Gfjml

This is my 1st post. I've spent the past 16 years of my life drinking a little or patches of drinking lots or not drinking at all. This last weekend I really realized that I NEED to stop or its gonna kill me. I am a small woman and the amount of alcohol I drank over the weekend was WAY too much. All my medical tests come back ok, but the reaction my body has to alcohol is alarming. I've stopped in the past, but its hard when you are the only sober one. My husband likes his alcohol & I love my husband and the 22 years of marriage we have. I always start back up drinking cause I'm surrounded by it. Friends, family, society. I have food intolerance that make it impossible for me to socialize over food or at a restaurant, so alcohol is my last hold to socializing. I realize based on my physical, mental, emotional reaction to alcohol, that its a problem. I know that I need my home to be my safe place. Is it OK to ask or expect my husband to not drink at home or keep alcohol at home? I'm sure every relationship has set different boundaries, but this is all new. I just don't want to be tempted, its just not worth it. Any suggestions all of you have would be greatly appreciated. I've had years of sobriety, but when I go back to alcohol, I don't limit, I indulge. I'm in a different mindset now, and I want to do this for me!

InApickle

Hello

It sounds like you on the completely right path to stopping your drinking, recognising the problem it is giving you and wanting to combat it is half the battle fought!
Personally I would ask your husband to help support you and say how worried you are about your health and fear of it killing you.

If he can't stop drinking around you then maybe ask him to go and drink his alcohol in the garden shed whilst you get used to sober life.

Good luck and take it easy!

soberandhonest

Hi Gfjml and welcome to SR. Sending support your way. I would suggest that you have an honest conversation with your spouse and then take it from there. It is most certainly not unreasonable for you to ask your husband to keep booze out of the house during early days, but I've read about spouses taking all sorts of positions on such a request and I think you just need to work it out based upon your own relationship. I'd also do your best to start to change your thinking that you start drinking again because 'I'm surrounded by it' or for socializing. You start drinking again because you make a decision to - nothing more and nothing less. There are of course circumstances and factors that make us all more likely to pick up, but ultimately only we can put that bottle or glass to our mouth and drink it. Good luck to you! We are always here for support.

Verdantia

Welcome, Gfmjl. I don't think it is at all unreasonable that you ask your husband not to drink or have alcohol in the house. This is your life that is at stake and that should be the most important thing now. Wishing you lots of strength on your sober journey.

Hevyn

Welcome, Gfjml - it's wonderful to have you with us.

In the early days of recovery it's very hard to be around it & not cave. I think you're wise to realize this. It's good that you're self-aware & realize where drinking could be leading you. I wish I'd taken action long before I did - so much misery could have been avoided.

This is a great place for encouragement & friendship - we care & want to help.

Dee74

Hi and welcome to SR GFjml

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask, but many spouses, for various reasons, say no.

Thats why it's great there's always support here at SR, or in places like AA or other recovery groups


Don;t let yourself be burdened down by thinking about the future.

I'm pretty shy and awkward but I socialise as well as I ever did - I don't need alcohol to make that socialisation happen.

sometimes I have a coke with me, sometimes not

Things have a way of working out - it'll be OK

D

Gfjml

My husband & I talked last night & we agreed on no alcohol in the house. That was the good part of the conversation. The bad part is that he doesn’t think I have a bad relationship with alcohol. In his mind all my issues I have are easily blamed on hormones. At this point he says he’s not gonna drink at all. I know he’d feel so much better if he did, but I don’t think it’s going to be a long term thing he can do. Alcohol doesn’t create as bad of a consequence for his body, yet. I would love for him to join me in being sober, but I’ve got to prepare myself for the possibility of him not being strong enough yet.
Thanks to all of you who gave me a reply & encouragement. It’s nice not feeling alone!

HTown

only we know our problems, sometimes others do not see them; but we Know. Good luck, post often, it is a great help.