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Having a hard time lately.

Old 10-21-2017, 03:06 PM
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Samantha
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Having a hard time lately.

I was doing really well for a couple of months but then it all fell through.
Iím having a hard time staying sober and I really want to.
I feel depressed and anxious from blacking out. Iím sad because I failed. Same old same old.
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Old 10-21-2017, 03:24 PM
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Welcome back Anarock,
I know the feeling all too well. I absolutely hate the feeling of awakening the morning after a blackout. It turned into my own personal hell.

You have not failed though. You want to stay sober thats a big part. Get back up on the horse. You can do this.
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Old 10-21-2017, 03:29 PM
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Samantha
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Thank you. I have been trying so hard and it always comes back to this. I feel horrible. This is why I wanted to stop.
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Old 10-21-2017, 03:33 PM
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Sometimes it takes alot of Day 1's to eventually get to the point where you have had enough. Don't get down on yourself. There will be a final Day 1 where you have really made the committment to stop drinking for good. Keep trying and making better recovery plans. You can do this!
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Old 10-21-2017, 03:38 PM
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Samantha
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Originally Posted by ChloeRose63 View Post
Sometimes it takes alot of Day 1's to eventually get to the point where you have had enough. Don't get down on yourself. There will be a final Day 1 where you have really made the committment to stop drinking for good. Keep trying and making better recovery plans. You can do this!
Iíve had so many day ones. I honestly hate this and I donít want to keep starting over. I want to be better. Itís so depressing to know this disease is beating me.
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Old 10-21-2017, 03:40 PM
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It always comes back to this for me too. I kept convincing myself that I can drink and get away with it but in my heart I know the truth.

If I stay sober then I wont have to try and get sober again. But it is difficult since I have not been sober the majority of my life. At this point I just gotta try to make it to bed tonight sober.

I can deal with tomorrow when it gets here.
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Old 10-21-2017, 03:51 PM
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Samantha
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Originally Posted by LastDrop View Post
It always comes back to this for me too. I kept convincing myself that I can drink and get away with it but in my heart I know the truth.

If I stay sober then I wont have to try and get sober again. But it is difficult since I have not been sober the majority of my life. At this point I just gotta try to make it to bed tonight sober.

I can deal with tomorrow when it gets here.
Thatís exactly how I feel right now.
I hate blackouts. I hate knowing I messed up.
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Old 10-21-2017, 04:33 PM
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Hi Anarock

what exactly were you doing to stay sober? did you have a plan?

D
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Old 10-21-2017, 04:47 PM
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Samantha
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At first I was going to AA 3 times and week and then I stopped going. Relapsed close after.
I know I need to keep going but Iíve been so busy.
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