Back to square 1. Withdrawl subsided and now I'm so bored
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 7
Back to square 1. Withdrawl subsided and now I'm so bored
I posted here a couple of months ago and needless to say it all went pair shaped again. I've never been a spirit person or drank every day but once I start I can't stop.
So last week my ex wife and Co dependent rings me who I've not spoken to in months feeding me some bull about one of my keeps being on the brink of suicide. I'd already been on one for 2 days at this point and went round and it lasted a further 4 days. I missed work got the sack and pushed my parents one step closer to either a breakdown or death. I've promised to make changes now and I honestly am staring with AA. I'm 3 days sober now and the boredom is killing me. It doesn't help I can't really leave the house as my parents would just think I was lying about wherever I said I was going to go get drink but I don't blame them for that whatsoever.
I'm just so bored I could die. Will this ever get better ???
So last week my ex wife and Co dependent rings me who I've not spoken to in months feeding me some bull about one of my keeps being on the brink of suicide. I'd already been on one for 2 days at this point and went round and it lasted a further 4 days. I missed work got the sack and pushed my parents one step closer to either a breakdown or death. I've promised to make changes now and I honestly am staring with AA. I'm 3 days sober now and the boredom is killing me. It doesn't help I can't really leave the house as my parents would just think I was lying about wherever I said I was going to go get drink but I don't blame them for that whatsoever.
I'm just so bored I could die. Will this ever get better ???
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Yes. That feeling will end and life can change into something better than you can now imagine, but it takes commitment and work. Your body is going through so much hell in the beginning that drinking seems the only way out of the madness, but drinking is just another ticket on the merry-go-round. Hang in there. Learn from those who have come out the the other side. The only way out is through. The end result will be more than worth it and you can then help someone suffering as you are now, and hopefully with better words than I have just offered.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
A good stretch of Sobriety was what put some distance between my old life and the new life I was trying to create for myself.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, but we gotta do everything in our power to stay Sober long enough to taste some of the good stuff, the benefits, the improvements in our life.
You can do this, get a plan in place and keep moving forward!!
There is light at the end of the tunnel, but we gotta do everything in our power to stay Sober long enough to taste some of the good stuff, the benefits, the improvements in our life.
You can do this, get a plan in place and keep moving forward!!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Just,
Boredom equals crave.
The AV will try all angles to get you to slip and relapse.
I believe flu like symptoms are withdrawels.
When they go away, you are clean and healing.
Healing takes years.
Some come here regretting relapse after 5 or more years.
The AV is patient.
I'm coming up on 2 months after a tbls of cognac reset my clock.
Before that I had 14 months clean before a shot of wisky upset 13 months clean.
I am not counting days...I am living clean.
I only reset my clock for accounting and honesty.
Once a pickle never a cucumber.
Being clean is how we were designed.
Routine ingestion of fermented liquids is bad for our body and brain.
Thanks.
Boredom equals crave.
The AV will try all angles to get you to slip and relapse.
I believe flu like symptoms are withdrawels.
When they go away, you are clean and healing.
Healing takes years.
Some come here regretting relapse after 5 or more years.
The AV is patient.
I'm coming up on 2 months after a tbls of cognac reset my clock.
Before that I had 14 months clean before a shot of wisky upset 13 months clean.
I am not counting days...I am living clean.
I only reset my clock for accounting and honesty.
Once a pickle never a cucumber.
Being clean is how we were designed.
Routine ingestion of fermented liquids is bad for our body and brain.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 7
Thanks for the replies. I remember once hearing George Best say he stopped for 11 months. For no reason other than he'd received an award he decided to have a drink. He didn't stop drinking for 20 days solid
That would be me that that. Think I'm at the anger stage **** sakes !!!
That would be me that that. Think I'm at the anger stage **** sakes !!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I spent the first months at home bouncing between shame, self-pity, denial, anger, and... like you say... boredom. It worried me as I started realising just how dependent I'd been on alcohol to just feel 'normal'. For my entertainment. To stop me feeling lonely (even when I was around other people I felt alone). To stop the feelings of 'not-enoughness' (yes I know that's not a word, but it was very real - and still can be when I don't work on my program or two or more of the HALT triggers are rattling me).
Anyway. I started to realise how much I relied on it. I was going insane. So insane that I went to an AA meeting in the hope they could tell me I wasn't a real alcoholic so I could get back to my drinking. Lol.
Of course, they didn't tell me any such thing. But they did tell me some other stuff that turned out to be useful some of which I didn't really 'get' straight away with my washing-machine head on full spin.
