Optimist4ever57

I didn't think I've been gone for so long. I have been logging in and reading but just wasn't ready to post. While I haven't been on a binge, I was drinking. Pulling a few sober days together here and there but ultimately getting sucked back into my addiction.

I am an alcoholic. Not sure I've ever said that but, it is a fact. It may be why I've been so reluctant to read the Big Book, or really work the 12 Steps. Just wasn't being honest with myself.

This month, I started working on Step 1. As I was reading everything I could find and doing all kinds of worksheets, I realized I never really worked the steps. I'm a very spiritual person and know my God is leading me in the right direction, (no issues here with my higher power) , but I need to do my part and working the program is truly helping me understand more about my addiction. December, I will start Step 2, giving each step the time it deserves.

I'm finishing up Day 3 and will not take any day for granted. This is where I usually slip up but not today. I'm already showered and ready to do some step work and read my Bible.

I'm looking forward to getting back to SR.

least

Welcome back!

Ghostlight1

Glad to have you back. We don't eat our wounded.
Sounds like you're ready for sobriety. In fact, your post uplifted me as a reminder that I need to stay vigilant.
And I'm happy you're here some don't make it back.

AnvilheadII

for me step work wasn't an internal thing i pondered, it involved real work....a notebook, a good pen, and carving out the time to write. every step....starting with step 1.

so that was back in the '80s.....these days they have them computer thingies....or tablets.....those work too, if you USE them.

in short, step work, is WORK. action. engagement.

Hevyn

Really glad to see you posting, Optimist. Congratulations on your 3 days sober.

Dee74

Good to see you back

D

Stronger2017

Welcome back Optimist🙂

Optimist4ever57

I do need to correct myself. When I was at my worst, and starting recovery (2012), I belonged to a church recovery program. They didn't really "do" the steps so we were encouraged to work the program on our own. I received a workbook and a recovery Bible.

Even though I answered the questions and got through the steps, I believed my real issue was my husband betraying me and how I dealt with that, not my drinking. Admitting my drinking is the problem is allowing me to answer the questions more honestly. Without the emotion of the whole abandonment, betrayal, divorce stuff in my head, I can see more clearly.

I so truly want this to be my new beginning....