MelSober

Hello, found this site googling to find out why I am NOT losing weight but NOT drinking. I know there are other benefits- saving money, sleeping better, not thinking about cocktail hour that was coming earlier each week- I know alcohol was controlling me.

I'm sticking to this but it isn't fun yet. It isn't miserable but dealing with life and emotions without my bottle of wine can be intense. I'm glad I am emotionally more stable,but also feel disconnected and lonely. At this point I have just made this a thing I am doing for some length of time until alcohol doesn't control me anymore, but then why would I start again knowing it will take over again? I focus on what is going better and the benefits but DANG! I miss my Cabernet. I hope this lessens over time.

For background, I am a 48 year old woman, married to a nondrinker with two teen children. I'm not overweight by any stretch but my weight creeping up was shallowly the main reason I quit drinking. Vanity sobriety. I don't have stories of jail or dramatic drunk stories, I just was needing more and more wine to knock the edge off my day and that seems a bad habit. I come from a family with alcohol abuse history but functional. Maybe not having a "rock bottom" moment ( although there are forgotten moments and not attractive ones) makes it harder to turn off the switch of desire?

I am happier not drinking for a ton of reasons but part of me thinks that I will somehow be able to go back to being just a social drinker. NEVER drinking again sounds very boring to me but it is still early days I suppose. It is very annoying that I didn't drop weight, despite NOT drinking a bottle a wine a day and eating way less ( because I was a binge eater when drinking). I am a frequent intense exerciser and have been for years, however the past few months my stable weight has been ticking up. Its a bummer. Anyway, I'm glad to have a place to figure out the day to day.

Dee74

Welcome to SR MelSober

D

SimplyFree

Im glad you found us Mel. SR is a great place to work on sobriety.

HTown

It is still early yet. The benefits start to multiply and frankly with me just over a year, I will never drink again.

As for your weight, I lost 35 pounds over 6 months by limiting my carbs to 18 grams a day and eating high protein only. It kept off. Good luck

Inchworm

Welcome, Mel. I am a "functional" alcoholic, too. No drama, always sober for work, school concerts, no DUIs, etc. At some point in sobriety, though, it became very apparent in a beautiful and poignant manner that when I was drinking I was living a very limited life. I've grown up and have become wiser with sober time. All those emotions that I kept, literally, "bottled up" have been key teachers in my life. Learning to tolerate and move through the hard stuff is the golden treasure .

MelSober

Yes, they approach works, however I am vegan and don’t eat animals so low carb dieting isn’t my thing.

anxiousrock

Personally I eat more when I’m not drinking so I gained when when I quit/tried to quit.

Midwest1981

I never had a DUI or hit rock bottom either but my behavior was getting more erratic and I had gained weight too. I feel so much better without it and I don't miss it at all. At first you think life will be boring without drinking but I found so many new interests I don't miss drinking at all. Really drinking was boring for me. I wasted way to many days sitting in front of the tv on the couch. Also drinking heavily is bad for women. Increases risk of breast cancer etc. I think that scared me too.

Alcoholism is progressive. I don't know if you are one or not.

MelSober

I do need to figure out more things to do for sure, especially in the evening. There are so many GREAT reasons to quit ( money savings, reduced risk of disease, etc.) but STILL, I want it. I am not drinking, but the days are few that I haven't spent some time rationalizing that I really could do it and it would be no big deal. But it isn't making life better for me! Ugh.

Dee74

I thought not drinking would make my life instantly better too - but it didn't work out like that for me either Mel

what being sober did give me was a kind of level playing field to work from, so I could work out what I wanted my life to look like and how I might get to there from here.

Took a little time and patience, and some effort, but it was worth it

Hang in there

D

Stayingsassy

I always get fat in sobriety unless I’m super careful with my eating, I can get away with more eating when drinking. Metabolism slows in early sobriety and you start absorbing all those fats and carbs. ‘‘Tis what it is.

I’d never quit drinking for vanity’s sake. I quit drinking because it was time, not because I might look better. Don’t get me wrong I’m super vain. I just didn’t quit drinking for that.

My skin sure looks better already though. More radiant. And my weight has leveled off. Yeah I have to watch my carbs more carefully but oh well. Self discipline never hurt anyone.

I’m also 48 by the way. Looking forward to a wise and peaceful old age, putting the crazies, the bars, the need to look perfect, the constant need to attract men all the time, the excessive drinking behind me to give my life some meaning and poignancy it doesn’t have with alcohol in it. Don’t get me wrong I’ll do it looking good! I’m just going to do this aging thing without the drunken party girl identity i keep dragging along with me.

D122y

Mel,

I quit being a drunk for good at 50. Things were getting bad.

Physical and mental health.

Now I am real clean. But, through poor eating choices i have borderline hypertension.

I decided when I quit to eat clean, that worked. My bp was very low.

I quit coffee for a while too.

Then I decided to go low sugar high protein. But, I forgot to watch the sodium.

Mistake.

Now I am back to no coffee and watching the sugar and sodium.

Thanks.

MelSober

That makes me feel better. That is interesting about the metabolism and does make a good deal of sense! Today is the first time I have felt like I could do this for longer than just a "while". I am not saying I won't EVER but it feels more hopeful that I could. Especially if I don't want to go through another metabolism "repair" stint. My weight is starting to level off and drop a little too and it has only been 2 and a half weeks so there's hope in my vain shallow heart. Hehe.