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"A beautiful life" : Weekender Thread October 19-25

Old 10-20-2017, 02:15 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Morning weekenders!
Biminiblue your post did so cleverly sum it up for so many of us. The insanity of "just this once" is the start of the whole twisted merry-go-round.
I'm so pleased I checked this thread out. The topic of choice has actually helped me a lot. Yes I am in a low period but I can feel and experience it without it growing out of proportion. Just because I don't drink any more doesn't mean I have a free pass to happiness. I'm living and that's good enough. So I'm tryimg to let this cloud drift along and do what I can to help it pass.
Today I've got my youngest and her best friend at home. I have a tonne of housework to do as family visit on Monday but the background girlie giggling is wonderful. Taking it steady and having coffee and SR breaks throughout the day.
Sober weekends are still a novelty and I do love them. I sometimes think back to the old days and shudder. They've gone now. Today is all that matters.
Happy Friday and have a great time Vman! I've never been to Ireland but I was recently introduced to white pudding. Yum yum a taste sensation!
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Old 10-20-2017, 02:27 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Great OP VMan!!

Fresh on a friday? Who me? Feels good. I still retain the friday enthusiasm but without the "need" to go find drugs and drink until drugs make sense. Great weekend weather here. I want to bake, clean, walk, shop, live this weekend. What a wonderful feeling.

*Ring Ring * my sober friends!

K
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Old 10-20-2017, 02:49 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Thanks Jo.
Looking forward to white pudding tomorrow morning

Hello K.
That sounds good, the weather, the baking, the walking, shopping, LIVING .
Ring ring.
We all have to find our path. Our own solution.
With intelligence, creativity, humility and love we find our way. Only ourselves.
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Old 10-20-2017, 02:58 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Hurrah! A full Irish breakfast you lucky thing!
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Old 10-20-2017, 04:18 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Good morning everyone. Thanks for the thread vMan. Being mindful was something I had to learn. Too often I buried my thoughts and switched of my brain enabling my AV to take over and guide me throught bottle shop. Being present was a delightful side effect of mindefulness. I love the analogy of being in the room. I'm going to try and be mindeful of that and apply it to what I'm doing at the moment. Often I find I'm easly distractd from one task on to another and next thing I know, I'm juggeling several things at once. Not exactly multistasking, more like a slow multithreading.
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Old 10-20-2017, 04:45 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
ours de petit cerveau
 
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Happy Friday

some Mindfulness from a Bear of Very Little Brain:

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Old 10-20-2017, 04:48 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by joandmelandhan View Post
Just because I don't drink any more doesn't mean I have a free pass to happiness.
Absolutely! Quitting alcohol does not give anyone a free path to happiness but it takes you away from guaranteed unhappiness and puts you on that path.

Work was less awful than anticipated. Something I thought I had forgotten - turns out I hadn't forgotten but I forgot that I hadn't forgotten. That last sentence makes me sound like a Donald Rumsfeld tribute act.
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Old 10-20-2017, 05:24 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Your sentence made perfect sense, sao! Is the work day over for you? I still have 8+ hours. Have a pleasant weekend!

Thanks again for the OP, I keep reflecting on the idea of being in the moment. Being content with what is right here is a learned skill after years of living in your head, thinking "what's-next-what's-next-what's-next", escaping and numbing unpleasant emotions. There's also this toxic FOMO and occasional FB jealousy. In a weird way, maturing out of it is a little painful and I'm almost reluctant to let it go!
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Old 10-20-2017, 05:28 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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So this is where everyone is. It's quiet elsewhere.
Great OP Vman. I really believe very firmly in mindfulness and try my level best to live mindfully, although it's easier said than done. Catastrophising about future events was a big reason I allowed my drinking to get out of control. It was a way to switch my brain off. It still runs out of control now but the anxiety that usually followed is significantly reduced now that my system is alcohol free.
I'm certainly in for another sober weekend. The idea of possibly waking the anxiety up again is a great incentive to stay sober.
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Old 10-20-2017, 05:46 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by andyh View Post
Happy Friday

some Mindfulness from a Bear of Very Little Brain:

This is perfect! Reminds me of the book Tao of Pooh. That is one cool bear! I need a little bit of that philosophy.
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:05 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Hi T- Dragon (you an IT guy ? )

Love your pic too Andy. My name is Vincent but everyone calls me Vinny except in france they have trouble saying Vinny and I quite often end up as Winnie ( not as complicated as your sentence Sao )

So happy to see you here again Downthepath (classmate )
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:09 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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I was happy enough with my OP so I showed it to mrs Vman and she read :

"I have the PRESSURE of writing the OP for this weeks weekender."
Cheeky girl.