1) They told me "the natural state of an alcoholic when they remove alcohol but haven't worked on their recovery is being RESTLESS, IRRITABLE, and DISCONTENT. " That one I DID get. It made a lot of sense. It was helpful to me to have had someone pinpoint what that 'bored-but-not-bored' (as I'd been calling it to myself) was. And very helpful to know that it's a thing, and that it will pass (I kinda ignored the bit about having to work on my recovery though, which was to cause me problems further down the line, anyway, first things first.)
2) They also told me about the HALTS triggers. What they are and to avoid them t all costs, and get rid of them as soon as they pop up if possible.
Some of these are: Hunger. Hormonal. Anger. Lonliness. Tired. Thirsty. Sick.
3) Keep it in the day. Ie. try not to let your mind go swishing around in the past or jump ahead to the future. "If you have one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow, you're gonna **** all over today." (Mindfulness AA Old-Timer style for you there lol - not kidding you though, that guy has helped me understand a lot these past three years, even if his delivery is a little abrupt.) This applies especially to thoughts about sobriety. The notion of staying sober forever is just tooooo much to think about at first. Just focus on the day you're in. When you wake up tomorrow, do the same. And the next day, etc.
4) Don't expect it to be fun at first. Unfortunately, there would never be a time when you wake up and that will be the day that getting sober will be, painless, easy and fun. NEVER. None of the folk on here had an easy first few months (although bits of it was okay). None of the folk you can meet at an AA meeting will have either, because the nature of it is that it's a bit hard. A bit horrible. It's not the kind of instant-gratification that us alcoholics are used to unfortunately. But it is possible. You can do this.
I hope you do get along to some meetings. Sitting about doesn't really help, and our heads can be pretty upleasant places to hang out in those early days. If you look at the steps of AA you will see that alcohol is only even mentioned in step 1. The rest are all about learning to live comfortably in sobriety so that it can be sustainable, and so that our existance will not be miserable and joyless. We don't have to live restless, irritable and discontent. We can learn to change that. But it does involve working on our recovery and it isn's a quick fix.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery and continued sobriety.
BB
Anyway. I started to realise how much I relied on it. I was going insane. So insane that I went to an AA meeting in the hope they could tell me I wasn't a real alcoholic so I could get back to my drinking. Lol.
Of course, they didn't tell me any such thing. But they did tell me some other stuff that turned out to be useful some of which I didn't really 'get' straight away with my washing-machine head on full spin.
1) They told me "the natural state of an alcoholic when they remove alcohol but haven't worked on their recovery is being RESTLESS, IRRITABLE, and DISCONTENT. " That one I DID get. It made a lot of sense. It was helpful to me to have had someone pinpoint what that 'bored-but-not-bored' (as I'd been calling it to myself) was. And very helpful to know that it's a thing, and that it will pass (I kinda ignored the bit about having to work on my recovery though, which was to cause me problems further down the line, anyway, first things first.)
2) They also told me about the HALTS triggers. What they are and to avoid them t all costs, and get rid of them as soon as they pop up if possible.
Some of these are: Hunger. Hormonal. Anger. Lonliness. Tired. Thirsty. Sick.
3) Keep it in the day. Ie. try not to let your mind go swishing around in the past or jump ahead to the future. "If you have one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow, you're gonna **** all over today." (Mindfulness AA Old-Timer style for you there lol - not kidding you though, that guy has helped me understand a lot these past three years, even if his delivery is a little abrupt.) This applies especially to thoughts about sobriety. The notion of staying sober forever is just tooooo much to think about at first. Just focus on the day you're in. When you wake up tomorrow, do the same. And the next day, etc.
4) Don't expect it to be fun at first. Unfortunately, there would never be a time when you wake up and that will be the day that getting sober will be, painless, easy and fun. NEVER. None of the folk on here had an easy first few months (although bits of it was okay). None of the folk you can meet at an AA meeting will have either, because the nature of it is that it's a bit hard. A bit horrible. It's not the kind of instant-gratification that us alcoholics are used to unfortunately. But it is possible. You can do this.
I hope you do get along to some meetings. Sitting about doesn't really help, and our heads can be pretty upleasant places to hang out in those early days. If you look at the steps of AA you will see that alcohol is only even mentioned in step 1. The rest are all about learning to live comfortably in sobriety so that it can be sustainable, and so that our existance will not be miserable and joyless. We don't have to live restless, irritable and discontent. We can learn to change that. But it does involve working on our recovery and it isn's a quick fix.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery and continued sobriety.
BB
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Boredom is a good time to make a long list of all the things you've ever imagined or could ever imagine trying SOBER.
We lived a lot of our lives in a bottle. Avoiding things that didn't have to do with drinking.
How can we possibly be 'bored' in this incredible life and world that offers literally LIMITLESS opportunity to experience?
We have a short blip of existence and we limit ourselves sorely with the concept of 'boredom'. Bored?
Bored when there are moments to experience, things to see, feelings to feel, lessons to learn.....
