jpw147

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping that this may be a good place to seek advice. I've been struggling with alcohol/drug/gambling addictions pretty much my whole life. I had always convinced myself that I could manage it but then I finally hit rock bottom a few months ago when I overdosed on fentanyl. I went into cardiac arrest and stopped breathing for quite some time. The Doctor couldn't believe that I survived.

After that, I had quit drinking/gambling/drugs for 6 weeks and was seeking out-patient treatment and attending meetings. But I fell off the wagon again this past month and been right back into the alcohol and drugs. Haven't slept in a few days because I've been drinking/snorting blow/smoking crack so I'm going crazy with depression and anxiety right now.

I feel hopeless. I really believed that after overdosing and coming that close to death would be my rock bottom and I'd clean up my act. How am I still doing this after all of that? Is there any hope for me? I can't keep living life this way. I'm not sure there is anything anybody can do for me but please help if you can.

soberandhonest

Sending good thoughts your way jpw. There is hope, so long as we breathe, there is hope. But hope and a crisp dollar will only get you four quarters. You need to get a plan and then execute that plan. Loads of us have done this and you can too. Stay close to SR for support and get moving on a recovery plan.

SoulfulThinker

There is most definitely hope for you, you are still breathing, want sobriety, and admitting that you can't do it alone.

I've heard so many stories of people hitting rock bottom and taking quite some time to actually make the commitment to get clean, so don't beat yourself up on that you're not alone. No one can do anything for you, but yourself.

Coming to this site is a great step, and so is honestly opening up about your story. Have you tired NA/AA? It was scary for me being a newcomer, but people are generally welcoming. It's really nice to be around people who get it. It's a supportive environment- you don't have to work the steps or get a sponsor or anything like that unless/until you want to.

Ghostlight1

You're not alone. Hello and welcome. You'll find support here.

I was a very low bottom drunk. I hit bottom and bounced. I was hospitalized three times. I wasn't ready, or done, to stop drinking and drugging.
I cut the drugs out-opioids because of fear of ending up dead, so drinking was my medication. And it was for thirty years. And I was a bad drunk. Sweats, shakes and crippling anxiety were my constant companions except while drunk.

It took a higher power than myself to finally make me quit.
I asked for help and got it through an Angel who took the time to meet with me. We had a lot in common except he was successfully staying sober with a drinking story worse than mine.
I finally crawled into AA. I was terrified. Terrified to quit drinking and terrified to drink.
I had finally stuck to the bottom and there was no way I could quit by myself without help.

I relapsed a lot while attending AA and coming here, but it was never the same drinking when I knew there were rooms full of people just like me who were successfully solving their problem with drink.
I was drunk and drugged for thirty years. It's now been over six years since this drunk has had a reason to drink.
You can do it to. Just don't give up trying. Never give up trying.
I wish you the best, and again, you are not alone.

hpdw

Hi , sorry you feel so low but its good that your reaching out for help .
Everyone's rock bottom is different but at least you recognise you want life and freedom from your addictions .
Ghostlight1 above is a wonderful example of this .
You want to do it and with help you will do it .

Wishing you well

Gottalife

I felt that there was one word missing from the end of the last sentence: recover.

Nearly every post along these lines mentions meetings but never the steps. That might be a clue as to why success is so elusive.

biminiblue

jpw147. . .say a prayer. On your knees. Even if you think you don't believe, your prayer will be heard.

That's what I did - in desperation one hungover morning. Here I am nearly four years sober.

Anna

Of course, there is hope for you, but taking action is also very important.

Dee74

There is absolutely hope for you jpw - welcome aboard

D

soulcoughedream

I'm so glad you are here. I'm looking for a councilor for myself to help with the anxiety/depression. I think I need to add that to my recovery. Maybe that could help you too?? Nice to meet you jwp147.