Mandy73

Would love to say that I'm doing really well and learning to enjoy my new sober lifestyle. Some days it's easier to say that than others.

I'm feeling very anxious. I have tremendous stress in my life above and beyond what would be considered the normal everyday stuff.

I drove past the liquor store today, didn't go in, toyed with the idea.

I just keep thinking I desperately want some relief from the stress and way I'm feeling.

I don't want a hangover. Just wish things were different I sure didn't sign up for everything that's been thrown my way.

Sigh , came here to vent 😁

Gabe1980

Hi Mandy. I get where you are coming from. It's tough going managing stress and anxiety, especially when drinking was your main way of coping. Im still in the early stages figuring this stuff out but long walks, swimming and meditation have been helping me over the last few weeks. I hope things start to get easier for you 😊

Anna

Mandy, I'm sorry that things are tough right now. Can you take some time this evening to relax, listen to some music, read, watch a movie? I hope you feel better tomorrow.

Mandy73

I decided to go ahead and take some anti anxiety medication I was prescribed. It's never my first choice. I really don't like taking pills and will avoid at all costs but I really felt this was one of those times where I was in need or risk my sobriety.

I've never once taken medication and drank alcohol in all the years I've been drinking so I at least know now that I've taken something I won't drink tonight and will hopefully have some relief , even if just short term. And no hangover.

I hang on another day. Thank you

Linners820

Aww. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I'm a fan of passionflower tea and epsom salt baths to relax and try to de-stress.
Hope the medication helps you some.

Dee74

Hi Mandy
sorry you're stressed - can you do anything about any of the stress at all?

D

Mandy73

Thanks Dee,

I think that is a part of what was upsetting me today too. Yesterday morning I mustered up the guts to make a call to my Dr office . The secretary lines were busy so I was asked to leave a message. I told them I was calling because I would like to make an appointment with my dr for a referral to counselling through our mental health services. Typically you get a call back within a few hours. No one called me back. It made me feel stupid and embarrassed and dismissed. It's possible I suppose there is a reasonable explanation but I was really feeling down and just wanted to start the process of getting myself some help. I think the least they could have done, especially when someone is calling in need of mental health services, is to return the call. I was anxious waiting on it and now I have to go through that anxiety again and call them back next week.
I'm doing the best I can but I have 4 children with special needs, 2 severe autism, and one this week that was in complete bipolar psychosis and crisis. It's very difficult to relax, to have support when others don't understand, or care. It's isolating. And of course on top of all of this I'm newly sober. Im really feeling overwhelmed with everything and trying to help all of my children with their varying needs. It's just too much

Dee74

I'm sorry you didn't get a call back - maybe it was a busy afternoon, maybe the message got lost, maybe the staff aren't as competent as they should be...I'd call again (and again) as many times as you need to get a response.

Are there any friends or family, or support groups, that might help you share the load?

D

Mandy73

I unfortunately don't have friends and family that help out in any capacity. My mother was always a good support but she passed away. I have my husband who is wonderful, he is certainly feeling the strain. And that's why I made the call to see what resources we have here, one on one counselling, family counselling, I'm totally open to it because I really need help and advice dealing with all of this. I don't know what I doing. This was an especially bad week with my son, living with someone with a severe mental illness is so hard. I've been trying to read what I can to educate myself, trying to find support groups. I used to drink and it all didn't seem so difficult, and I didn't care as much about the loneliness. Being sober has opened me up raw it feels like if that makes sense.
I will keep calling, I desperately just want someone to talk to.

sobersolstice

I'm not in your situation, but I just had a conversations with someone about wanting to drink, and asked me what would happen if I did.

Of course, things would get worse than how I feel atm.

My list of things that would happen were: Lethargy, Losing my freedom to drive for the evening; otherwise my license, waking up heaving and not digesting my food (will i make it to the bathroom?)... wasting money I need to feed my parents, and losing a potentially productive, or fun Saturday. The worst is that I would have to go through withdrawals again.

Hoping things will look up for you! I know that I'm more positive sober, even if things aren't the best for the moment.

Maudcat

Hugs, Mandy.
Hang in there.