Anyways im off to the land of the leprachauns.
Later weekenders
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:16 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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There's a booze-filled work function tonight and I already decided I'm not going and told everyone I have other plans but now I'm feeling very left out as everyone is buzzing about. Tell me again why I shouldn't go, why it's a smart and mature decision... I really miss going out. There's very little noisy fun in my life now, and I do miss that.
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Old 10-20-2017, 07:55 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
ours de petit cerveau
 
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Originally Posted by melki View Post
There's a booze-filled work function tonight and I already decided I'm not going and told everyone I have other plans but now I'm feeling very left out as everyone is buzzing about. Tell me again why I shouldn't go, why it's a smart and mature decision... I really miss going out. There's very little noisy fun in my life now, and I do miss that.
Being sober around noisy drunk people doesn't sound like my idea of fun!

I'm not going to say whether you should or shouldn't go, but you've obviously made a choice not to go based on whatever your own reasons are. Those reasons are as valid now as they were when you made the decision & told your work you had other plans, so stick to your guns!
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Old 10-20-2017, 08:08 AM
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Thank you, andyh. I'm very triggered and upset, crying in the bathroom. I just made a fool of myself at a meeting speaking up and getting completely tongue-tied in the process. People were exchanging looks. I finally shut up, utterly mortified. I feel like a complete loser right now.
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Old 10-20-2017, 08:32 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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((((Melki))))

This horrible, mortified mood will pass. Soon you’ll say something very useful at work and you’ll be much closer to feeling redeemed.

Drowning your misery in alcohol would just make you despise yourself more as soon as the buzz wore off.

Hang tough. Treat yourself to something genuinely good when you get off work.
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Old 10-20-2017, 08:38 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Thank you, Gilmer. Right now I have "idiot-idiot-idiot" playing on a loop in my head. I know it will pass. I won't drink but I can't think of anything genuinely good.
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Old 10-20-2017, 09:24 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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I'm sure you did not appear as bad as you felt Melki. I expect there will be a lot worse at "the booze filled work function" and none of it will be on you.

BTW I am still at work but not for much longer, half hour tops.
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Old 10-20-2017, 09:40 AM
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sao, thanks for the kind words, but it really was bad. Even my manager was annoyed with me, and said as much, that next time I should think what point I'm trying to make, especially when contradicting a superior. It made sense in my head and completely fell apart when I opened my mouth... What's worse, this was the first time I spoke up in this room full of people. I feel insecure to begin with and this was a huge blow.

Glad your workday is almost over. Hope you have something nice planned for the weekend.

I'm trying to think of something except all the commitments for the kids and getting more depressed. It's a gorgeous day outside and all I want is crawl in a hole and, if I'm honest, I just don't want to feel anything at all.
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Old 10-20-2017, 09:44 AM
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Homemade applesauce is da bomb. I live in Washington state, so needless to say apples are in generous and inexpensive supply right now.

Also really yum is my homemade chicken soup - in solidarity with MidnightBlue. I will think of you as I eat it. I hope you're recovered.

Sao, sounds like you survived the week. V, how was that pudding?

So it's a bit rainy today, but my GPS location explains that as well. I'll be out taking my walk in a few minutes and I'm certain I won't melt, even though that thought from Mom still comes in my head. She was wrong about a lot of stuff! I've been enjoying having the trails mostly to myself.

It's I Don't Drink Friday. If you're new or struggling, this is a good place to post or just hang. Make a plan for this weekend, even if it is a marathon TV thing or cleaning all the closets. That stuff is important, and got me through a lot of early sobriety.

Be here now.

Also...herbal tea.

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