51 hours since last drink
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Caledon, ON
Posts: 130
I've been keeping an eye on this thread Stacey, secretly rooting for you. I'm sorry you're disappointed in yourself but use this as motivation. Days 3-8 have, in the times I've tried, been the hardest days to soldier on. Try something new next time with your recovery plan. Tomorrow will be day one again and hopefully in no time you'll look at this as a lesson learned and nothing more.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 37
Hi everyone, thank you again for all your lovely words and caring thoughts of support. It means alot, more than alot it gives me a feeling of inner strength and having fallen off the wagon monumentally for the last 3 days (well from 6pm Monday to 11pm last night Wednesday so 2 and half days....and I really did think f*#$ it and fall right off😢
...i'm ready to start again. And I'm going to try and learn from why I suddenly gave in Monday evening and stop with the self pity that I've been wallowing in since then. Today is a new fresh day and my head is banging but my will is strong...again....I'll keep reading my lovely supportive words on here and heres to completing day 5 this time!!!☺☺
...i'm ready to start again. And I'm going to try and learn from why I suddenly gave in Monday evening and stop with the self pity that I've been wallowing in since then. Today is a new fresh day and my head is banging but my will is strong...again....I'll keep reading my lovely supportive words on here and heres to completing day 5 this time!!!☺☺
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
Stacey,
SR is an awesome family, with the help them, in 3 days I will celebrate 6 months sober.
Staying sober forever is a long time, but staying stay sober for 24 hours isn't so bad. That's why they say 1 day at a time.
SR is an awesome family, with the help them, in 3 days I will celebrate 6 months sober.
Staying sober forever is a long time, but staying stay sober for 24 hours isn't so bad. That's why they say 1 day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,534
Hi Stacey, just get through that first week whatever it takes, and you'll see what these people mean if they say it will ease off a lot. During my first week I was almost taking it by the hour and adding another 12 to my count as half a day went by. The constant thoughts of having a drink really get much weaker after that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 37
I really look forward to checking on my thread and seeing the kindness of strangers towards me!! I think thats such a beautiful part of human nature that we can all root for each other and find joy and hope and strength in one another!! Feeling a bit emosh tonight...again!!! My second round of day 1 has gone pretty well....haven't wanted a drink at all....let's hope it stays that way...that made me chuckle even writing that!!😣😣😂😂 wonder what day I'll be locking myself indoors to stay out the wine aisle this time!!?? Not funny!!😜
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
I'm so glad you've stopped again, Stacey. Is there any way you can envision detaching from and dismissing/ignoring that part of your brain that wants to scan the wine aisle, that part that isn't the 'you' that wants to stop drinking? It's really not as difficult as it sounds. Ambivalence is at the heart of it, or should I say brain. Have you looked into the process of addiction, what I've written will make more sense, if you have. Of course, the first few weeks are more difficult, as the addicted part keeps sounding off with cravings and thoughts, like an alarm clock - but after then, the snooze button is more easily hit, until the clock very rarely sounds. It gets much easier as time goes on!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
We're with you, Stacey. Remind yourself that there's nothing in it for you anymore - what was once fun just brings misery. I kept seeking the euphoria it once gave me - but it was long gone & never coming back. You're doing this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 591
Hi Stacey!! I know what it's like to keep hitting that wall, but one day you'll climb it, or find your way around it. Just keep trying. I am barely over the top myself but i am starting to see the other side and it looks beautiful!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 37
I want to actually smack my head off a wall. I am an intelligent (marginally) woman and yet can I free myself of this devil? No. And to be honest I feel like I'm throwing away a friend. How utterly ridiculous is that!! But it's no lie that alcohol has been my friend and comfort through some terrible times. And I've had a few and when the memories return I need my old friend
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 591
Hi! Stacey its natural to want to numb our pain and I did the same thing for along long time. A tough or stressful situation comes up and a few drinks down and everything is fine. But is it? We dealt with it by drinking it away instead of actually "dealing with it." The problems are still there and I know many times the problem just escalated because I chose not to deal. It is not a friend, it's a crutch that you need to learn to walk again without. It doesn't care about you or your problems, make no mistake about that
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Stacey, yes, I know from experience that it appears like a friend, but it's not, it's your worst enemy. What sort of friend would make you pour a toxic substance down your throat, then, when you regretted doing so and swore you'll stop, the 'friend' only encourages you to drink again. I discovered that the friend/enemy was my Addictive/Addict Voice - ALL it wanted was a drink, even if drinking myself to numbness, blackout, oblivion, may have one day led to my death. IT the AV didn't care, it wasn't a friend, BUT you CAN be a friend to yourself and IGNORE the AV when it comes calling......asking for drink. How? Because the AV doesn't have control of your arms, legs or mouth: you do.
Please believe me when I say, in the early days, it's so hard, torturous, but as time goes on and you gather sober days under your belt, that AV screaming at you for a drink, becomes lesser, starts to shrivel up. Once you take back the power from the AV it gets easier and if the AV starts acting like a toddler, demanding it's drink, you can easily dismiss it, because you are in control of your body.
Please keep posting, ask questions, read around SR. In a couple of days I'll have one year and two months sobriety and my life keeps improving (after a twenty year addiction - I was a slow learner..). How? Because I joined SR, read and reread the forums, posted and digested replies. You can do that too.
Please believe me when I say, in the early days, it's so hard, torturous, but as time goes on and you gather sober days under your belt, that AV screaming at you for a drink, becomes lesser, starts to shrivel up. Once you take back the power from the AV it gets easier and if the AV starts acting like a toddler, demanding it's drink, you can easily dismiss it, because you are in control of your body.
Please keep posting, ask questions, read around SR. In a couple of days I'll have one year and two months sobriety and my life keeps improving (after a twenty year addiction - I was a slow learner..). How? Because I joined SR, read and reread the forums, posted and digested replies. You can do that too.
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