determined to change
 

Hi all

As many others on here, I found this forum whilst googling my alcohol problem. I am determined to give up drinking after another night where I was completely out of control, embarrassing myself in front of people in the small town I live in by being black-out drunk again. I spent most of the day yesterday wishing I wasn't even here anymore and today is not much better. I have acknowledged I have a problem before and tried AA but it wasn't right for me. I don't drink on a daily basis but when i do drink, it can often go wrong.

I am getting married next year and I want to be a good wife, a good mother and a good person. Not someone stumbling from bar to bar on their own on a Saturday night.

I am just so incredibly jealous reading your posts and wanting to live my life sober. I know that this is the only way I will be truly happy.

Any advice or support is needed, feeling down at rock bottom at the moment.

Thank you.
RM

Welcome to SR😀 I’ve found posting here frequently has been quite useful for getting sober. I’m also seeing a therapist. Good luck!

Welcome to SR. Lots of support and inspiration here. And lots of people in the same position as you. Many of us have done things we are subsequently embarrassed about because of excessive alcohol consumption. I got blackout drunk on Saturday afternoon and have no recollection of what I did or said. That is history and cannot be rewritten. What matters is what we do from now. We all have a chance to change our destiny and write a better future. If the title of your post is accurate, that is a huge step. Determination and change. Both challenging. But both essential. Don't worry too much about what other people think. Do it for yourself. Good luck and stay determined.

Hi rubymay :)

You'll find a lot of drinkers here, and various types of drinkers too.

I ended up an all day everyday drinker but I can certainly relate to not being able to stop when I started.

If drinking is causing problem in your life it makes sense to quit.

You'll find a lot of understanding and support here :)

welcome :)

I'd been to AA (both ordered and voluntary) before and decided "it wasn't for me" as well.

Things got worse and worse for me from the point at which you seem to be....

Eventually, I decided that continued despair and awfulness, continued ruination of my life, continued descent down the black hole of addiction was what "wasn't for me".

At that point, I went back to AA with an openness to see what if could offer me as part of my journey to a sober, happy, grateful, joyous and present life.

I'm not an "AA" in the classic sense... but without AA's in-person support, the big book, the guidance, the fellowship and the lessons I was able to glean from it as part of my toolkit I would definitely not have attained sobriety.

And here I am today; happy, sober, grateful, joyous, present and free in a life that is far and away better than my life with drinking and drugs ever was.

:grouphug:

I'm an ex binge drinker myself. Like you, it got out of hand. I never knew what I would end up doing and I ended up doing plenty of things that I am deeply ashamed of.
I'm 2+ months sober now and I still take it a day at a time. Every morning and evening I make another 24hr commitment to myself that I will not drink, I can manage 1 day without it, I don't look any further forward than that.
I also post and read here on SR daily, it helps a lot. If your struggling, reach out here, there is always someone here and we will all help you.

Hello and welcome! So glad you found us!

I was like you, a binger. I don't do AA but I do work a plan everyday.

Hand out here, educate yourself and make a plan and use our support when you need it.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, make it the best it can be!

Welcome, rubymay.

AA wasn't for me until it was. Up until that point I had been to a few meetings, all in the mental a hospital I was locked up in, and it all went over my head. I really didn't think what they were talking about applied to me. They called it psychosis, an inability to see the truth.

So while I went to AA, I never tried AA as in trying to apply the solution contained in the program. Later on, the booze had opened my mind a bit, and I did try AA, and like most people who sincerely try to work the program, I made a full and permanent recovery.

Welcome to SR RubyMay! Your will find lots of support here. You should join the October of 2017 Class, you will have the support of others who have also committed or recommitted to sobriety this month.

Also, check in on the 24 hour thread each day, it's a great place to commit to sobriety for the next 24 hours, and also to meet a wonderful group of people.

Looking forward to seeing you on SR!

Welcome RubyMay. Im new here too but I will say I found alot of support. I have always known that there are alot of people like me but it hits home when I can actually talk to them. Best of luck to you. We are here for each other.