Binge drinker needs help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 3
Binge drinker needs help
Hello, I’m new here. I have been reading thru everyone’s posts and they have been very helpful. I am currently struggling with my drinking. My problem is that I binge drink. Mom-Thursday I don’t even think about drinking but come weekends I want to have a drink but lately I can’t stop at just one. I end up blacking out. I have cried so much over this to my husband but he doesn’t think I have a drinking problem. I have passed out in the tub, fell, drink calling/texting, said mean things to husband, etc. I don’t like the person I have become & want to nip this now! He tells me I can just stop with a couple of drinks but I can’t! Sometimes I wish he would see how serious I feel about it. He used to be a big drinker but now will just have an occasional drink with dinner, etc and I think he feels I can do the same. The next day after a binge night I end up depressed for days & vow to stop but weekends come again and I have already forgotten how depressed I was so the cycle just continues. Please any words of encouragement would be appreciated...thank you
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You know the truth.
Your husband can no more understand this than he can understand what it's like to hate high heels and makeup. Or, substitute any female thing here. Surely there are some foods you like that he doesn't...same thing.
He doesn't have to understand. Just stop drinking and let him go on about it - he'll get used to it, and it is the right thing to do for you. Lots of people quit drinking while their SOs continue to drink.
Just quietly do the right thing - you'll feel better for it. People have opinions. That's all it is.
Your husband can no more understand this than he can understand what it's like to hate high heels and makeup. Or, substitute any female thing here. Surely there are some foods you like that he doesn't...same thing.
He doesn't have to understand. Just stop drinking and let him go on about it - he'll get used to it, and it is the right thing to do for you. Lots of people quit drinking while their SOs continue to drink.
Just quietly do the right thing - you'll feel better for it. People have opinions. That's all it is.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I was caught in the same cycle for a few years prior to quitting. Its almost worse than drinking daily (which I also did for awhile). The hardest part is getting through the first 3-4 weekends. It takes some effort but eventually your mindset will change and you will treat the weekends just like the weekdays....you don't really even think about it. Wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,658
Hi SO12...welcome and thanks for the brave and honest share.
You answered your own thoughts....get help.
For me....as is suggested at SR (check the sticky's)...I have a recovery plan. Just like planning a holidasy- logistics, what to do and how to do it.
I go to meetings. I use AA and SMART. They serve different functions, although the obvious goal is no booze.
I see my GP for physical health and to monitor my depression with a med.
I have a counselor- where I talk over and find solutions to every day problems...always with the intent on finding a solution. Examples are money, weight, dealing with divorce....
And the biggie- a psychologist to keep on learning about myself- and how to copwe with life in general by using CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy- where we can change our thinking- through action which then changes haw we feel).
Support to you.
You answered your own thoughts....get help.
For me....as is suggested at SR (check the sticky's)...I have a recovery plan. Just like planning a holidasy- logistics, what to do and how to do it.
I go to meetings. I use AA and SMART. They serve different functions, although the obvious goal is no booze.
I see my GP for physical health and to monitor my depression with a med.
I have a counselor- where I talk over and find solutions to every day problems...always with the intent on finding a solution. Examples are money, weight, dealing with divorce....
And the biggie- a psychologist to keep on learning about myself- and how to copwe with life in general by using CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy- where we can change our thinking- through action which then changes haw we feel).
Support to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Welcome and I'm glad you see that alcohol is causing problems in your life. I think it's best to not worry about what your husband, or anyone else, thinks about your drinking. You know what you need to do and you can do it.
You might think about a plan that will work for you. Maybe you could come up with some things to do on the weekend that don't involve drinking? Changing routines was very helpful for me in the early days.
You might think about a plan that will work for you. Maybe you could come up with some things to do on the weekend that don't involve drinking? Changing routines was very helpful for me in the early days.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 183
Been there. I started like that. Never drank during the week, just weekends. Then after a few yrs moved on to drinking Wednesday as well. Then it went on too every other day and that's where I am now. Its a downward spiral. Get help now. Keep posting here. Your husband is not taking it seriously because he is not you. He may not understand just HOW depressed you are. Does he drink?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
I too was a “non problem binge drinker”, problem was....it was a problem. I could feel the progression happening. I hated myself, it contributed to my depression, alcohol was a thief. I had to stop, I’d wake up not remembering what I did or said, but it was never good. I just passed 6 months, no hang overs, or shameful mornings. I didn’t care that the counselor or doctor didn’t flag it. It was a growing issue. The truth is i couldn’t stop. The progression was taking me down the same road that everyone here shares. You can never stop drinking to soon.
Samantha
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
I’m stuck in the same rut right now.
Only drink on weekends but then can’t stop. It’s a terrible life to live. No one thinks you have a problem but you’re literally drinking every chance you get.
Personally my fear is that it will get worse.
Good luck you can do this! AA and s sponsor along with maybe a counsellor will help.
Only drink on weekends but then can’t stop. It’s a terrible life to live. No one thinks you have a problem but you’re literally drinking every chance you get.
Personally my fear is that it will get worse.
Good luck you can do this! AA and s sponsor along with maybe a counsellor will help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by letsdance 
Been there. I started like that. Never drank during the week, just weekends. Then after a few yrs moved on to drinking Wednesday as well. Then it went on too every other day and that's where I am now. Its a downward spiral. Get help now. Keep posting here. Your husband is not taking it seriously because he is not you. He may not understand just HOW depressed you are. Does he drink?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by simplyfree
i too was a “non problem binge drinker”, problem was....it was a problem. I could feel the progression happening. I hated myself, it contributed to my depression, alcohol was a thief. I had to stop, i’d wake up not remembering what i did or said, but it was never good. I just passed 6 months, no hang overs, or shameful mornings. I didn’t care that the counselor or doctor didn’t flag it. It was a growing issue. The truth is i couldn’t stop. The progression was taking me down the same road that everyone here shares. You can never stop drinking to soon.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I could have written your post!!!!
You are not alone. All this matters is you and this is YOUR life!
It was a struggle (and at times still is) with my hubby but in general everything is better now that I don't drink.
Read around and participate. We are here for support.
You are not alone. All this matters is you and this is YOUR life!
It was a struggle (and at times still is) with my hubby but in general everything is better now that I don't drink.
Read around and participate. We are here for support.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
