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Old 10-30-2017, 11:42 AM
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Smile Introduction

Hello all. If this isn't in the right place, please forgive me and let me know where it should be. I wanted to introduce myself and I'll try to make this as brief and to the point as possible. I'm 44 and am the son of a now-deceased non-functional alcoholic mother, who was herself a daughter of an alcoholic. I have been an alcoholic for over 20 years. I became largely non-functional after my divorce 6 years ago. I have lost my last 3 jobs because I chose drinking and during those times have been in inpatient behavioral health units 4 different times due to suicidal thoughts (and weak attempts) again due to drinking and the resulting dark places it takes me. I am estranged from my daughter because of this also. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type II about 9 months ago and have been unemployed for almost a year (through counseling it became apparent that I was self-medicating in an effort to equalize my mood). After several med changes I feel more mentally stable but continue to relapse hard after every approximately 2-4 weeks of sobriety. I live alone and my trigger is loneliness particularly following a visit from my long-time distant relationship girlfriend. I run away from the loneliness and completely isolate from everyone and everything and drink every day for 1-2 weeks, consuming at least a 12-pack of beer. She supports me in every way possible and is a wonderful woman but still I relapse. I have a strong support system with people from church but I don't use them when I should. I'm hoping to use this forum as an additional support system because I don't want to continue on like this. I was here years ago but didn't keep up with it. I've got to change and want it more than ever. Thanks for reading.
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Old 10-30-2017, 12:23 PM
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Thanks for posting.

The good news is you are probably more ready than in 2013.

" I don't want to continue on like this. I was here years ago but didn't keep up with it. I've got to change and want it more than ever."

Your the only one in the drivers seat getbetter.
You can do it and you can control yourself.
Your still a young man.

Keep reading, posting, going to groups, church, counsellor, exercise, doctors, volunteering. ... Whatever it takes and whatever you take too.

Make it the number one objective.
Get yourself into the october class and say hello.
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Old 10-30-2017, 12:28 PM
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Welcome to the site. I am in a similar boat, we can do this my friend.
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Old 10-30-2017, 12:58 PM
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Welcome back, and you will find lots of support here. We do understand how difficult this is.

It might be helpful to make a specific plan for the approach of the two week point. Maybe you could add something such as exercise, a new hobby, doing volunteer work - anything that could help you to get past that point.
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Old 10-30-2017, 01:05 PM
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Thank you sincerely for the prompt replies, they are helpful.

I am starting some general contracting work with my brother in Christ tomorrow. He's actually doing the work for our Pastor. I just need to stick with it because I have let him down a lot in the past due to drinking. It is a far cry from my regular career (I'm a Speech-Language Pathologist in long-term care). I won't even make a third of what I would normally make but I'm not looking to get fired from another speech post. It will be enough to slow the cash hemorrhage and will give me focus plus being able to spend time with two Christians.

My goal is to post something at least every other day. The work will give me plenty of exercise.

I do have a question. The "October class" was mentioned and I appreciate the response but don't know what that means?
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Old 10-30-2017, 01:09 PM
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This is a group of members who began recovery this month. They gather and post on this thread to support each other:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ad-pt-3-a.html
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