Binge drinking mom of two little ones...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1
Binge drinking mom of two little ones...
I feel very emotional writing this. I am still coming to terms with the idea of living my life without alcohol, but I know it is time. I'm done with the excuses I tell myself, and I'm done with the terrible guilt and how sick I feel when I need to be there for my kids. I'm 26, and I have two amazing children ages 3.5 and 7 months. I have always had a problem with alcohol since I started drinking at age 13. Currently I binge drink 1-2 times a week, with wine being my poison of choice. I guess you could say I'm a functioning alcoholic, as I do not drink daily and I always get things done around the house. I'm there for my kids and they have LOTS of love from us, and their needs are met. I'm so tired of feeling the need to drink. The need to "relax" and "get away" from stress. I have always drank way too much, but recently I have started to black out, so I know I've been drinking more than I used to. My husband and I have our "nights" and he indulges too, but never as much as me. He usually only has 1-2 drinks by the time I'm done one bottle of wine and opening a cider.
I feel like I might need more help to quit.. but I'm unsure of who else to speak to about it. It's embarrassing and tough for me to talk about. I would love to talk to a therapist, but they can be so expensive!
Anyway, this is the first step for me as I think having a place to come to to talk about it is so important for my recovery. I'm so ready to be healthy again. I quit with no issues for both of my pregnancies so I know I can do it. It felt amazing!!
Thanks for reading guys😊
I feel like I might need more help to quit.. but I'm unsure of who else to speak to about it. It's embarrassing and tough for me to talk about. I would love to talk to a therapist, but they can be so expensive!
Anyway, this is the first step for me as I think having a place to come to to talk about it is so important for my recovery. I'm so ready to be healthy again. I quit with no issues for both of my pregnancies so I know I can do it. It felt amazing!!
Thanks for reading guys😊
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Firstly welcome!
Secondly, well done on making that first post. It is a tough thing to do but it gets easier from here. Loads of help and encouragement is to be found here!
I think parenting is one of the hardest jobs we ever do. Congrats on chosing to be a sober mum. You can do it!
Secondly, well done on making that first post. It is a tough thing to do but it gets easier from here. Loads of help and encouragement is to be found here!
I think parenting is one of the hardest jobs we ever do. Congrats on chosing to be a sober mum. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Ac021,
Welcome to the board, congratulations for taking this important step! There is no need to feel embarrassed and you will find tons of understanding and support here. The key thing for you to remember is that this disease is progressive, so if you don’t stop now, there is no telling what kind of mother your little ones will grow up with.
Having said that, the first thing to do now is STOP DRINKING, which may or may not be the easy part. And then start building your recovery plan to make sure you’ll stay sober. Any questions you’ll have, there’s always somebody here to help you along. Go for it, we’ll all help out as much as we can!
Welcome to the board, congratulations for taking this important step! There is no need to feel embarrassed and you will find tons of understanding and support here. The key thing for you to remember is that this disease is progressive, so if you don’t stop now, there is no telling what kind of mother your little ones will grow up with.
Having said that, the first thing to do now is STOP DRINKING, which may or may not be the easy part. And then start building your recovery plan to make sure you’ll stay sober. Any questions you’ll have, there’s always somebody here to help you along. Go for it, we’ll all help out as much as we can!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Welcome to SR and congrats on taking the first step on your journey 
The people here have been an integral part of my sobriety and I don't think I could have done it without the support I've received here. Checking in on SR has become part of my morning, and daily, routine. Sharing my experience not only can help others, but it continues to hold myself accountable in my journey, as I still have difficult days.
You have all the right reasons to live a sober life, your children NEED you sober, happy, and functional. My daughter has been part of my plan and inspiration too. For me, rock bottom was loss. I have pushed away everyone in my life that I cared about (and cared about me). I'm 30 years old and have very little personally to show for it and I was at a fork in the road. I couldn't have a happy life with both alcohol AND a family. It isn't possible for me, drinking in "moderation" is a foreign concept to me.
Sobriety = happiness. For me, it doesn't get any easier then this. I'm tired of being alone, living half-ass in my "bachelor pad," going to bars and hoping to find a women to settle down with. I'm an awesome person sober and have a lot to offer to people. It's time I take control of the wheel and kick alcohol away.
I'm 32 days sober today, longest I've ever been sober in 10 years. My life is turned upside down in such a positive way and I know eventually I'll get USED to this new life.
Use this forum however you need to, we GET YOU. We want your success. We will help every way we can. So many amazing people here and inspirational stories.
The people here have been an integral part of my sobriety and I don't think I could have done it without the support I've received here. Checking in on SR has become part of my morning, and daily, routine. Sharing my experience not only can help others, but it continues to hold myself accountable in my journey, as I still have difficult days.
You have all the right reasons to live a sober life, your children NEED you sober, happy, and functional. My daughter has been part of my plan and inspiration too. For me, rock bottom was loss. I have pushed away everyone in my life that I cared about (and cared about me). I'm 30 years old and have very little personally to show for it and I was at a fork in the road. I couldn't have a happy life with both alcohol AND a family. It isn't possible for me, drinking in "moderation" is a foreign concept to me.