Make a list of things you might like to try or do. Then every time you try to tell yourself "I'm bored" - go do them.
Boredom is a lie. It's not YOU who is bored. It's your addictive voice having a whinge. It wants to get drunk. It's only "entertainment" is to get lit up by alcohol and ruin your life. But YOU.... the REAL YOU.... you are a spirit that is enlivened by experiences much simpler, purer and more joyful than that.
It's raining. I'm bored.
So go outside and run around in the rain without a raincoat and let the rain run off your face and roll around in the grass. EXPERIENCE IT!!!
There's nothing to do. I'm bored.
So now is a good time to pick up that guitar that's been sitting round gathering dust.
Or go down to the local library and learn about that hobby you've long postponed getting started on.
Or take the dog for a walk or go for a run or learn a new skill or just walk down the street looking for someone who might need a hand with something and then hop right in and help them and receive the bountiful rewards of being of service.
I'm bored.
Go to an AA meeting.
I'm bored.
Hit the gym.
I'm bored.
Learn to draw.
I'm bored.
Write a poem.
I'm bored.
Dance like a lunatic.
I'm bored.
Phone a friend for coffee.
I'm bored.
Jump in a river with your clothes on just because you can.
I'm bored.
Volunteer at a local charity.
I'm bored.
Do some exercise.
I'm board.
Go fishing.
I'm bored.
As your parents to play a card game.
I'm bored.
Gather flowers for your mum.
I'm bored.
Walk backward down the street and note how different things are when walking backward than when walking forward.
I'm bored.
Plan a camping trip.
I'm bored.
Go on a hike.
I'm bored.
Go to a toy store, buy a yo-yo, learn yo-yo tricks.
I'm bored.
Try your hand at busking.
I'm bored.
Make and fly paper airplanes.
I'm bored.
Learn to fly real, actual airplanes.
I'm bored.
Schedule a sky diving jump.
I'm bored.
NONSENSE. Boredom is a lie!!!!!
We lived a lot of our lives in a bottle. Avoiding things that didn't have to do with drinking.
How can we possibly be 'bored' in this incredible life and world that offers literally LIMITLESS opportunity to experience?
We have a short blip of existence and we limit ourselves sorely with the concept of 'boredom'. Bored?
Bored when there are moments to experience, things to see, feelings to feel, lessons to learn.....
Make a list of things you might like to try or do. Then every time you try to tell yourself "I'm bored" - go do them.
Boredom is a lie. It's not YOU who is bored. It's your addictive voice having a whinge. It wants to get drunk. It's only "entertainment" is to get lit up by alcohol and ruin your life. But YOU.... the REAL YOU.... you are a spirit that is enlivened by experiences much simpler, purer and more joyful than that.
It's raining. I'm bored.
So go outside and run around in the rain without a raincoat and let the rain run off your face and roll around in the grass. EXPERIENCE IT!!!
There's nothing to do. I'm bored.
So now is a good time to pick up that guitar that's been sitting round gathering dust.
Or go down to the local library and learn about that hobby you've long postponed getting started on.
Or take the dog for a walk or go for a run or learn a new skill or just walk down the street looking for someone who might need a hand with something and then hop right in and help them and receive the bountiful rewards of being of service.
I'm bored.
Go to an AA meeting.
I'm bored.
Hit the gym.
I'm bored.
Learn to draw.
I'm bored.
Write a poem.
I'm bored.
Dance like a lunatic.
I'm bored.
Phone a friend for coffee.
I'm bored.
Jump in a river with your clothes on just because you can.
I'm bored.
Volunteer at a local charity.
I'm bored.
Do some exercise.
I'm board.
Go fishing.
I'm bored.
As your parents to play a card game.
I'm bored.
Gather flowers for your mum.
I'm bored.
Walk backward down the street and note how different things are when walking backward than when walking forward.
I'm bored.
Plan a camping trip.
I'm bored.
Go on a hike.
I'm bored.
Go to a toy store, buy a yo-yo, learn yo-yo tricks.
I'm bored.
Try your hand at busking.
I'm bored.
Make and fly paper airplanes.
I'm bored.
Learn to fly real, actual airplanes.
I'm bored.
Schedule a sky diving jump.
I'm bored.
NONSENSE. Boredom is a lie!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,742
Yes, I was thinking along the lines of FreeOwl.
When feeling bored, you could also ask yourself, "If I weren't feeling bored, I would....." Fill in the blank.... Climb a mountain? Write a book? Swim the English Channel? Have fun with it. Sometimes a sense of humor can unlock creative ideas.
When feeling bored, you could also ask yourself, "If I weren't feeling bored, I would....." Fill in the blank.... Climb a mountain? Write a book? Swim the English Channel? Have fun with it. Sometimes a sense of humor can unlock creative ideas.
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