I'm struggling.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
I'm struggling.
Hi sober friends,
At 9 months I'm really struggling, I don't crave alcohol, my AA group is amazing support for me, yet I'm just not happy.
I'm sober, eating better, gave up sugar altogether, I just find myself blue most days. Not depressed, not sad just blue. Today was really difficult, cold,gray skys, rain turned to snow.
My son suggested putting a fire in the fire place, we all gathered round, made pop corn, hot cholacat, it should have been fun, but I'm sitting here just thinking...who cares, and when can I sneak off to bed. I know this will pass but I just can't find the joy, even at my AA meetings I find myself just ....going through the motions. Last year at this time I would be super drunk, maybe I just don't know how to deal with change of seasons sober? I do feel better just posting, but I still just want to curl up in bed and let it pass. Anyone else feel this way at times, and what do you do?
Love ya all,
Mick
At 9 months I'm really struggling, I don't crave alcohol, my AA group is amazing support for me, yet I'm just not happy.
I'm sober, eating better, gave up sugar altogether, I just find myself blue most days. Not depressed, not sad just blue. Today was really difficult, cold,gray skys, rain turned to snow.
My son suggested putting a fire in the fire place, we all gathered round, made pop corn, hot cholacat, it should have been fun, but I'm sitting here just thinking...who cares, and when can I sneak off to bed. I know this will pass but I just can't find the joy, even at my AA meetings I find myself just ....going through the motions. Last year at this time I would be super drunk, maybe I just don't know how to deal with change of seasons sober? I do feel better just posting, but I still just want to curl up in bed and let it pass. Anyone else feel this way at times, and what do you do?
Love ya all,
Mick
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 18
Hey Mick, I do get like that at times. I generally try and do something I enjoy. Seems obvious but it seems to work for me. I go for a run or walk, or if I’m in the middle of a Netflix series I’ll binge on that
not sure if tv binging is healthy tho!
This weather can bring people down.
Hang in there!
not sure if tv binging is healthy tho!This weather can bring people down.
Hang in there!
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Sounds like the human condition , as it were. Yeah?
We used to use a special trick to get past or mask the experience of that kind of mood. It can be an adjustment as you say to learn how to 'be' with those emotions, not necessarily wallowing in as some kind of penance , but acknowledge and perhaps actively try and get past .
A poster here on SR has a tag line "Nothing Sucks Forever " , kinda hopeful, yeah?
We used to use a special trick to get past or mask the experience of that kind of mood. It can be an adjustment as you say to learn how to 'be' with those emotions, not necessarily wallowing in as some kind of penance , but acknowledge and perhaps actively try and get past .
A poster here on SR has a tag line "Nothing Sucks Forever " , kinda hopeful, yeah?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Mick
you say you're not depressed but it sounds like depression as I experience it to me.
You had another thread not to long ago about anger.
Anger can be another sign of depression. Again, it is for me.
Thought about seeing a Dr at all? wouldn't hurt?
D
you say you're not depressed but it sounds like depression as I experience it to me.
You had another thread not to long ago about anger.
Anger can be another sign of depression. Again, it is for me.
Thought about seeing a Dr at all? wouldn't hurt?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
Hi Dee,
Ya I think i have to admit, depression is a real thing for me, I've been talking to a professional and she wants to help, but just like alcoholism I've been in denial about depression, I think it's high time I admit it and get help. Thanks I needed that push.
Mick
Ya I think i have to admit, depression is a real thing for me, I've been talking to a professional and she wants to help, but just like alcoholism I've been in denial about depression, I think it's high time I admit it and get help. Thanks I needed that push.
Mick
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
One last thing my sponsor sent this to me, make admiting alcohol isn't my only issue.
I'm going to bed soon but enjoyed this story.
The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.
There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, Before I send
you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you
will become the best pencil you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow
yourself to be held in Someone’s hand.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you’ll
need it to become a better pencil.
Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.
And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark.
No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.
The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box
with purpose in its heart.
Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them
and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself
to be held in God’s hand. And allow other human beings to access you for
the many gifts you possess.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going
through various problems in life, but you’ll need it to become a stronger
person.
Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s on the inside.
And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark.
No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.
I'm going to bed soon but enjoyed this story.
The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.
