. Sobriety doesn't have to be miserable, and in fact, I have now found it is quite pleasurable, but it wasn't antabuse that gave that to me. Antabuse was a great tool to use as a back- up in really, really tough situations, but it was not the thing that kept me happily sober long-term.
I agree with Dee though, now is the time to shore up your plan because the antabuse will only work for so long. It is a great tool/crutch, I have used it myself with success- up until a point. I then would get to a point where I "forgot" to take the medication for some days or it wasn't convenient to go get my daily pill and after a couple of days decided to drink, to disastrous consequences at that. I even found myself occasionally taking small sips to see how far I could push it/test it without getting a reaction. But boy oh boy, let me tell you, drinking on antabuse is NO JOKE. I have thought I was dying more than once, and maybe very well would have had it not been for my very strong physical composition. I got very, very lucky. DO NOT test this, please, do not.
So, I say all that to remind you that antabuse alone is not going to keep you sober. Or, if it does, at a maximum it is a kind of sad, miserable sobriety in which you are suffering a lot. I wanted to get rid of that suffering (like what you mentioned above, feeling like you were screaming inside, feeling tortured by the presence of alcohol everywhere) and the only way I could get rid of it was by putting a solid plan of recovery in place. Sobriety doesn't have to be miserable, and in fact, I have now found it is quite pleasurable, but it wasn't antabuse that gave that to me. Antabuse was a great tool to use as a back- up in really, really tough situations, but it was not the thing that kept me happily sober long-term.
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