Gabe1980

Hi Everyone,

I'm feeling like I have moved from being in recovery to just being sober these last two or three weeks. I relapsed three weeks ago and ever since then the cravings have come back and I'm aware that I'm most likely going to start drinking again unless I take action and get back on track. I am thinking about the plans I had put in place and what I have let slide.
There are things that have been helpful before but any ideas would be greatly appreciated. I'd really like some advice on how to turn this around. I've heard about the pink cloud of early sobriety and I reckon that was a factor for me. I was finding things really straight forward and had very little cravings at first but the desire to drink seems more complicated now.
I started keeping a journal at the beginning and I plan to start again. I think writing every day is a commitment I want to make. I have a few ideas of what to include in my daily writing routine, gratitude list, inspiring things I've read here, that sort of thing but I was wondering what other folks include in their daily journals. Any information/advice would be much appreciated. I need to come back from the no man's land I feel I'm in.

Dee74

Have you ever thought about a recovery plan Gabe?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

D

joandmelandhan

Hi Gabe and congratulations on 3 weeks!
Something that has helped me tremendously is a sobriety plan. My plan is something that I can dip in and out of as a structure every day if I need to. At first the most important thing was to have a list of emergency measures and distraction ideas to combat times when cravings came. And of course they do come at first. I know that I have a lying, deceitful addiction that conveniently "forgets" the bad times to get its fix. I needed a way of structuring a plan to maintain my sobriety as the number 1 priority no matter what.
I have regular child free days as my daughter's stay at their dad's twice a week so I really needed a plan for this. So I did write down a list of measures to get me through. For me it was make sure my car has gas, make sure I have food and non-alcoholic beverages in, absolutely no spur of the moment shopping, plan every day, eat a balanced evening meal,......many more but I'm trying not to go on too long.
I guess my point is for now at 3 weeks the priority is perhaps AV management to build your sober time up. Journal about strategies, trigger times, helpful activities, phone numbers to call, reading materials, documentaries, meal planning, exercise timetable.......absolutely anything you can get down which you can refer to if things get tough.
A list of distractions is great too. Have a shower, eat a nice meal, down a pint of water, call someone, post here, watch a documentary on alcoholism, watch a nice light movie....... whatever works for you. I find plucking my eyebrows a good mind-calmimg distraction for example!
Hope I've helped a little and by the way if you keep going and dig deep when it gets bad it really does get better!

Gabe1980

I think I need to Dee! I thought I had a plan in place but I think it was more a collection of ideas that made me feel a bit better about being sober and made me feel well. I don't think it has been structured enough and when things got tough my plan fell apart. Thank you, I'll have a good look at the link.

Gabe1980

I think I need to Dee! I thought I had a plan in place but I think it was more a collection of ideas that made me feel a bit better about being sober and made me feel well. I don't think it has been structured enough and when things got tough my plan fell apart. Thank you, I'll have a good look at the link.

Gabe1980

That's brilliant, thank you. I had around 7 weeks before I replased and felt invincible! Underestimating this addiction and how intrusive my AV can be has definitely led me to how I am feeling now. Your post really does help. I realise that to carry on I have to have a routine that I carry out everyday regardless of what else is going on or how good/bad I'm feeling. I find cooking and eating really help with my cravings so I'm going to make sure I always have something decent to cook in the evenings. Your mention of plucking your eyebrows just made be realise how much my self care has slipped too. I really focused on that back in August. It made me feel good about being sober everyday as I never used to bother trying to feel nice when I was drinking.
I just really feel the need to write it all down. I feel looking at everything will keep my mind in a place where I can see I have things to drawn on when I'm struggling.

I really need to renew my commitment and put the effort in.

hpdw

Good work in realizing your situation and for posting and well done on 3 weeks .

I hope you can work out a plan .

Once I accepted that my mind and body were taking longer to recover after each binge and that I had had enough of being ill I found that a major shift happened .

Gabe1980

Thanks Thomas. I know that every time I drink the potential is there for me to ruin my life completely. My mind (or I should say my AV) is looking for ways around completely giving up drinking but I need to do exactly to opposite, accept it and go through it. Resetting my thinking by coming here and commiting to pioritising my recovery is the first step in that. Thinking about drinking but I haven't been drinking. I can steer things back.

joandmelandhan

Tell me about it! Twice daily teeth cleaning actually was quite an effort at first *cringe*
I'm glad you didn't see my post as pushy in any way it's just from my experience focussing on the actual job of doing whatever it takes to stay sober is number 1 priority for as long as it takes to feel like you're ready to tweak the plan.
I put a lot of other things on hold for a couple of months, hibernated a little if you like. Of course that was my strategy which I felt was needed as I really was in a bad way. We are all different but have the same goal IMO - a happy fulfilling SOBER life xxx

Gabe1980

I'll take a happy fulfilling SOBER life please! no, I didn't read it as pushy at all. It's so helpful to hear what other people have done in the early days. I just have this fuzzy feeling about what I'm trying to achieve and I want to gain clarity. That's why writing things down is always a good idea for me. I also need to work on accepting that sometimes it's going to be really hard but that doesn't mean that I'm failing - it just means it's hard! Bit sick of the whole thing but reading the posts above help that sliding down into self-pity. How can I feel sorry for myself, I'm still sober!

joandmelandhan

Even if the only good thing in a given day is that you got your head on the pillow at night sober then that's a win day! If you keep that plan and your mind firmly focussed on the job on hand ie maintaining sobriety no matter what then the rest will come. I know it is hard at times but that doesn't mean you're failing. We are the lucky ones Gabe I truly believe that. Take care xx

Gabe1980

That's it exactly. Strip it back to making sober the priority every day. All that extra stuff can wait. I feel lucky. There was a time I didn't even realise I needed help. Take care to you too X 😊

Culture

Hi Gabe, I'm at 3 months sober and found making the recovery plan made the difference for me. Also taking notice of the HALT triggers, I always make sure I eat regularly these days as I find if I get too hungry I will crave alcohol.
I read and post daily here and I ask for help if I am struggling, the thought of having to do another day 1 puts me off as well.
I accepted the fact that I can not do one drink, I would always want more, playing that tape forward kills the AV stone dead.
Congrats on your sober time.

Gabe1980

Thanks Culture. I think the HALT thing is a big factor. Some of my strongest cravings have been because of hunger on the way home after work. And being hungry at the supermarket. Part of the plan is an extra sandwich to eat at work, before I head home. Awesome job on 3 months! 😊