Sobriety = happiness. For me, it doesn't get any easier then this. I'm tired of being alone, living half-ass in my "bachelor pad," going to bars and hoping to find a women to settle down with. I'm an awesome person sober and have a lot to offer to people. It's time I take control of the wheel and kick alcohol away.
I'm 32 days sober today, longest I've ever been sober in 10 years. My life is turned upside down in such a positive way and I know eventually I'll get USED to this new life.
Use this forum however you need to, we GET YOU. We want your success. We will help every way we can. So many amazing people here and inspirational stories.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Ac, so glad you are here. Posting here was a wonderful first step. This place is full of people just like you, who understand exactly what you are going through.
I'm a mom, too, who let wine overwhelm lme. If I can stop, so can you. I, too, hid the extent of my problem, but I knew how small, narrow and shallow my life was becoming. All my former talents, passions, interests went by the wayside. I got what needed doing, done, but that was about it. It was an endless round of getting the bare minimum done, drinking, hiding drinking, recovering from drinking, over and over again.
My only outside support for quitting has been here, and confiding in my immediate family. I am now about 150 days alcohol free, and life is so much better.
Read around, post some more, and let us help. Your kids deserve more, YOU deserve more, for yourself. If you have any alcohol in the house, throw it away. Don't buy any more. Don't drink any today.
We are glad you are with us.
I'm a mom, too, who let wine overwhelm lme. If I can stop, so can you. I, too, hid the extent of my problem, but I knew how small, narrow and shallow my life was becoming. All my former talents, passions, interests went by the wayside. I got what needed doing, done, but that was about it. It was an endless round of getting the bare minimum done, drinking, hiding drinking, recovering from drinking, over and over again.
My only outside support for quitting has been here, and confiding in my immediate family. I am now about 150 days alcohol free, and life is so much better.
Read around, post some more, and let us help. Your kids deserve more, YOU deserve more, for yourself. If you have any alcohol in the house, throw it away. Don't buy any more. Don't drink any today.
We are glad you are with us.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hello and welcome to you. I am a fellow (ex) wine drinker and mother of two. My boys are now almost 9 and 7.5.
Once you start blacking out it is a sign that things are really starting to go south. Although some people black out right from the beginning, if this has not been an issue in your past and has only come up recently- from what I understand and have experienced myself- it really means that your problem is growing. It is so scary to black out. I started experiencing that too and now, each and every time I drink I black out. Every time.
I too was what I considered a "functioning alcoholic" and I did hold on by a thin string for a good while- keeping the house in order, up bright and early to make my kids a hot breakfast, get them into clean and ironed clothes, off to school on time. I fed them and bathed them at night, read them stories, all the key boxes ticked off each day. But things were slipping by the wayside even if I wouldn't admit it. Maybe they wanted to go to the park more often and I cut that out despite their pleas in order to be at home where I could safely drink (out of a coffee mug so they wouldn't know). I rushed bedtime routines so I could get into my more heavy drinking. I once woke in the night, probably in a black out, to make my youngest son a bottle and let the milk come to a full boil. I gave him the bottle and he screamed when he took it in his hands because it was boiling hot. Thank God nothing ever happened in the night (or day) where I needed to get them to the hospital- I wouldn't have been able to manage that situation. Of all the things I've done while drinking, all of the horrible, horrible memories, one in particular stands out so much. I was still "functioning" in my mind (what a joke!) and always managed to call the nanny if I was really to drunk to get them from school or manage them, so I did this day. We agreed that she would get them from school, take them to the park and then bring them home. Well she arrived home to find me on my front porch, passed out, covered in red wine stained vomit. My two darling sons came rushing up to me to greet me and she had to shush them into the house quickly so they wouldn't have to witness it anymore. I just cringe when I think of it.
It doesn't sound like you are there yet, and I am really happy for you for that. But my post is just a warning to say that I was where you are, many years ago, but things went downhill with breathtaking speed and really got very, very bad. I would give anything to go back and quit sooner. I didn't, but you can.
I will say though that it is very possible. I consider my first, really honest go at sobriety was when I entered rehab in March of 2016. I have stayed sober for approximately 95% of the time since then. I have suffered some relapses which have been soul crushing, but I am working hard to make sure that doesn't happen again. Life is really good sober, even with the stresses of being a parent. You are in a really tough spot in terms of the ages of your children. They are lovely of course, but I remember well that phase and it is exhausting and stressful even though beautiful and wonderful. They grow though, and things get easier. You might go through a transition phase as you cut out the alcohol where things seem so overwhelming and all you want to do is reach for the wine to receive the tension but I promise you that if you can push through it, once your body and mind clears up things get so much easier as a sober parent. The increase in patience is astonishing and really helps you be a better mother. I am so grateful for my sobriety and how it has helped me be the best mother I possibly can to my sons.
Best of luck to you, we are here for you.
