Relapsed and spiralling.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,424
Hi Akasha 
I only did meth once. It didn't nothing for me, but the come down was so bad I never did it again, so I empathise.
Things will get better tho if you stay off the drug. The panic will subside and hopefully you'll be able to imagine life without it.
There is life after addiction - and however scary it might seem, you won't be alone here on SR
D
I only did meth once. It didn't nothing for me, but the come down was so bad I never did it again, so I empathise.
Things will get better tho if you stay off the drug. The panic will subside and hopefully you'll be able to imagine life without it.
There is life after addiction - and however scary it might seem, you won't be alone here on SR
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi Akasha
I only did meth once. It didn't nothing for me, but the come down was so bad I never did it again, so I empathise.
Things will get better tho if you stay off the drug. The panic will subside and hopefully you'll be able to imagine life without it.
There is life after addiction - and however scary it might seem, you won't be alone here on SR
D
I only did meth once. It didn't nothing for me, but the come down was so bad I never did it again, so I empathise.
Things will get better tho if you stay off the drug. The panic will subside and hopefully you'll be able to imagine life without it.
There is life after addiction - and however scary it might seem, you won't be alone here on SR
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 132
Originally Posted by Akasha
Where will I find the courage to successfully fight off all the urges, all the cravings, all the excuses
Good luck.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
You are likely going to need to tell someone what's going on that can help you Akasha. Whether it's a doctor, a priest, a help line....you won't be able to think or talk yourself out of this. Most of us have been there....and we know it's not fun. And yes there will be repurcussions....but that's all part of it. Who could you coal do you think?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
I woke up thinking about you Akasha, I hope you stuck with it and didn't call for anymore. I know you were having a hard time. This is to be expected, it is not going to be easy but it has to be done. You knew this was no going to be easy or pleasant from the get go. Use that knowledge to your advantage. I think it really helps when you recognise what is going on and call it out. Just keep thinking in your head "this is par for the course, this is what happens when you come down from meth, this is unpleasant, yes (to say the least!) but it is normal"
While I agree with Scott's sentiments that calling someone really is a good idea, I don't think it is fair to tell someone that they "can't do it" You may very well be able to do this alone, you sure seemed determined to. However, I do agree that reaching out to someone, anyone will make this a bit easier to get through. I also want to make sure you know how crucial it is you call for help if things get out of control. Again, I really don't know what it is like to come down from meth, but if you are getting violent or dangerous you need help. If you really find that you can't do this alone that is no reason to just keep using to ward off the bad feelings, rather that is the sign you need to call for help. Whether that be any of the people Scott listed or checking out an out-patient addiction center or even, if it come down to it, involving your family and getting to rehab.
While I agree with Scott's sentiments that calling someone really is a good idea, I don't think it is fair to tell someone that they "can't do it" You may very well be able to do this alone, you sure seemed determined to. However, I do agree that reaching out to someone, anyone will make this a bit easier to get through. I also want to make sure you know how crucial it is you call for help if things get out of control. Again, I really don't know what it is like to come down from meth, but if you are getting violent or dangerous you need help. If you really find that you can't do this alone that is no reason to just keep using to ward off the bad feelings, rather that is the sign you need to call for help. Whether that be any of the people Scott listed or checking out an out-patient addiction center or even, if it come down to it, involving your family and getting to rehab.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
I woke up thinking about you Akasha, I hope you stuck with it and didn't call for anymore. I know you were having a hard time. This is to be expected, it is not going to be easy but it has to be done. You knew this was no going to be easy or pleasant from the get go. Use that knowledge to your advantage. I think it really helps when you recognise what is going on and call it out. Just keep thinking in your head "this is par for the course, this is what happens when you come down from meth, this is unpleasant, yes (to say the least!) but it is normal"
While I agree with Scott's sentiments that calling someone really is a good idea, I don't think it is fair to tell someone that they "can't do it" You may very well be able to do this alone, you sure seemed determined to. However, I do agree that reaching out to someone, anyone will make this a bit easier to get through. I also want to make sure you know how crucial it is you call for help if things get out of control. Again, I really don't know what it is like to come down from meth, but if you are getting violent or dangerous you need help. If you really find that you can't do this alone that is no reason to just keep using to ward off the bad feelings, rather that is the sign you need to call for help. Whether that be any of the people Scott listed or checking out an out-patient addiction center or even, if it come down to it, involving your family and getting to rehab.
