Personal Victory and What I've Learned
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Personal Victory and What I've Learned
Good Morning SR!
This will be a long post, I get long winded at times as I like to talk/write.
I wanted to take the time to share my experiences of the last week as it's been a personal victory in a way I didn't think I would accomplish. It's a tried and true sentiment on a couple of lessons I've learned from SR in talking to people and implemented in ways that WORKED. For those struggling right now, I hope you can pull something from my positive experiences.
For those that don't know, I'm a Probation Officer and work with a very difficult population. This last week I was chosen to attend Gang Training, which I was very stoked about. It's a population of people I've been working on and off with for 10 years and it's an always evolving and changing population. This training was held 3 hours away and I was put up in a hotel room for the week.
Now, being very early in my recovery, I was terrified to be away from home. I credit my sobriety (6 weeks Monday) to being very structured and organized with my days. This week in a hotel with co-workers and no support system terrified me as I wasn't sure I was strong enough to be away from my routine. This past week was going to be my toughest challenge yet.
I've been away for training before, weeks and months at a time. These periods of time were riddled with drinking, having a drink in hand 15 minutes after class ended. Drinking every night, hung over and worthless for half the next day, rinse and repeat. People in my field are very heavy drinkers, might be a way to cope with the stress of the job, and we ALL took advantage of the time away. This training was no different.
So to share a little bit about my mental status from the two weeks ago.....I was thinking a lot about being away. I was convincing myself it would be ok to JUST drink while I was away, that I deserved it, and once I got back home, I'd be sober again. It sounded like a great plan to me, I even considered drinking and not telling anybody back home and nobody would be the wiser to it. I was concocting every possible way to justify drinking again because I didn't think I could stay sober last week and I wasn't willing to even try it. All the reasons I quit drinking I wasn't thinking about, I was fixated on a week of binging with friends and I was preparing myself for relapse.
A few lessons I've learned from others while talking and reading with people here on SR. Things I've never done before when I've tried to get sober:
1) One day at a time, just think about today and sobriety today.
2) Tell people about your recovery, either they will be supportive or not, but it makes it really easy to decide who you should be around.
3) Make a plan - and stick with it. Be selfish and put yourself first.
4) Communicate your struggles.
5) Just because you WANT to relapse, doesn't mean you relapsed.
When I got to my hotel room Sunday night, I met up with some co-workers I hadn't seen in years. In their hotel room they had a bottle of vodka and a case of beer and were both knees deep into their own inebriation. They offered me a drink and I immediately declined and told them I've quit drinking. This could have gone one of two ways - support or ridicule. Both I've received from friends and family in the last 6 weeks. I wasn't sure WHAT to expect from some old drinking pals.
They were accepting of it. They congratulated me on my sobriety, they put the beers and vodka out of sight (even though I told them it was cool), and we had a really great visit catching up. That moment defined my whole week. I went into their hotel room Sunday night assuming there would be alcohol, and preparing myself for the decline of alcohol. Sunday, I DIDN'T want to drink, I recognized a high-risk situation, I prepared mentally and emotionally ahead of time, and played out different scenarios and how I'd respond. This PREPARATION is what we, as alcoholics, need to do, in order to be successful, and this week really solidified that mentality in my head.
I stayed sober all week, I was around alcohol every night and was content knowing I would get up in the morning feeling good. I was able to study my notes every night and prepare for the test on Friday, as if I didn't pass the test without 80% or better, I wouldn't be a Coordinator and it would all be a waste of time. I studied A LOT, and I passed my test with a 90%, one of the highest scores in the group.
Hard work, and perseverance, paid off in a BIG way. I'm so proud of MYSELF. That pride is going to continue to push me forward. If I can make it through last week, anybody can make it.
Utilizing what people SAY here, can be scary. It was scary for me to tell people I'm sober now because I'm just NOT a sober person. The ridicule I've recieved from others, I figured I'd get more of that, but WHO CARES. I'm not getting sober for anybody except myself. My path is full of changes and challenges. It's a scary path and you NEED to take risks.
Please, don't do this alone, reach out, be honest with yourself and others, take it one day at a time (6 weeks scared the **** out of my 6 weeks ago but 1 day felt manageable), and WANTING to relapse is ok if utilized in a way to prevent that relapse.
TL;DR - If I can stay sober, you can do.
for reading, and please reach out for help instead of trying to do it alone.
This will be a long post, I get long winded at times as I like to talk/write.
I wanted to take the time to share my experiences of the last week as it's been a personal victory in a way I didn't think I would accomplish. It's a tried and true sentiment on a couple of lessons I've learned from SR in talking to people and implemented in ways that WORKED. For those struggling right now, I hope you can pull something from my positive experiences.
For those that don't know, I'm a Probation Officer and work with a very difficult population. This last week I was chosen to attend Gang Training, which I was very stoked about. It's a population of people I've been working on and off with for 10 years and it's an always evolving and changing population. This training was held 3 hours away and I was put up in a hotel room for the week.
Now, being very early in my recovery, I was terrified to be away from home. I credit my sobriety (6 weeks Monday) to being very structured and organized with my days. This week in a hotel with co-workers and no support system terrified me as I wasn't sure I was strong enough to be away from my routine. This past week was going to be my toughest challenge yet.
