Kinglegion

Guess i'm new with this. Should start off with the basic. I started drinking heavy after a relationship ended, only progressively getting worse as time went on. At my worse i was drinking a liter of vodka a day just to feel "happy", it just went out of control i guess. I drank like this for maybe two years before i realized that the ride side of my body hurt (i knew it was because of my drinking ) so decided to try and ease off it a bit. But now i cant find happiness and only find depression, i cant enjoy life without a drink. Guess i brought it upon myself. Just asking for advise as i always seem to find myself back at the bottle with the same pain, the same problems. It's pretty hard to admit to yourself at the age of 24 you might die of alcohol related illness, it's even harder to say to yourself "yea, that's probably going to happen". I'm pretty shy would rather not seek professional help and would like to get my anonymity . Just seeking opinions

Dee74

Hi and welcoem Kinglegion

If you want to stop drinking, this is the place to be

I was 40 when I quit - I had no idea what life might be like sober, but I knew I had to try.

It meant a lot of changes but they were worth it - I love my life now
Being sober? It's turned out great

You will find joy again sober - you just have to run on faith a little while while your mind & body heals

You'll find a lot of support here

D

Awake61

What Dee said and keep coming back here. You have so much life ahead of you!

FreeOwl

It took a while..... but I found true joy and happiness in sobriety after descending into the despair and awfulness of vodka liters and blackouts and misery for many years. Took me until 40, so you're way ahead of the game getting started on getting your life back now.

Readytodothis

Wow! I'm 39 (40 in a few weeks) and am on my 5th day alcohol free. I wish I would have had the insight at your age to realize that I already had a problem. This is a great place with great support, so keep coming back, keep posting. I can tell you that even though I'm only 5 days in, it is better.

PeacefulWater12

Welcome. Vodka was my drink of choice too. I relate to a lot of what you shared. I can now honestly say my life is the best it has ever been. Took time, of course. Well worth it.

Mountainmanbob

Many drunks think they need to drink so as to be happy. If alcoholic this is self deception for excessive use of alcohol only brings on depression or makes depression worse.

Seems your mind and body may be talking to you.
Take some sober time to listen.

Good luck,
M-Bob

Kinglegion

Didn't realize id get so many positive messages, being the internet and all. I suppose i should dig deeper into my story. I keep trying to get off the bottle. This summer i went ten days without a drink, i guess it might not seem like a lot. I felt good during the day but the night was horrible. During this time i'd maybe get 2 hours of sleep (i felt great during the day). As i have a job and need to balance that. My rule of thumb is if i work the next day i need to stop drinking 6 hours before i work, i never drink on the job (kind of my golden rule). Though i fell back into the spiral to get a good night sleep but believe me i tried so many options. melatonin was my first choice but for me to sleep i needed 7, 25mg to fall asleep. My next question is how, or if anyone had the same problem, deal with this?

Dee74

I think insomnia is common for most of us in withdrawal.

When I quit, I didn't take melatonin or anything else and my sleep got back to normal in a week to ten days.

D

VigilanceNow

Hey Kingleton and welcome! Your struggle sounds so much like mine. As alcoholics we have to come to the realization that we drink because we have this disease of not being able to stop after one. I used to try to figure out if I was drinking more when happy/sad/bored/stressed.... maybe at one point it was more one or the other, but as the disease progressed, it was any and every "reason" to drink.

Regarding sleep and feeling worse at night - absolutely had the same thing. I tried Melatonin too and it gave me crazy dreams. When you drink so much hard liquor, your body has to speed up a lot of its functioning to compensate for the alcohol since it is a depressant. When it's taken away, your nervous system is still in overdrive. This is part of why I've gotten long bouts of insomnia and even muscle twitches while trying to sleep. If you stay away from alcohol, things will even back out :-)