lola1987

Well I had a run sober run. Until last month I said maybe just maybe I can drink in moderation. Boy was I fooling myself. Iv drank 3 times this week. All of which I have drank until I was severely drunk. I can't stop. I cannot drink in moderation. For me that is just not possible. So once again I'm on day 1. But this time I know I just cannot drink again. It's not worth it and I don't want to be a drunk. My partner god bless him gave up with me the first time. He never really drank and one or two would do him. But sometimes I used to try and pressure him into drinking with me just so I wasn't doing it alone. But no more. Iv so much support from my partner I don't need alcohol in my life. I am more determined then ever to do this. I will keep you all updated about my progress.

theVman31

Hope you get some help and you make it Lola.

What do you plan doing to stay sober and not be tricked by your AV ?

EarnIt

Day One here, too!

nez

Don't be devastated, instead look at it as a wonderful lesson that you were fortunate enough to live through. Remember this ". I cannot drink in moderation. For me that is just not possible." For me, it has been the best lesson I have received thus far in 14 years of sobriety because it started my journey in true recovery!

PinnacleOR

Good luck! We're rooting for you...you will succeed!

Strugglingtoget

I’m with you Lola: some part of me keeps thinking I can have a few and enjoy it. Hasn’t actually happened in years and always leads to terrible blackouts, hangovers, etc.

Anna

I'm glad you're doing this!

lola1987

Thank you everyone I have no plan as of yet I just do not want to ever drink again. This time I will stick to it I know it. I'm coming on here all day and I will continue to do so. I am also going to look into aa in my area and see if I can go.

Forward12

Don't look, do so. Get yourself back on track as you deserve better!

Dee74

welcome back lola

There a lot of good intent in there - follow that up with action and you'll have a great start

D

Gabe1980

I'm right with you Lola. Moderation/harm reduction just doesn't work. I've been having loads of thoughts of 'only when I'm out socially' or 'only a couple at the weekend' but it's all lies. I'm trying to remember those sneaky drinks before going out of the blackout drinking when I get home. Good for you for recognising that and making a positive start. If thoughts of moderating come back to you just come on here. I think we all have multiple failed attempts at moderating under our belts. Best wishes to you x

Lava256

I've never even thought of moderating my drinking. When I go in, I go in for the kill. I've even had times when I'd start drinking with the blackout in mind. Like I'd know when it was going to happen.

As a result, I don't drink normally ever at all anymore. I don't even get drunk anymore (especially when I drink at home). I just get high and then black out. Then wake up feeling like s**t. Hopefully, those days are behind me now.

I wish you all the best, lola. You sound really determined to kick the drink out of your life. You can do it!!!