Trying
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Cincy,OH.
Posts: 32
Trying
I've been dry for 3 days. I am a sneaky drinker and when I buy it I put some in my sports drink and the rest I carrying in my purse and hide it.
I drank too much in one day last week, Husband was furious about my lying. and trusting me. I'm trying to help myself, got the book by Hams, and he doesn't agree with it. He thinks there should me consequences for my behavior if I goof up. I'm trying to break this pattern of buying box wine when I go shopping. I do need help because I was escalating. I haven't lied or denied about drinking. But hes making the rules and I'm resenting them. I was drinking at home alone(worst thing you can do). but not enuff to get drunk. I opened up a beer yesterday to share with him at lunch, open and honest and he blew up. We poured it out. He said I didn't care what he thought. We've done it before???I justcried and cried.
I have a hard time with this site.
I drank too much in one day last week, Husband was furious about my lying. and trusting me. I'm trying to help myself, got the book by Hams, and he doesn't agree with it. He thinks there should me consequences for my behavior if I goof up. I'm trying to break this pattern of buying box wine when I go shopping. I do need help because I was escalating. I haven't lied or denied about drinking. But hes making the rules and I'm resenting them. I was drinking at home alone(worst thing you can do). but not enuff to get drunk. I opened up a beer yesterday to share with him at lunch, open and honest and he blew up. We poured it out. He said I didn't care what he thought. We've done it before???I justcried and cried.
I have a hard time with this site.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Edwardsc, sorry to hear you are still struggling. It's almost impossible for those who are not addicts to understand whats' going on with us, but that also doesn't excuse our behavior. For example, you say that you aren't lying about your drinking, but you are hiding it from him in your sport drink/etc. That might not be outright lying, but it's not being truthful either now is it?
How about setting some of your own rules on drinking? Have you considered seeking some local help via a doctor or cousnelor? Or maybe through a support group? Having local support can be very important, especially during the first/early stages of quitting.
How about setting some of your own rules on drinking? Have you considered seeking some local help via a doctor or cousnelor? Or maybe through a support group? Having local support can be very important, especially during the first/early stages of quitting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Done4today 
If you quit drinking completely wouldn't that solve all your problems?
It sounds pretty uncomfortable.
Are you ready to just quit and be done with all this? Then you can sort out that relationship with some clarity.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi edwards 
if you don't want you husband to be some kind of sober policeman I think you'd do well to look into meeting based support from places like AA or SMART or lifering.
The are also non meeting based approaches like Rational Recovery.
Whichever one you pick, they all can help you to take responsibility for your own recovery, be your own police, and hopefully get you to a point of acceptance where you don't resent giving up?
D
if you don't want you husband to be some kind of sober policeman I think you'd do well to look into meeting based support from places like AA or SMART or lifering.
The are also non meeting based approaches like Rational Recovery.
Whichever one you pick, they all can help you to take responsibility for your own recovery, be your own police, and hopefully get you to a point of acceptance where you don't resent giving up?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
Sober time should make everything better. With time, his trust will come back. With time you can come to believe that sobriety is not a curse but a gift.
Its hard to picture enjoying life unmedicated at first. Please stick with it, get over the hump and claim your reward
Its hard to picture enjoying life unmedicated at first. Please stick with it, get over the hump and claim your reward
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Edwardsc393
I've been dry for 3 days. I am a sneaky drinker and when I buy it I put some in my sports drink and the rest I carrying in my purse and hide it.
I drank too much in one day last week, Husband was furious about my lying. and trusting me. I'm trying to help myself, got the book by Hams, and he doesn't agree with it. He thinks there should me consequences for my behavior if I goof up. I'm trying to break this pattern of buying box wine when I go shopping. I do need help because I was escalating. I haven't lied or denied about drinking. But hes making the rules and I'm resenting them. I was drinking at home alone(worst thing you can do). but not enuff to get drunk. I opened up a beer yesterday to share with him at lunch, open and honest and he blew up. We poured it out. He said I didn't care what he thought. We've done it before???I justcried and cried.
I have a hard time with this site.
I drank too much in one day last week, Husband was furious about my lying. and trusting me. I'm trying to help myself, got the book by Hams, and he doesn't agree with it. He thinks there should me consequences for my behavior if I goof up. I'm trying to break this pattern of buying box wine when I go shopping. I do need help because I was escalating. I haven't lied or denied about drinking. But hes making the rules and I'm resenting them. I was drinking at home alone(worst thing you can do). but not enuff to get drunk. I opened up a beer yesterday to share with him at lunch, open and honest and he blew up. We poured it out. He said I didn't care what he thought. We've done it before???I justcried and cried.
I have a hard time with this site.
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