I've been away for training before, weeks and months at a time. These periods of time were riddled with drinking, having a drink in hand 15 minutes after class ended. Drinking every night, hung over and worthless for half the next day, rinse and repeat. People in my field are very heavy drinkers, might be a way to cope with the stress of the job, and we ALL took advantage of the time away. This training was no different.
So to share a little bit about my mental status from the two weeks ago.....I was thinking a lot about being away. I was convincing myself it would be ok to JUST drink while I was away, that I deserved it, and once I got back home, I'd be sober again. It sounded like a great plan to me, I even considered drinking and not telling anybody back home and nobody would be the wiser to it. I was concocting every possible way to justify drinking again because I didn't think I could stay sober last week and I wasn't willing to even try it. All the reasons I quit drinking I wasn't thinking about, I was fixated on a week of binging with friends and I was preparing myself for relapse.
A few lessons I've learned from others while talking and reading with people here on SR. Things I've never done before when I've tried to get sober:
1) One day at a time, just think about today and sobriety today.
2) Tell people about your recovery, either they will be supportive or not, but it makes it really easy to decide who you should be around.
3) Make a plan - and stick with it. Be selfish and put yourself first.
4) Communicate your struggles.
5) Just because you WANT to relapse, doesn't mean you relapsed.
When I got to my hotel room Sunday night, I met up with some co-workers I hadn't seen in years. In their hotel room they had a bottle of vodka and a case of beer and were both knees deep into their own inebriation. They offered me a drink and I immediately declined and told them I've quit drinking. This could have gone one of two ways - support or ridicule. Both I've received from friends and family in the last 6 weeks. I wasn't sure WHAT to expect from some old drinking pals.
They were accepting of it. They congratulated me on my sobriety, they put the beers and vodka out of sight (even though I told them it was cool), and we had a really great visit catching up. That moment defined my whole week. I went into their hotel room Sunday night assuming there would be alcohol, and preparing myself for the decline of alcohol. Sunday, I DIDN'T want to drink, I recognized a high-risk situation, I prepared mentally and emotionally ahead of time, and played out different scenarios and how I'd respond. This PREPARATION is what we, as alcoholics, need to do, in order to be successful, and this week really solidified that mentality in my head.
I stayed sober all week, I was around alcohol every night and was content knowing I would get up in the morning feeling good. I was able to study my notes every night and prepare for the test on Friday, as if I didn't pass the test without 80% or better, I wouldn't be a Coordinator and it would all be a waste of time. I studied A LOT, and I passed my test with a 90%, one of the highest scores in the group.
Hard work, and perseverance, paid off in a BIG way. I'm so proud of MYSELF. That pride is going to continue to push me forward. If I can make it through last week, anybody can make it.
Utilizing what people SAY here, can be scary. It was scary for me to tell people I'm sober now because I'm just NOT a sober person. The ridicule I've recieved from others, I figured I'd get more of that, but WHO CARES. I'm not getting sober for anybody except myself. My path is full of changes and challenges. It's a scary path and you NEED to take risks.
Please, don't do this alone, reach out, be honest with yourself and others, take it one day at a time (6 weeks scared the **** out of my 6 weeks ago but 1 day felt manageable), and WANTING to relapse is ok if utilized in a way to prevent that relapse.
TL;DR - If I can stay sober, you can do.
for reading, and please reach out for help instead of trying to do it alone.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
WONDERFUL post and even better news!!!!
It took a ton of courage to tell your drinking friends right up front and good for you...and good for them for supporting you.
Now you know you can do this, no matter what. Way to go!!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
This is an awesome share. Absolutely superb. Thank you so much
This is where i have found myself many many times in my past (and it will stay past)...
‘I've been away for (business) before, weeks and months at a time. These periods of time were riddled with drinking, having a drink in hand 15 minutes after (business) ended. Drinking every night, hung over and worthless for half the next day, rinse and repeat. ‘
People in MY field are NOT heavy drinkers, and my professional stature was suffering decline. One or two would actually take pity at team dinners and order a drink so I wouldnt be the only one drinking. NOT cool.
This was me to a T:
‘So to share a little bit about my mental status from the two weeks ago.....I was thinking a lot about being away. I was convincing myself it would be ok to JUST drink while I was away, that I (NEEDED) it, and once I got back home, I'd be sober again. It sounded like a great plan to me.
SaturatedSeize, your list of lessons learned is priceless. And a version of #5 is what has gotten me through with self respect. I used to loathe myself for thinking about relapsing...but it is true:
#5 just because you want to relapse does not mean you have relapsed
This is where i have found myself many many times in my past (and it will stay past)...
‘I've been away for (business) before, weeks and months at a time. These periods of time were riddled with drinking, having a drink in hand 15 minutes after (business) ended. Drinking every night, hung over and worthless for half the next day, rinse and repeat. ‘
People in MY field are NOT heavy drinkers, and my professional stature was suffering decline. One or two would actually take pity at team dinners and order a drink so I wouldnt be the only one drinking. NOT cool.
This was me to a T:
‘So to share a little bit about my mental status from the two weeks ago.....I was thinking a lot about being away. I was convincing myself it would be ok to JUST drink while I was away, that I (NEEDED) it, and once I got back home, I'd be sober again. It sounded like a great plan to me.
SaturatedSeize, your list of lessons learned is priceless. And a version of #5 is what has gotten me through with self respect. I used to loathe myself for thinking about relapsing...but it is true:
#5 just because you want to relapse does not mean you have relapsed
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