"A beautiful life" : Weekender Thread October 19-25
 

Hello all.
I have the pleasure of writing the OP for this weeks weekender.

Just to start I would like to say I have always loved reading this thread since i joined SR. I think its a great example of a recovery network. Everyone has different mileage up (even if some eventually find sober twins ) and wonderful stories to tell. I am a pretty recent arrival here in SR and to the whole idea of an online recovery network but am I glad I tried it.
We all know the struggle here regardless of where you are in the world.

My AV sometimes pops up and tells me I can try again to be a normal drinker. What, where did that come from ?
Addiction, alcohol and ourselves, we can always find the flaw in ourselves if we want to, if we look hard enough.
Personally i have been cheated by myself (my AV, my weariness) many times in moments of weakness.

I am by no means an expert but I think an awareness of what Im feeling or experiencing at or in any present moment is being mindful.
It helps me to stay aware of the reality of my addiction. Writing here on SR or just hitting a thanks on a post does me a world of good.

So thats my thought for this weekend, a heightened awareness of the present is essential for keeping the reality in check.
Maybe because staying sober today is the underlying prerequisite to a beautiful life.
I hope i wasn't too deep or philosophical. I can carried away writing...
Feel free to comment :)

So lets make it through another weekend safe and sober.
This thread is open to all.
Have a super weekend.
:tyou

Shotgun!

Now that that's done... :) Nice introduction, thank you. I just got triggered by another post that reminded me of how I could go for months drinking "moderately", ugh. Staying mindful and grateful for every day. Happy sober weekend everyone!

Thanks for starting this weeks thread Vman - great post :)

I think as a drinker I spent a lot of time regretting the past or fearing the future - I find a lot of serenity in staying in the day and being mindful :)

D

Thank you Vman for the post and sharing!

I'm currently at 25 days sober and my AV only popped up once, ironically it was after a meeting while heading to a friend's for some food and football. The thought was how nice a glass bottle of beer would be. Weird!!!!!
The thought didn't last long, as I'm totally aware of the repercussions and nothing is worth risking my sobriety.
I was able to quickly change my thoughts, thinking about the beautiful life I've created! The sober life..
It's amazing how much I run my house based off my emotions, attitude and sobriety. Seriously, everyone is much happier even my 2 year old is happier. Maybe I'm just enjoying life more and they all sense it and are enjoying it right along with me. Either way, I wouldn't change this whole sobriety for anything.

Have a great weekend all!

Fantastic opening post, Vman.

Thank you.

glad to have you as shotgun Melki :)

Hi DreamCatcher and good going on the 25 days.
Hi dear Leigh :)
Hello D :)

Did you guys read the thread about neighbor and a pool? I just had a thrill of a nighttime. Very interesting read.

Thanks for the post, Vman....my AV likes to make that appearance, and it's often not even an immediate craving; more like "Every once in a while will be okay" ~ even though I know that is full of crap!

Glad to be here with my recovery family ~ I'm in for another weekend! :c017:

Nice to see ya Purps :wave:

Melki I hadnt seen that one but i read a few pages now (thx) and it seems wacko, funny, true, sensitive... on one post i saw something like 'yay you won back your pool'.... great laugh :)

Well its time to head into to the city and good old work.
See you later weekenders.

Great opening, Vman!

I very rarely see or hear my AV now, but being at the present moment is an art I am still trying to master.

I've gotta run.

Have a great day/night, everyone.

Morning, great OP Vman, fleeing to the bottle was never an escape, just a route to making things worse. Staying in the moment is always the better option even if life does not bring pink fluffy clouds.

Congratulations on shotgun Melki and good to see you.

Hi and thanks MB and Sao.

Great to see you too, sao, thank you.

Feeling resentful today. It reminds me of something my husband often does. We will discuss something that he won't be particularly fond of (for example, an activity for a kid that would require some involvement from him, or going somewhere/having someone over on the weekend). He'll begrudgingly agree, but then right when the time comes to take the kid there, or for us to go or for the company to arrive, he'll start throwing a fit and often sabotage it.

So it's exactly what I'm doing today. I had an option to push for something or to let it go. I have begrudgingly let it go. Today I'm faced with that decision and feeling very resentful that I didn't push harder. It's too late now, it's over and done with. I will get over it, just annoyed with myself and the whole situation. Have to be alert and think of something good to do for myself to take my mind off.

Have a good day, everyone!

You know, up until very recently I’ve typically been haunted by my past. Every unkind or embarrassing thing I’d ever done kept popping unexpectedly into my mind, usually when I was trying to drift off to sleep.

I just resigned myself to the fact that it was something I was stuck with, so I might as well come to terms with it.

But now that I’m reading here this morning, it dawns on me that I haven’t had any regrets for the past in at least a couple weeks. I’ve had too much emotional action lately to have room for thoughts of the past.

And the recent regrets I’ve had have been rationally resolved through my own sober maturity and that of others.

It’s nice to be sober!

Thanks, Vman!

In the moment. Be here now. Sounds like an AA meeting up in here! :) Or maybe a Buddhist retreat. Regardless, it's an important thing for me to remember every moment.

"If I'm living one half-second in the future or one half-second in the past I'm living in illusion and illusion is the province of fear."

Whenever I'm feeling fear, I think, "Where are my feet?" Then I usually curl my toes and take a few slow breaths and that brings me back to my current body and the present moment. I learned that trick from a child's anxiety workshop.

Nothing ruins my day faster than grabbing on to some negative memory or some future hasn't-even-probably-won't-even-happen fear. I can feel it in my stomach.

In! Great opener, V.

Vman!!!!!!:c009:
Thanks for opening the weekender!
Thought I might sneak in with you guys if I may......
I don't find that I am regularly tussling with my AV any longer. The idea of normal drinking (whatever that is!) doesn't interest me at all I've tried and failed far too many times for that. However, what my AV does is super sneaky and mean. It waits until I am low, full of self-loathing, frightened and small. Then is creeps up behind me with the illusion of relief and an "out". I guess that's where I am right now. Sad, lonely and depressed. Trigger time if you like.
So what do I do?
I do believe I'm living life on life's terms and what I'm experiencing is the fallout of so many wasted years. No proper pastimes, friends or healthy ways of spending my spare time. Like a little lost child blundering around.
So somehow I have to be accepting of this and experience it and, in time, change it. Right now I'm very sad and in danger of going the wrong way but I have at least recognised the slope and I'm trying to do the right thing.
I am absolutely committed to my sobriety as much as ever. Life might feel uncomfortable right now but I'll never regret the day I put that poison down.
Count me in!

Great Post V, thank you for the thread.

I am a very "in the moment" person, even before sobriety. I wouldn't think about what the hangover tomorrow would do, or my actions reflecting on work or those I cared about, it was "in the moment" I wanted to get DRUNK.

I still think this way, but in a different way. "In this moment" I can be sober and be happy in a completely different way. I can be healthier for me and for my daughter. I can run farther without getting winded. I can dance without shame or embarrassment. I can laugh and smile and appreciate the little things (I have a deer and her two babies eating outside my office window right now). I can do things for other people, nice things! I can ignore the AV or I can choose to give in. I know better, now.

I'm in for the weekend! Stay safe everyone.

Cool, SS. The deer is my Spirit Animal.

Don't laugh! A Native American woman told me that. :blush: