A long, haunting, life or death struggle with alcohol
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Tobrien0817 
Without hearing much in the way of encouragement for a very long time from anyone going through the same thing, this means the world to me. Thank you to everyone once again, and hopefully I can figure this out soon.
however, i dont think this attitude:
I'm not interested in rehab, groups or anything of the sort. The only times I effectively stopped was because I wanted to
is going to help much.
The only times I effectively stopped was because I wanted to
if ya think about it- just read your original post, stopping and keeping it effective doesnt appear to work very well. if it did, ya wouldnt be in the predicament youre in.
if ya want to stay stopped for good, i hope ya get some humility and look for support.
my own thinkin got me drunk every time.
my own thinkin wasnt gonna help me stay sober. i needed other peoples' thinkin- people that had been in my shoes- to help me learn new thinkin.
that goes for actions,too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Tobrien,
You can get sober and you can live a life that is beautiful and gratifying.
I've used this forum as my main support and I am now sober ( this time around) for close to 8 months.
Just put one foot in front of the other and keep your eye on the goal.
You can do this.
You can get sober and you can live a life that is beautiful and gratifying.
I've used this forum as my main support and I am now sober ( this time around) for close to 8 months.
Just put one foot in front of the other and keep your eye on the goal.
You can do this.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Welcome Tobrien.
Sorry this is long.
Congratulations on your start.
I'm only six months sober, but I've learned a ton of things about the process that worked for me.
First and foremost, I could not have done it alone.
I used every tool at my disposal.
My primary care physician, who told me I had a big problem and any medical issues would not be solved without some sort of intervention. She would not continue any treatment without my first obtaining a psych consult.
Next was the psychiatrist at a mood disorder and addiction clinic. I had underlying bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, for which I had been medicated and stopped in 2005 or so. She wanted to continue treatment, but said that the first step of treatment should be medical detox and inpatient rehab, and indeed wouldn't treat the underlying mental health issues until I was sober from all substances.
Next step was medical detox and inpatient rehab, which began my 12 Step program and left me with a sobriety plan, as well as a community of sober people.
Once out of rehab, returned to my psychiatrist and started medication for the bipolar disorder. I continued to go to 12 Step meetings, AA or CA, to maintain a sober network, hear stories, and gain support in my sobriety. I didn't work the steps at this time, although I had gotten Step 1-3 in rehab.
Under the recommendation of my drug therapist in rehab and a referral from my psychiatrist, the next step was a Dual Diagnosis Intensive Outpatient Program, this treated both the underlying mental health issues and gave me incredibly useful cognitive tools to deal with both the depression/anxiety and addiction, particularly cravings. This involved group therapy, individual sessions, and medication monitoring.
After graduation from the IOP, under the recommendation of my counselors I started individual psychotherapy to work through issues and change the old scripts in my life that no longer are working for me to those that do, which is where I am now. I'm still going to meetings and working Step 4 with both my therapist (also a recovering addict/alcoholic) and my sponsor, as well as continuing to see a psychiatrist to deal with bipolar disorder and continued sobriety medically.
Note that all of the above involved admitting I needed help...and getting it from a large network of other people. I could not have done it alone. It may be that some of this help isn't available to you due to access, money, etc. But please fully utilize whatever tools you have. Rehab was crucial to my success. It enabled me to realize that I had a serious addiction problem that wasn't going away without participation and effort. I went to every group and individual session, and more importantly, I was present and worked them.
Step 1 was crucial. Ending up in medical detox and inpatient was enough to convince me that I was powerless over alcohol. I had a problem that wasn't just going away.
You're partly there. You've admitted you have a problem and are working toward or achieved abstinence. What are you going to do to achieve SOBRIETY and keep it? Wishing ain't gonna make it so. You can have all the best intentions but intentions are not enough to keep addiction at bay. It requires action. At some point, you're going to need to commit to a sobriety plan and keep it, whatever it is.
Your addiction has obviously had serious consequences. You realize that...another step towards surrender and acceptance that you have a problem. You've also reached out to a community...this forum. Bravo!
But you've tried many times and failed. Why is that? People get and stay sober from extreme addiction, this forum is a great example. Sometimes it takes a long time and a lot of relapses to get it right.
How are these people different from you?
