Sober and living alone
 

Hi all,

I have only just joined this forum. I was reading the comments earlier on living alone whilst dealing with sobriety. I am on my 23rd day and have to admit it is bloody tough being in my place alone at times.
Having said that, it can be tough out and about with people around as well.
I am hanging in there but seemed to waiting for some miracle that I know just wont happen.
Can anyone relate?

I live with my partner, but in the early months of sobriety I still felt isolated. Well, alternatally isolated and irritated lol.

Why not check out the AA meetings in your area? It can make a big difference having somewhere to go for an hour in the evenings. Besides, one of the HALTS (most common) triggers for alcoholics is Lonely. We need to take steps to avoid that. The others from that anacronym are Hungry Angry Lonely Tired Sick (I also consider Hormonal , Thirsty and Scared to be pretty relevant to me, and a number of my friends). If nothing else, please stay mindful of those triggers and plan to avoid them, and act to erase them when they inevitably do rear their sorry heads and rattle you.

Please do not sit about waiting for mirales. I tried that and almost sent myself insane. The sobriety fairy never does not fly over and sprinkle any of us with recovery dust. We have to work at this recovery malarky if we hope to feel the benefits. Dee has a great thread on making a plan which has some great links and information on it. I'd suggest that you make a plan for your recovery. Just taking alcohol out and not doing something to fill that void and replace that crutch really will leave you very restless, irritable and discontent. Then, once self-pity creeps in, resentments pile up, and before you know it a drink seems like the one and only solution - which just isn't the case in reality. It's like a domino effect.

This is the link for Dee's making a plan thread... https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html

Please keep reading and posting. This forum can be such a lifeline.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB

I’d definitely be trying to get out and about a bit in the evenings if I lived alone. For my personality type, I’d hang out at coffee shops and the public library or maybe take a class in something new. I also like to exercise so I’d do some of that too. Good luck and nice one on 23 days😀

Hi David :)

I drank alone and I got sober alone. Things got better for me the longer I didn't drink and the more connections I made in the real world.

The miracle, for me, is that I don't drink anymore...I think expecting a new life to also fall into my lap was pushing it.

I think we need to work a little on building a sober life we love. I had to work on the underlying things I used to drink over....anger, boredom, self esteem, whatever...and I also had to learn to face life sober.

I had to find new ways of having fun and new people to have fun with.

It took a while for everything to fall into place but anything good is worth waiting for.

You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here - welcome :)

D

I can sympathize. I live alone and am an introvert so being around people can be just as lonely as being alone a lot of the time. If you do go out, make sure you aren't tempted. I rarely go out and my last out and about landed me in a lot of trouble. I feel like I am in limbo right now. Maybe what you are feeling although I know things aren't going to be miraculously ok. I am doing whatever I know to do day by day and hoping every tomorrow I can do a little more to change my life around. Reading here helps too.
Best wishes to you :hug:

Welcome! This is a very tough time! You are doing great with 23 days! I posted here every morning to start the day with a reminder of who I am and I can't drink or I will die and be miserable all the way there! Best wishes for you on your journey.

Welcome, David. You aren't alone on SR.

I am alone as well. I find I am OK with it. I like the peace in my life that comes along with it.

I live alone too.
I can relate to what you say, but one good thing about it is at least I don't have to live with the stuff in my house and if I am out with drinkers, I can leave them anytime I choose and go home. I'm 2+ months sober and I think it helped in the early days. I never could seem to give up drinking when I was married, seeing my ex drink, just triggered me.

How’s it going David? I’ve actually found getting involved in the SR community to be really helpful. The beauty of SR being you can come and go as you please but the support is always here if you need it. To be honest, this has been my main lifeline the last 50 days getting sober. My wife is supportive of my desire to quit but she doesn’t understand. Take care man🙂

I don’t live alone, but am alone. My saying is “alone is only lonely if you expect someone to be there”. For me it’s all about setting the correct expectations.

Welcome to SR, David! I'm glad you found us here. I'm sorry if you're going through a tough patch but it will get better. For me living alone isn't a big problem since I like my privacy, and in early sobriety better to be by yourself if those close to you would tempt you to drink.