Teena123

I have been married to a alcoholic for 12 years he doesn’t realize it he says he doesn’t have a problem.. Everything will be going good and then he goes on a binge and he’s abuses me mentally and physically. I don’t know what to do to help him.. When he’s on his benge I am ready to leave then I’ll have it all planned out then he reels me but in it’s perfect for two weeks and then it’s awlful for one day.. I’m very much to myself but the handful of people that do know don’t understand why I stay.. I do love him but I’m to that breaking point.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Teena!!

Unfortunately until he wants to change there is nothing YOU can do, and it can be a very frustrating place looking in on someone else's addiction, intentions of help only go soo far, at the end of the day the addict must be willing to help themselves, or nothing will change.

My advice would be don't let your own life pass you by waiting on someone else to change, because what if they don't? . . . you have your own hopes, dreams and ambitions, go after those, and if the person changes great, and if they don't then you haven't put your own life on hold in the meantime.

You'll find loads of support here on SR!!

least

Hi and welcome! The only thing you can do is look out for yourself. Set boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate from him. Abuse is not tolerable, ever.

And if you say you'll leave, if he drinks, then leave as you said to let him know there are consequences.

We also have a friends and family forum you might find helpful.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/

Maudcat

Hi, Teena.
Welcome.
As PurpleKnight said, you can’t control your husband’s behavior.
Unless he chooses to stop drinking, this pattern of binging and abusing you verbally and physically will continue and, likely, worsen.
Can you leave, go somewhere safe?