LifeChanges

It is mostly daily but when it's not I make up for it in sleep.
I wake up to see the kids off to school, they feed themselves in the am. They go and I go back to bed and try to sleep. Pathetic. I then wait until 1:30 when oldest son comes home. I do nothing all day.
And I drink all night and sometimes finish up in the am to be able to get to sleep quickly. Then I feel soooo awful for day drinking, which I SHOUD! Then rinse, repeat..

Dee74

It's never too late to make a change LifeChanges

D

Ghostlight1

For the last seven or so years of my drinking I was a day drinker, too.
It was rinse and repeat for me, too. Shooters of whiskey at 8:30 am and then beer from there. Almost very day.
I felt guilty about it also. I wasted entire years of my life like this. So sad.

But, I haven't had a drink in over six years now. I needed help to quit I was so far gone.
I can sense the despair in your post. And I feel for you.
Have you tried aa or another recovery program? It sure saved me.

You're not alone. I know where you're coming from. But there is hope. And help. You have to want it, though.
Best to you, you're not alone.

PhoenixJ

I have a friend, she is newly sober. She has young kids and would only function by downing a whole bottle of vodka b4 breakfast. That was the chaser- before the serious drinking began. She did a rehab, also goes to a lot of meetings. I have not met one person who can beat booze- alone. Addiction defies will power and logic to me. I just had to accept I needed help.
Perhapos a counselor and meetings might help you.
Support to you. Keep posting. Well done, you on being brave. Thanks.

Anna

You can change and be the person you want to be.

Make one change today, just do one thing differently. And, tomorrow, make another change. It will help you to step out of the rut and to move forward with your life.

columbus

"Then rinse, repeat.. "

You forgot the "lather" part.

(the working on recovery part)

Can't get clean without it(!)

DontRemember

I'd toss a part time job into your recovery plan. Give you something to do in your drinking/down time and make some extra cash.

soberandhonest

Hi Lifechanges. Thanks for posting. It takes a lot of courage to come on here, even in an anonymous electronic format, and admit that you have a problem. It shows that you really want to heal. Admission of a problem and a willingness to get better are two huge steps towards recovery. You CAN change. You CAN recover. Loads of us have done it or are doing it. It starts with a very simple decision to not drink in the given moment that you are in.

In the last weeks of my drinking life - the darkest days of my entire life - I made breakfast for my kids while drinking beer, got them out the door, and filled my coffee cup with wine for my commute to work. Those were terrible days. But I don't spend time feeling shame or embarrassment for them. I was in the throes of a terrible disease - nothing more. Today, I use those memories and experiences to celebrate my recovery and remain vigilant of my sobriety.

You can get better. There is no better time than now - right now - to get started.

Good luck.

joandmelandhan

I've been where you are Lifechanges. 2 daughters and varying patterns of drinking including just what you described. It's an awful lonely, guilt ridden place and I feel your pain.
But honestly you CAN turn this around. It is absolutely possible to dig yourself out of this hole. Think about this. What do you achieve in your typical day? I'm guessing very little. Okay then how about achieving one thing. Just one thing. How about getting your head on your pillow tonight sober. Just that one thing no matter what else you may or may not get done. Then the next day do one thing. Just one thing. Get your head on the pillow sober that night too......etc etc etc
No matter what. Lie on the sofa, watch tv, drink water, cry, call your mum or a friend, post here, get some fresh air, have a hot shower, drink more water....... my point is it doesn't matter what you achieve in a day apart from that one important task. Get to bed sober. It's hard I won't lie and if you need to see your doctor please do but IT IS ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE TO BREAK THIS CHAIN OF ADDICTION.
I can't tell you the difference it makes. It is magnificent yet ordinary all at the same time. The beauty of just "normal" if you like.
Please make that commitment to yourself today and keep coming back here the support is amazing. Sending you love and support xxx

Hawkeye13

A lot of us came back from heavy drinking on a daily basis--that's where I was.

You can quit it too--all it takes is the will, and the willingness to get help.
Keep posting and make a plan

anxiousrock

Day drinking was where I realized I really have a problem too.
Maybe get yourself into a different routine. Morning AA meeting then the gym or something.
Then be sober for when your kids be home.
Easier said than done, I know, but you have to start somewhere.