anxiousrock

Drink got me again.

It’s so hard. I feel like I’m giving it all I have but I get so bored and always end up drinking.
I go to meetings, the gym, bowling, etc but I can only stay so busy I guess.
Fail again.

Gottalife

Have you tried working the steps?

anxiousrock

Yes. I do love AA.
But I can’t get past step 1 honestly.

Dee74

Hi Anarock

I wish it was as easy as filling our life up with stuff and the problem disappears...but then again we spent years trying to fill the void in us with stuff - and that never works either.

I think if you can accept the existence of the inner void, and our inability to fill it, you're pretty much closing in on step one?

D

August252015

Step one is tough. It took me a long time, and I railed against AA for no good reason- I just want to keep drinking.

If you love AA, then perhaps taking a temporary sponsor to patiently work with you on Step one as long as you need, while encouraging you to learn the BB and begin moving forward is a good idea?

anxiousrock

How do get a temp?

tomsteve

a temporary sponsor is for temporary sobriety.
it would be wise to learn what a sponsor is and the duty of a sponsor, which this pamphlet is pretty good for that:
https://www.aa.org/
assets/en_US/aa-literature/p-15-questions-and-answers-on-sponsorship

https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


to find a sponsor, listen at meetings- listen for someone that has what you want. listen for someone that talks the program.
then appraoch and ask em to be your sponsor. it can happen that a sponsor is already loaded with sponsees and has to decline. if that happens, ask if they know someone that would be able to sposnor ya.

ScottFromWI

Even if you are not using AA, the concept of step on and accepting/acknowledging/surrendering that we cannot drink safely is probably the most important thing to do In my opinion. If you don't define what the problem is, you can never solve it, right?

HTown

This above: We are powerless over alcohol. We do not have the ability to quit on your own. You really need to accept that and realize all of your willpower is not enough. Only when I realized I could not do it alone did I really have a chance. I used SR and I prayed for help. As in so many things, when I gave up control and prayed for guidance it worked.

biminiblue

^^This 100%.

I landed on my knees in desperation one morning nearly four years ago and cried out, "Help me!"

I haven't had a drink since.

Anna

I don't think it's just 'staying busy'. No one can stay busy all the time. I think it's learning to be comfortable in your own skin, with your own company.

least

I kept drinking until I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Not easy, but simple. Now that being sober is my number one priority, nothing on earth can make me drink.

2muchpain

WOW!!!!!!!!! That's it. Wish I could figure out how to print this out. Gotta write this down and memorize it. John

FreedomCA

You said you can’t get past Step 1? Seems to me you have and you’re relapsing because you have not chosen to go to Steps 2 and 3. You understand that you’re powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable, right? Write down today how you’re powerless over alcohol and how your life is unmanageable. Now move on to Steps 2 and 3. Use the Big Book and 12 and 12 to guide you. Soon you will be on Step 4 in no time. You can do all of this without a sponsor. Google and online resources can guide you how to work the steps until you choose to get a sponsor, if that is what you want.

Bob4x4

do you know anything about H.A.L.T. or the notion of an Alcoholic Voice , some people use the term AV.

some people say the right thing to do is to go to AA meetings every day for 90 days

also, check out 'quit drinking' on YouTube and see what pops up.

some good subliminal sleep stuff as well as straight up advice.

put your player on auto play, see what pops up.

if you constantly are hearing this kind of stuff at home then it's going to be on your mind, and add some umph to your desire to quit.

__Booze _____ You

PurpleKnight

I like the quote from Thomas Edison:

"I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work"

Go at things again, change up your plan, and don't loose hope!!

Gottalife

Hi Anarock,

Step one was a no-brainer for me. I think I started work on it when I took my first drink, so it took a while to sink in, for me to see the progression, the deterioration, the truth. Then came step two, also a challenge because I had no belief. Let me ask you a question:

Do you now believe, or are you even willing to believe that the same power that helped me and those recovered alcoholics who you have met in your meetings, could possibly help you?

least

Drink didn't get you, you got it. Drink didn't pour itself down your throat, you put it there. Don't be a victim of your addiction. Let it throw its tantrum, after a while it will stop. The craving to drink won't last forever.

neferkamichael

Anarock, yes you can win. I was a drunk for 40 years and now 7 years sober. Never give up, I had years of failing. We are all rootin for ya.

Stayingsassy

You guys are right about step one. If step one isn’t believed and accepted there will be more drinking. For me step one was a firm “you take that first drink Sassy; say goodbye to all your power.” That is an absolute. After my first drink I am utterly unable to control what happens next.

Alcoholics who believe they still are steering the boat when they drink, they are still in control when they drink, have not gotten past step one.

Keep losing that control...oh boy it can take you where you never wanted to go. Sometimes, that’s what it takes to finally land yourself on step one. Problem is, you don’t know where it’s taking you. Waking up somewhere weird? Losing friends and completely humiliating yourself? Losing jobs, family, public reputation?
.....or six feet under? For some step one never comes.