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Old 10-18-2017, 09:57 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Tell them to bring you some calming tea. Do you like coconut water. It has electrolytes. Very important. I took the herb Valarian to relax and nod off for a few hours at a time. I also took magnesium tablets for my nerves. Not giving advice just stating what I did.
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Old 10-18-2017, 09:59 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I should at least go buy Pedialyte. I just feel stuck in my damn house.
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:04 AM
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Maybe someone could go get some things for you? Does your pharmacy deliver?
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:07 AM
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Can you do something to distract your mind? Watch TV or movies or something? Shakes are a pretty common withdrawal symptom. Gross tremors or lack of motor control are not. Glad you have people IRL checking in on you.
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by ChloeRose63 View Post
Maybe someone could go get some things for you? Does your pharmacy deliver?
Good ideas.
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:10 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I'm watching TV now. I could literally walk to the store if I need to. Just used the restroom. My urine was clear so that's a plus. I'm hydrated. Sorry if that's too much info.
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:12 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Wow your thread has taken me right back to that place. I've never taken medication for withdrawals and my last big cold turkey was horrendous. So I really do understand why you're here and needing a bit of hand-holding. I did the same. Good thing is there is someone here 24/7 so you can shout "help" any time. This is the time you'll look back on as a reason to never pick up again. So if you have the energy to journal etc it might help you further down the line.
There's nothing you need to do right now except take care of yourself. Whatever helps. Lots of water vitamins and rest. I kept the TV on low volume all night at first it helped with the night fear.
Oh I feel for you I really do but you are literally saving your life right now. It's never going to change you've proved that to yourself on your last binge. Kindling got me too and I know I can never drink safely again. It's a relief once you accept that.
Take care and keep posting xxx
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:22 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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@joandmelandhan your post really calmed me. Thank you for that. I don't have a television in my bedroom, so that kinda sucks. Just really want Day 1 to be over with. I never want to do this again. I haven't been this releaved to quit drinking since the first time I sobered up and that was in 2012. I'm tired of this ish. I've completely destroyed any kind of credibility I have in this city and really just wanna go. I can't though. Tired of lying about drinking, ruining every single job. It's just exhausting. I feel like people look at me as a joke. I can go on for hours.
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:39 AM
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All of the rebuilding of your reputation and self worth will happen but will take time. I know your mind is going all over stuff but seriously just focus on what you're doing right now. Ridding your body of that nasty poison and all that comes with it. It's a very important step.. See this time as utterly necessary for your recovery. Your body and mind are beginning to heal and adjust.
Every minute away from the poison is a step in the right direction. You are doing a massive thing you should be very proud of yourself xx
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:47 AM
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Pajanickah, have you read about AVRT? There is a good long thread in the Secular Connections forum about this approach to becoming sober. Detaching from my addiction has always appealed to me. So does fellowship, which is why I'm not a purist in anyone's quitting or recovery camp.

Let me know if you're interested and I can send you a couple of links.

O
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Old 10-18-2017, 03:56 PM
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I am on day 1 too. It sucks. I'll be here is you need to chat.
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Old 10-18-2017, 07:06 PM
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I hope the silence is due to you sleeping.
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Old 10-18-2017, 08:35 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Checking in on you. Been following this. Hope all is well. Keep us posted please. I hope you got some rest
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Old 10-19-2017, 07:36 PM
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how are you today Pajanickah ?
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Old 10-20-2017, 12:00 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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How's it going today? I really hope that with each passing hour things start to get better for you. I was exactly where you are one month ago and it is terrible. I don't want to use your misery for selfish purposes, but to be honest, your detailed post about what you are going through- one I can really relate to- is a helpful reminder of where I would be if I chose to drink again. Never want to go through that again.

I was doing the same thing, forcing myself to eat and drink. For about a week I could only manage a banana and a small yogurt each day, eaten over a period of hours, just one bite at a time. But getting some food down is crucial to getting your energy back and taking care of your body. Try to find the most nutritious things you can and eat them in small doses. It sounds like you are getting fluids down, keep that up. I forced myself to take sips of water at least every 15-30 minutes. It was really difficult to do even that.

Some light exercise might help, maybe you can get out and walk to the pharmacy to pick up some vitamin water or other things to ease you through this. A little fresh air and a walk would be good and help you to feel like you accomplished something.

Keep checking in here, we are with you all the way!
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:04 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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So, I relapsed. Ended up drinking a 12 pack of beer Wednesday and a magnum bottle of wine yesterday. I did buy 2 magnum bottles and dumped the rest this morning. What a waste of money. I guess it's a waste of money either way. This is the furthest I've gone on a binge in over a year. It's scary. My heart rate was at 146 last night around 8pm now around 105. Kinda scared me. I was also jerking out of my sleep all night. When that happens I know I need to stop.

My anxiety is all job related. Kind of makes me mad that they aren't having me start work until next, Tuesday. Idle hands. Also scares me they won't even start me at all and I've now wasted a week and given up another job so I can commit myself to them. The over thinking from drinking to much is almost unbearable. If I don't hear from them today, I will be giving them another call.

I dunno, gonna try again today.
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:48 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Just took my first shower since, Monday. Sigh. Felt nice calmed me down a little, however my anxiety level isn't really high. Now I'm eating tomato soup at 9:30am. I'm not really having a problem with drinking or eating anything so that's a blessing. However, my stomach does hurt. I'm having really spotty vision and I feel as if my eyes are super dialated. Dialated eyes are the worst symptom to me because it scares me that I may hallucinate. That's really the last thing I need. My house is such a mess. I just moved into this apartment 3 months ago and swore I would never get on this state while living in this new home. This disease is so crazy.
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:53 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Pajanickah,

I was a little worried that might be the case. I've been there and I'm sorry; I know how much it sucks on the crazy merry-go-round.

I'm confused about the job thing. If you are starting next Tuesday, then doesn't that mean you are starting next Tuesday? Sorry to be dense. Or forgetful.

Here's my worries for you (because my concerns matter first here! NOT):

1. Your heart rate is too high. Can you sit quietly and listen to calming music for an hour or so? That might help. Really, you should get to a doctor or a clinic or something. Can you do that?

2. Your heart rate was WAY too high last night. Really you should get to a doctor.

3. If you can't stop drinking because you have to medicate the symptoms of not drinking, you would benefit greatly from medical intervention. Really you should get to a doctor or clinic or ER. Can you do that?

Like I said, I've been there. Finally caved and went to the ED. Because I was terribly depressed and had a passive death wish, they took me more seriously when I'd been there previously and only told them about the alcohol. Sucks how that is in the medical world, but it is.

O
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Old 10-20-2017, 07:00 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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My heart rate has dropped to 91. That's where my heart rate usually sits so as long as I don't drink then I really won't have to worry about it. I'm gonna push through today and if the night is scary then I will go tomorrow.

I'm worried about the jib thing because I was supposed to start this week, but they pushed it to next week. They said they would call me and still haven't and that I'd probably start, Tuesday. Again, I over think. I've always been that way with my job. It's a real fear that is always constant in my life. It's weird.
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Old 10-20-2017, 07:04 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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Yeah, call the job. That's appropriate, since it's Friday and you need to plan. Just do it now so you can stop obsessing over it.

Can you revise your plan to be "If the night is scary, I will go tonight?" What is keeping you from going now?
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