wpainterw

In the Review Section of today’s (Oct. 29) New York Times there is a lead article entitled “Happiness is Other People”. It states that true happiness is being with and helping others, being helped by them. Increasingly people seem to be reaching out to one another on the internet through websites such as Twitter and Facebook. Indeed, this website, Soberrecovery, is a splendid way of reaching out, helping and being helped, feeling less lonely. Even so, it seems that increasingly fewer folk are meeting personally outside of their families. I have lived in many neighborhoods where the people did not seem to know one another. They kept to themselves.
Yet there is no substitute for personal contact. Recently, disabled after taking a fall yet needing to take a short (one hour) plane journey, I was impressed at the way other passengers helped me negotiate stairs and walk out to the little plane on the tarmac when the airline personnel had failed to make sure I a wheelchair, take me down in the elevator and out to the little plane . More recently, when I was having trouble to keep from falling when entering a building to Fedex a package, a man saw this, advised me to take it slow and easy and held the door for me. When I came out of the building, I saw him sitting in his truck. He waved to me and asked if I was O.K. After I told him that I was he said, “I understand completely. I have been where you are. I was crippled and in pain for a year. Other people helped me and I was so grateful!”
Such happenings renew my faith in humanity. I admire the way that,,in moments of crisis or disaster, people help, care for one another. At times I am concerned that much of our culture seems self centered, commercialized, depersonalized. So many of the so called “me” generation thinking “I want”, “I need” instead of “How can I help?” When people do the latter in times of need, crisis this makes me happy, and often, I hope, might make them happy.
Recovery from alcoholism is like this. I remember a person I met in a rehab. He said, “Let’s do it together! And we did!”

W.

least

Here's the article.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/27/o...=31968264&_r=0

Dee74

Thanks for a great message Bill. I certainly get a lot of of helping others and I'm always surprised at the assistance offered to me in the real world, as well

I'm sorry you fell tho - are you back to full health?

D

ed2715

I do not know you but I have read many of your posts, particularly to Mera, whom I admire greatly. Thank you for helping others and for encouraging us to help each other. I will do my best to look out for my fellow creatures!

wpainterw

Thanks Dee. I'm about 60 percent or more back where I was and figure I'll be nearly fully recovered in another week, at least enough so I can use the recumbent seat exercise machine in the basement (all muscle bruises, no bones broken). Important to do that because of my heart issues.
The whole thing has been a learning experience for me. I should not be afraid to be old, to have to do things slowly and carefully, almost like some ceremony. Use the walker as much as possible. Plan for every contingency. And, despite all that, if I fall, then try to minimize it and if I don't succeed in that, then accept whatever that will mean. If I develop some serenity then at least they can't take that away from me.

Bill

Dee74

I'm still not good at going slow or using my cane Bill - but every fall bangs a little more sense into my stubborn head, lol

D

miko67

Good to hear from you Bill.
I love your message my friend. I always enjoy reading what you write.
Muhammad Ali says , service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
Aa speaks about it , in the 12 step and every spiritual or religious organisation are big on the act of service to others.
I think it's wonderful how a small act of kindness can have such a big affect on you.
And then we just pass it on. Makes the world go round that thing called love ;-)
Thanks

ed2715

My mom is 87 years old and I wish she would use a cane or a walker. I am not so afraid of her falling as of someone knocking her over. She is so fragile. I feel a strong wind could blow her over, but yet she continues to remain stubbornly caneless. I hope she doesn’t fall! Glad you are recovering!

Maudcat

Neither my mom nor my mil, both in their nineties, likes using a cane, though it would help them both immensely.
Actually, I wish they would use their walkers, but that ain’t happening!
On another note, I took the train not so long ago.
I had a very heavy suitcase, as I was going to accompany my friend as she transported her car to Florida.
For the first time, ever, I had difficulty heaving my bag onto the overhead rack, and getting it down.
Both times, young women came to my aid.
So grateful.

Gfjml

I spent my Saturday morning giving service to my elderly neighbor. We helped arrange with her family for some much needed tree trimming. It was 4 hours of hard work, BUT the whole time I was working I was so happy. I even thought about how it could be such a great tool for recovery. I have been lucky to be raised in an area where you are taught about the importance of giving service (big or small) to others. This experience for me came at a perfect time to remind me how great I feel giving!

wpainterw

P.S. Perhaps, pursuant to evolution over thousands of years, humans, and some animals (e.g. elephants, gorillas), have become hard wired, brains and body, to seek and provide the protection of a group. Hard wired sociability, even love. In prehistoric times, living in caves or rude shelters, men were often the hunters, women raising the children, cooking, perhaps occasionally rearranging the furniture in the form of stones (no television!). The tribe or pack would have a head person or animal (e.g. the elephant, the grizzly bear). In groups they protect one another, help one another.
Technical developments and depersonalization have eroded the opportunities to seek personal contact. Access to information and "products" has increased exponentially but true sociability and caring has diminished. But, having been hard wired, humanity still retains these traits, these needs, these customs. Danger, catastrophe, bring it all out

W.

awuh1

I recommend the movie "I AM". It has an interesting perspective on this.
I Am (2010) - IMDb

MythOfSisyphus

It does seem like modern society can lead to isolation. We're mobile, moving frequently for work, and our addiction to gadgets can crowd out actually socializing with other people. But technology can also create venues for community like this one. I agree that by helping others we ultimately help ourselves; it's part of human nature to take care of one another.

Meraviglioso

Great post Bill, and thank you for all the help you give to so many here. You have helped me immensely with your words and support.
I find I am at my best when helping others. It makes me feel good and gives me purpose. I feel connected to my surroundings and am reminded of my fortune- even when needing my own help. It truly helps keep me sober I think.

hpdw

What a lovely post to start my day .
On Sunday while browsing the car boot sale I reached in my jeans pocket for my phone and unknown to me I pulled out a £2 coin and it fell to the ground . I felt a tap on my shoulder and an elderly man saying here ! you dropped this and handed me the coin . I thanked him kindly and watched him take up his seat where he was having a hot drink next to the burger van . I thought ! wait a minute and went back to him ,put the coin on the table he was seated at and said this will get you a coffee next week . He said "you don't need to do that"in a jovial kind of way ,but I insisted , shook his hand and told him "we need more people like you in the world " .
A simple act of honesty and kindness from a complete stranger made everything seem just right .