There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, Before I send
you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you
will become the best pencil you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow
yourself to be held in Someone’s hand.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you’ll
need it to become a better pencil.
Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.
And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark.
No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.
The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box
with purpose in its heart.
Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them
and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself
to be held in God’s hand. And allow other human beings to access you for
the many gifts you possess.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going
through various problems in life, but you’ll need it to become a stronger
person.
Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s on the inside.
And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark.
No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I like that! I'm going to remember that.
I'd agree to do something about the depression. Mine is treated with meds, which work very well, now that I'm sober. Makes a big difference in my life.
I wish you the best.
The other thing I do that helps me is to practice gratitude every day. Each day I find at least one thing I am grateful for. It makes such a positive difference in my attitude.
I also pet my dogs and cats when I feel low. That always makes me feel better.
I'm going to remember that. I'd agree to do something about the depression. Mine is treated with meds, which work very well, now that I'm sober. Makes a big difference in my life.
I wish you the best.
The other thing I do that helps me is to practice gratitude every day. Each day I find at least one thing I am grateful for. It makes such a positive difference in my attitude.
I also pet my dogs and cats when I feel low. That always makes me feel better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
Thanks Least,
I'm going to listen to my therapist. Just like my 1st AA meeting I need to admit a few things, thanks to you and Dee, and my sober friends here . Snow is 2 inches now and very cold. Tomorrow is another day. Good night, and I hope I didn't post too much, but it helps and it's good to have you all and a sponsor.
Mick
I'm going to listen to my therapist. Just like my 1st AA meeting I need to admit a few things, thanks to you and Dee, and my sober friends here . Snow is 2 inches now and very cold. Tomorrow is another day. Good night, and I hope I didn't post too much, but it helps and it's good to have you all and a sponsor.
Mick
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
I saw my doctor today, and she agrees I'm depressed, and she told me it's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm going to follow the course of treatment and see where it leads. I think I'm making another big step to getting better.
Mick
Mick
I am not these thoughts - I am the Master of these thoughts.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 134
Hi Mick
First of all, well done seeking professional support and that's absolutely right: that is nothing to be ashamed of.
Secondly, it will pass and you will find joy in the change of reasons, sitting by a cozy fire with the family, and the thought of drinking won't even enter your mind. The memories that keep my fire ignited for sobriety are those I spent with my family during the holidays, practically locked in with no place to go and no way of getting there, on account of a wonderful snow storm. It felt so great to let ago, accept I was going no where but was perfectly content being with the ones I loved. Those simple things and acquiescence were so enjoyable and freeing.
Take heart, stay strong and know and believe you will get there again, and so will I.
I am glad you are here and writing.
First of all, well done seeking professional support and that's absolutely right: that is nothing to be ashamed of.
Secondly, it will pass and you will find joy in the change of reasons, sitting by a cozy fire with the family, and the thought of drinking won't even enter your mind. The memories that keep my fire ignited for sobriety are those I spent with my family during the holidays, practically locked in with no place to go and no way of getting there, on account of a wonderful snow storm. It felt so great to let ago, accept I was going no where but was perfectly content being with the ones I loved. Those simple things and acquiescence were so enjoyable and freeing.
Take heart, stay strong and know and believe you will get there again, and so will I.
I am glad you are here and writing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
Hi all,
I'm doing better, I'm following my doctors treatment and I bought a lamp that mimics sunlight, night's are long here right now and the lamp helps a lot. The meds need to be dialed in, but so far things are much better, anger, and that just strange feeling of being blue are getting much better.
Thanks to ya all, your support and the support I get from AA are wonderful. I still want to sleep a lot but it's getting better. One thing that my doc pointed out is a lot of people self medicate with alcohol, something I really didn't know about.
Stay strong my friends.
Mick
I'm doing better, I'm following my doctors treatment and I bought a lamp that mimics sunlight, night's are long here right now and the lamp helps a lot. The meds need to be dialed in, but so far things are much better, anger, and that just strange feeling of being blue are getting much better.
Thanks to ya all, your support and the support I get from AA are wonderful. I still want to sleep a lot but it's getting better. One thing that my doc pointed out is a lot of people self medicate with alcohol, something I really didn't know about.
Stay strong my friends.
Mick
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