While I agree with Scott's sentiments that calling someone really is a good idea, I don't think it is fair to tell someone that they "can't do it" You may very well be able to do this alone, you sure seemed determined to. However, I do agree that reaching out to someone, anyone will make this a bit easier to get through. I also want to make sure you know how crucial it is you call for help if things get out of control. Again, I really don't know what it is like to come down from meth, but if you are getting violent or dangerous you need help. If you really find that you can't do this alone that is no reason to just keep using to ward off the bad feelings, rather that is the sign you need to call for help. Whether that be any of the people Scott listed or checking out an out-patient addiction center or even, if it come down to it, involving your family and getting to rehab.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Hang in there Akasha. Better days are coming. Stay strong and reach out to people if you need to. Glad you are sticking with SR. Try to look at it this way; you'll never have to go through this again. Do whatever you need to do to not use. You will wake up tomorrow feeling good that you did it. Stay strong. John
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi Akasha, just checking in on you. I hope your silence doesn't indicate the worst. If it does, we are here for you when you are ready to come back. But you may very well be resting, I hope that is the case. Best wishes to you whatever is going on.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Good morning Akasha, how are things there?
I was thinking about something you said earlier, about how you signed a contract stating that if you use again you will be reported to the authorities. I just can't imagine how this is helping you in any way, it is currently preventing you from reaching out for the help you need. I do, from the other side of the fence here- that of a clean mind- think that you are going to be much better off if YOU are the one who steps forward and ask for help instead of getting yourself into a position where you are forced into something. You are going to come across and a big, smart, strong person who is capable of and wants to get better if you reach out for help. If you "get caught" and then are dumped off to the authorities and into rehab it is going to be and look much worse. Your family will think that you never had any intention of getting better and are of little hope. That's not fair, because you have come here, stating your desire to change and to get out of this, but it is the way it will look to outsiders who have not experienced addiction themselves. If you step up and get some help now- even if privately, without your family knowing- at least when that time comes (for it will come if you keep using) you have a paper trail of sorts showing your good will and efforts to do something about this. That can only be a good thing.
I don't want to upset you or push your buttons here, but I do want to try and gently open your eyes. A full on meth addiction is not something you can hide from people forever, especially those close to you. You say they are already starting to pick up on things but you have brushed it off to school stress, the flu, etc. There are only so many excuses you can make. Time to get some help, no? Can you at least think about that some?
I was thinking about something you said earlier, about how you signed a contract stating that if you use again you will be reported to the authorities. I just can't imagine how this is helping you in any way, it is currently preventing you from reaching out for the help you need. I do, from the other side of the fence here- that of a clean mind- think that you are going to be much better off if YOU are the one who steps forward and ask for help instead of getting yourself into a position where you are forced into something. You are going to come across and a big, smart, strong person who is capable of and wants to get better if you reach out for help. If you "get caught" and then are dumped off to the authorities and into rehab it is going to be and look much worse. Your family will think that you never had any intention of getting better and are of little hope. That's not fair, because you have come here, stating your desire to change and to get out of this, but it is the way it will look to outsiders who have not experienced addiction themselves. If you step up and get some help now- even if privately, without your family knowing- at least when that time comes (for it will come if you keep using) you have a paper trail of sorts showing your good will and efforts to do something about this. That can only be a good thing.
I don't want to upset you or push your buttons here, but I do want to try and gently open your eyes. A full on meth addiction is not something you can hide from people forever, especially those close to you. You say they are already starting to pick up on things but you have brushed it off to school stress, the flu, etc. There are only so many excuses you can make. Time to get some help, no? Can you at least think about that some?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
I think going back to rehab is your best option at this point. You have to want recovery for yourself and not for your family. Worry about taking care of yourself and try not to worry so much about others. No matter how many times you fall, all that matters is that you continue to get up and keep trying.
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