How we think I realized yesterday that I expect that I should think like a normal person. But an alcoholic brain just doesn’t. (duh). I’m not a youngster. (70) Once upon a time in my early forties I stopped drinking for about 25 years. I was just a non drinker but heaven’s, NOT an alcoholic. Otherwise why would I have stopped for all those years? Nuther lie...we went to Mexico on vacation about 7 years ago. I let myself drink those foofie drinks they serve around the pool..the ones with little umbrellas...came home and didn’t touch a drop for another year. So of course, I’m not an alcoholic. Huh. But after the last trip a few years back when we came home, I thought “I enjoy these foofie drinks. I can enjoy THEM.” In a social situation. Huh. I guess I had to witness the progression of my problem. So within a few years 2 to be exact I was worse than all those many years ago. So I kidded myself through my life. I bought a lie and lived in it. But now I have reality, truth, good health for my age, 6 years free of BC, many grandchildren, one great, and a problem. I’m an alcoholic. So there. And I will work at this problem till you haul me out on a gurney. Didn’t mean to make a short story long but when you’re as old as I am it happens. Love to all. Oh and PS...my family would have had a problem if I said I had THE problem. Oh, Grammy, you were never an...huh. But I can work through that here too. |
Originally Posted by Oregongirlsite
(Post 6669162)
I realized yesterday that I expect that I should think like a normal person. But an alcoholic brain just doesn’t. (duh). I’m not a youngster. (70) Once upon a time in my early forties I stopped drinking for about 25 years. I was just a non drinker but heaven’s, NOT an alcoholic. Otherwise why would I have stopped for all those years? Nuther lie...we went to Mexico on vacation about 7 years ago. I let myself drink those foofie drinks they serve around the pool..the ones with little umbrellas...came home and didn’t touch a drop for another year. So of course, I’m not an alcoholic. Huh. But after the last trip a few years back when we came home, I thought “I enjoy these foofie drinks. I can enjoy THEM.” In a social situation. Huh. I guess I had to witness the progression of my problem. So within a few years 2 to be exact I was worse than all those many years ago. So I kidded myself through my life. I bought a lie and lived in it. But now I have reality, truth, good health for my age, 6 years free of BC, many grandchildren, one great, and a problem. I’m an alcoholic. So there. And I will work at this problem till you haul me out on a gurney. Didn’t mean to make a short story long but when you’re as old as I am it happens. Love to all. Oh and PS...my family would have had a problem if I said I had THE problem. Oh, Grammy, you were never an...huh. But I can work through that here too. Almost 4 years sober, I need to remember that I'm always just one alcoholic line of 'rationale' away from crashing right back down into the deep dark pit of despair. Thankfully, I have built for myself a life of grateful sobriety and it just keeps getting better. I never want to lose sight of that, and it's stories like yours that help remind me it's never too late to throw it all away if I let that old addicted brain drive the bus. :grouphug: |
I don't see why an 'alcoholic' wouldn't think like a 'regular' person. |
Originally Posted by JamesfrmEngland
(Post 6669188)
I don't see why an 'alcoholic' wouldn't think like a 'regular' person. |
For me, my thinking is flawed. Alcohol is but a symptom of my thinking. Call it what you want but as a youngster I wasn't taught how to express my feeling, emotions and how to deal with the problems of life in a positive way. I learned from my father, whom drank alcoholically. Now, I'm not saying that's why I'm a alcoholic but it does raise the issue of how I learned to deal with life. For me, it's more than just a alcohol problem, it's a living problem. I need to change my thinking and everything that goes with it. Bottom line is that my brain will make up a thousand reason why I should drink, it lies to me, tries to trick me and I always need to be on guard for that AV in my head. Just my thoughts.. |
Originally Posted by JamesfrmEngland
(Post 6669188)
I don't see why an 'alcoholic' wouldn't think like a 'regular' person. Doesn't even really matter what "regular" might or might not be. Point is; those of us suffering from alcohol addiction definitively, consistently, and without a doubt have developed specific patterns of thinking that tend to lead us right back into the depths of addiction if allowed to take the wheel. |
[QUOTE=Hats;6669210]For me, my thinking is flawed. Alcohol is but a symptom of my thinking. Call it what you want but as a youngster I wasn't taught how to express my feeling, emotions and how to deal with the problems of life in a positive way. I learned from my father, whom drank alcoholically. Now, I'm not saying that's why I'm a alcoholic but it does raise the issue of how I learned to deal with life. For me, it's more than just a alcohol problem, it's a living problem. I need to change my thinking and everything that goes with it. Bottom line is that my brain will make up a thousand reason why I should drink, it lies to me, tries to trick me and I always need to be on guard for that AV in my head. Just my thoughts Yes. It is a living problem. If we learn to think in healthy ways, truthfully and not hiding, good things will follow. My thoughts. 😉 |
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
(Post 6669212)
Doesn't really matter "why". Doesn't even really matter what "regular" might or might not be. Point is; those of us suffering from alcohol addiction definitively, consistently, and without a doubt have developed specific patterns of thinking that tend to lead us right back into the depths of addiction if allowed to take the wheel. |
Your story sounds very much like a story in AA's Big Book titled "Late Start". I'm on my longest dry spell yet, almost six months, I think I am learning how to outsmart my AV |
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