Answer these questions and make a plan and commit to its success, when you're ready, but BEFORE you take another drug or drink.
This may not be what you want to hear, but I'm guessing I'd have near universal agreement that sobriety requires commitment, a plan, and support from others. 12 step might not be your journey, but there is no easier or softer way than working your sobriety in whatever method you choose.
I really hope that you have success on your journey, and I also hope that your sobriety occurs sooner rather than later.
Sorry this is long.
Congratulations on your start.
I'm only six months sober, but I've learned a ton of things about the process that worked for me.
First and foremost, I could not have done it alone.
I used every tool at my disposal.
My primary care physician, who told me I had a big problem and any medical issues would not be solved without some sort of intervention. She would not continue any treatment without my first obtaining a psych consult.
Next was the psychiatrist at a mood disorder and addiction clinic. I had underlying bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, for which I had been medicated and stopped in 2005 or so. She wanted to continue treatment, but said that the first step of treatment should be medical detox and inpatient rehab, and indeed wouldn't treat the underlying mental health issues until I was sober from all substances.
Next step was medical detox and inpatient rehab, which began my 12 Step program and left me with a sobriety plan, as well as a community of sober people.
Once out of rehab, returned to my psychiatrist and started medication for the bipolar disorder. I continued to go to 12 Step meetings, AA or CA, to maintain a sober network, hear stories, and gain support in my sobriety. I didn't work the steps at this time, although I had gotten Step 1-3 in rehab.
Under the recommendation of my drug therapist in rehab and a referral from my psychiatrist, the next step was a Dual Diagnosis Intensive Outpatient Program, this treated both the underlying mental health issues and gave me incredibly useful cognitive tools to deal with both the depression/anxiety and addiction, particularly cravings. This involved group therapy, individual sessions, and medication monitoring.
After graduation from the IOP, under the recommendation of my counselors I started individual psychotherapy to work through issues and change the old scripts in my life that no longer are working for me to those that do, which is where I am now. I'm still going to meetings and working Step 4 with both my therapist (also a recovering addict/alcoholic) and my sponsor, as well as continuing to see a psychiatrist to deal with bipolar disorder and continued sobriety medically.
Note that all of the above involved admitting I needed help...and getting it from a large network of other people. I could not have done it alone. It may be that some of this help isn't available to you due to access, money, etc. But please fully utilize whatever tools you have. Rehab was crucial to my success. It enabled me to realize that I had a serious addiction problem that wasn't going away without participation and effort. I went to every group and individual session, and more importantly, I was present and worked them.
Step 1 was crucial. Ending up in medical detox and inpatient was enough to convince me that I was powerless over alcohol. I had a problem that wasn't just going away.
You're partly there. You've admitted you have a problem and are working toward or achieved abstinence. What are you going to do to achieve SOBRIETY and keep it? Wishing ain't gonna make it so. You can have all the best intentions but intentions are not enough to keep addiction at bay. It requires action. At some point, you're going to need to commit to a sobriety plan and keep it, whatever it is.
Your addiction has obviously had serious consequences. You realize that...another step towards surrender and acceptance that you have a problem. You've also reached out to a community...this forum. Bravo!
But you've tried many times and failed. Why is that? People get and stay sober from extreme addiction, this forum is a great example. Sometimes it takes a long time and a lot of relapses to get it right.
How are these people different from you?
Answer these questions and make a plan and commit to its success, when you're ready, but BEFORE you take another drug or drink.
This may not be what you want to hear, but I'm guessing I'd have near universal agreement that sobriety requires commitment, a plan, and support from others. 12 step might not be your journey, but there is no easier or softer way than working your sobriety in whatever method you choose.
I really hope that you have success on your journey, and I also hope that your sobriety occurs sooner rather than later.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1
Hey tobrien!
Will you talk to me? I'm 28 also... my story of alcoholism is very similar and was very extreme. Hard to believe for a 27 year old girl at the time. I must advise you I've had seizures from withdrawal that I can gaurentee you will get if you are even tapering As you describe. but with that being said it is possible I have one year sober.
Will you talk to me? I'm 28 also... my story of alcoholism is very similar and was very extreme. Hard to believe for a 27 year old girl at the time. I must advise you I've had seizures from withdrawal that I can gaurentee you will get if you are even tapering As you describe. but with that being said it is possible I have one year sober.
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