Oh, as for therapy, I am a huge fan of it and consider it an absolute MUST in terms of my budget. Do the math and calculate how much you spend on wine each month, it may very well be that you can make it work if you cut out the expense of wine. From your post and chosen spelling you sound as if you are in the US. (forgive me if I am wrong) I know healthcare there is a bit hard to budget in and finance, however there are a multitude of options out there. Maybe you can do a google search for drop-in centres near you. There are often ones set up specifically for parents and families. There are also therapists and centres that offer a sliding scale payment where you can work out a fee based on what you can afford.
Once you start blacking out it is a sign that things are really starting to go south. Although some people black out right from the beginning, if this has not been an issue in your past and has only come up recently- from what I understand and have experienced myself- it really means that your problem is growing. It is so scary to black out. I started experiencing that too and now, each and every time I drink I black out. Every time.
I too was what I considered a "functioning alcoholic" and I did hold on by a thin string for a good while- keeping the house in order, up bright and early to make my kids a hot breakfast, get them into clean and ironed clothes, off to school on time. I fed them and bathed them at night, read them stories, all the key boxes ticked off each day. But things were slipping by the wayside even if I wouldn't admit it. Maybe they wanted to go to the park more often and I cut that out despite their pleas in order to be at home where I could safely drink (out of a coffee mug so they wouldn't know). I rushed bedtime routines so I could get into my more heavy drinking. I once woke in the night, probably in a black out, to make my youngest son a bottle and let the milk come to a full boil. I gave him the bottle and he screamed when he took it in his hands because it was boiling hot. Thank God nothing ever happened in the night (or day) where I needed to get them to the hospital- I wouldn't have been able to manage that situation. Of all the things I've done while drinking, all of the horrible, horrible memories, one in particular stands out so much. I was still "functioning" in my mind (what a joke!) and always managed to call the nanny if I was really to drunk to get them from school or manage them, so I did this day. We agreed that she would get them from school, take them to the park and then bring them home. Well she arrived home to find me on my front porch, passed out, covered in red wine stained vomit. My two darling sons came rushing up to me to greet me and she had to shush them into the house quickly so they wouldn't have to witness it anymore. I just cringe when I think of it.
It doesn't sound like you are there yet, and I am really happy for you for that. But my post is just a warning to say that I was where you are, many years ago, but things went downhill with breathtaking speed and really got very, very bad. I would give anything to go back and quit sooner. I didn't, but you can.
I will say though that it is very possible. I consider my first, really honest go at sobriety was when I entered rehab in March of 2016. I have stayed sober for approximately 95% of the time since then. I have suffered some relapses which have been soul crushing, but I am working hard to make sure that doesn't happen again. Life is really good sober, even with the stresses of being a parent. You are in a really tough spot in terms of the ages of your children. They are lovely of course, but I remember well that phase and it is exhausting and stressful even though beautiful and wonderful. They grow though, and things get easier. You might go through a transition phase as you cut out the alcohol where things seem so overwhelming and all you want to do is reach for the wine to receive the tension but I promise you that if you can push through it, once your body and mind clears up things get so much easier as a sober parent. The increase in patience is astonishing and really helps you be a better mother. I am so grateful for my sobriety and how it has helped me be the best mother I possibly can to my sons.
Best of luck to you, we are here for you.
Oh, as for therapy, I am a huge fan of it and consider it an absolute MUST in terms of my budget. Do the math and calculate how much you spend on wine each month, it may very well be that you can make it work if you cut out the expense of wine. From your post and chosen spelling you sound as if you are in the US. (forgive me if I am wrong) I know healthcare there is a bit hard to budget in and finance, however there are a multitude of options out there. Maybe you can do a google search for drop-in centres near you. There are often ones set up specifically for parents and families. There are also therapists and centres that offer a sliding scale payment where you can work out a fee based on what you can afford.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 315
Ac021, welcome to SR. I'm a father of seven. I know the stress of parenting well. Like you, my drinking was getting progressively worse. While you're still able to accomplish things around your house and tend to your kids' needs now, it's only a matter of time before those things fall into bad neglect.
With the help of SR, outpatient treatment, and AA, I'm now almost nine months sober. Life is still stressful at times, of course, but I'm able to handle that stress in a productive, responsible manner now. In some regards, life is actually less stressful, since I don't have to deal with the insanity of being constantly drunk, lying, trying to remember my lies, hiding bottles, blacking out, withdrawing, etc.
The best part, though, is that my wife and kids trust me and can depend on me again. That means the world to me. I get it that the thought of living life without alcohol is scary. It really is, at first. But the longer you're away from it, the more normal life without it becomes, and the less you miss it.
I hope you stick around and give this sobriety thing a try. You're worth it, and so is your family's well being. Take care.
With the help of SR, outpatient treatment, and AA, I'm now almost nine months sober. Life is still stressful at times, of course, but I'm able to handle that stress in a productive, responsible manner now. In some regards, life is actually less stressful, since I don't have to deal with the insanity of being constantly drunk, lying, trying to remember my lies, hiding bottles, blacking out, withdrawing, etc.
The best part, though, is that my wife and kids trust me and can depend on me again. That means the world to me. I get it that the thought of living life without alcohol is scary. It really is, at first. But the longer you're away from it, the more normal life without it becomes, and the less you miss it.
I hope you stick around and give this sobriety thing a try. You're worth it, and so is your family's well being. Take care.
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