Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 2
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Stubbs, I'm not an AAer either, but I did go in the beginning and a lot of the stuff really does apply.
"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today," is one line from the book I remember.
Also in early recovery I had that Serenity Prayer on a loop in my head. It straightened out my thinking on a lot of stuff. It really applies to all of life.
Family. Yeah. I hear ya. I got into recovery BECAUSE of my family in 1989. I was done with everyone elses' dramas. I just could not do it any more.
So I read just about every self-help book known to woman, went to a few therapy session, found a personal mentor, went to church, quit drinking, temporarily cut off contact with the problematic people, and eventually healed myself.
It's out there if you want it. Recovery is available to everyone.
"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today," is one line from the book I remember.
Also in early recovery I had that Serenity Prayer on a loop in my head. It straightened out my thinking on a lot of stuff. It really applies to all of life.
Family. Yeah. I hear ya. I got into recovery BECAUSE of my family in 1989. I was done with everyone elses' dramas. I just could not do it any more.
So I read just about every self-help book known to woman, went to a few therapy session, found a personal mentor, went to church, quit drinking, temporarily cut off contact with the problematic people, and eventually healed myself.
It's out there if you want it. Recovery is available to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Here, I googled. . .
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation --
Some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me,
And I can find no serenity until I accept
That person, place, thing, or situation
As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
Unless I accept life completely on life's terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
On what needs to be changed in the world
As on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition p. 417
When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation --
Some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me,
And I can find no serenity until I accept
That person, place, thing, or situation
As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
Unless I accept life completely on life's terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
On what needs to be changed in the world
As on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition p. 417
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Hello, it's 16 days for me. I don't know how to explain but it really seems different this time. I'm really seeing drinking as just some stupid trick I play on myself.
I can't change the world so I'll just change the way I look at it. It's got as much to do with reality as someone who fantasises about their ideal life is really living it. It makes it all seem so empty.
When I'm sober and in the presence of drunks I find them pretty tiresome. I know I'm one of the worst. Maybe that's the big reason for drinking, just to fit in, where you have to be on other people's levels. That would have been okay I suppose if I'd ever known how to stop once I'd started.
Anyway, feeling good. I know it's worth it, but stopping's not everything. I have to have something to replace such a massive part of my life.
Best wishes to all here. We're all in it together.
I can't change the world so I'll just change the way I look at it. It's got as much to do with reality as someone who fantasises about their ideal life is really living it. It makes it all seem so empty.
When I'm sober and in the presence of drunks I find them pretty tiresome. I know I'm one of the worst. Maybe that's the big reason for drinking, just to fit in, where you have to be on other people's levels. That would have been okay I suppose if I'd ever known how to stop once I'd started.
Anyway, feeling good. I know it's worth it, but stopping's not everything. I have to have something to replace such a massive part of my life.
Best wishes to all here. We're all in it together.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Caledon, ON
Posts: 130
Interestingly, I haven't been counting this time. It feels too slow so I don't do it. I just checked and I am at 19 days today, 20 tomorrow. That'll be the longest for me in 8 years. This time has actually been harder, but I think it's because I know this is it, I just can not and will not drink. The panic attacks have subsided considerably, though they still sneak up on me now and then. The depression is still there, but I am working on that too. Brightenmeup; I agree, day to day is pretty boring and the weather doesn't help (sounds like yours is similar).
Now, on a positive note something happened to me just now which is the impetus for this post. This something has not really happened to me in as long as I can truly remember. I felt hope, and a really deep sense of contentment. It was so good I thought you know, the next time I feel "bored" I am going to remember that feeling; impossible to feel bored while feeling so damned content.
It's a hell of a struggle, but every day makes it a little easier.
Now, on a positive note something happened to me just now which is the impetus for this post. This something has not really happened to me in as long as I can truly remember. I felt hope, and a really deep sense of contentment. It was so good I thought you know, the next time I feel "bored" I am going to remember that feeling; impossible to feel bored while feeling so damned content.
It's a hell of a struggle, but every day makes it a little easier.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Just checking in AGAIN lol...
21:55 here...
Day 12 today and I'm feeling so good but all of a sudden I'm feeling anxious in the house, I live alone and just came home from a friends house and just feel really nervous in here. Is this normal to get waves of anxiety early on??? ...
I sound mad I know but I keep imagining someone breaking in or being downstairs and so on... Don't feel settled at all, hoping it passes, not liking this feeling at all
...
Other than this I'm doing great, not even wanting a drop of that poison! Feel really positive just having a nervous, anxious feeling being home alone.
K x
21:55 here...
Day 12 today and I'm feeling so good but all of a sudden I'm feeling anxious in the house, I live alone and just came home from a friends house and just feel really nervous in here. Is this normal to get waves of anxiety early on??? ...
I sound mad I know but I keep imagining someone breaking in or being downstairs and so on... Don't feel settled at all, hoping it passes, not liking this feeling at all
...Other than this I'm doing great, not even wanting a drop of that poison! Feel really positive just having a nervous, anxious feeling being home alone.
K x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Caledon, ON
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by Kit2017 
Just checking in AGAIN lol...
21:55 here...
Day 12 today and I'm feeling so good but all of a sudden I'm feeling anxious in the house, I live alone and just came home from a friends house and just feel really nervous in here. Is this normal to get waves of anxiety early on??? ...
I sound mad I know but I keep imagining someone breaking in or being downstairs and so on... Don't feel settled at all, hoping it passes, not liking this feeling at all ...
Other than this I'm doing great, not even wanting a drop of that poison! Feel really positive just having a nervous, anxious feeling being home alone.
K x
21:55 here...
Day 12 today and I'm feeling so good but all of a sudden I'm feeling anxious in the house, I live alone and just came home from a friends house and just feel really nervous in here. Is this normal to get waves of anxiety early on??? ...
I sound mad I know but I keep imagining someone breaking in or being downstairs and so on... Don't feel settled at all, hoping it passes, not liking this feeling at all
...Other than this I'm doing great, not even wanting a drop of that poison! Feel really positive just having a nervous, anxious feeling being home alone.
K x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
rmeatgt350
Thanks for the reassurance, means alot!
Makes you feel like you're going mad, I'm in bed now having to push myself just to go downstairs for a herbal tea as I just feel nervous. Small price to pay I guess to be sober but I know if I had a couple of glasses of wine I'd feel fine... BUT....Not a chance!!!! I'll ride it out and keep checking in on here, really is a lifeline, it's getting me through this first stage without a doubt!
Not sure I'll sleep much tonight, feel very unsettled, I've had quite a lot of exercise today and it's now 22:20 and pitch black outside, with feeling anxious I don't feel like venturing anywhere.
K x
Thanks for the reassurance, means alot!
Makes you feel like you're going mad, I'm in bed now having to push myself just to go downstairs for a herbal tea as I just feel nervous. Small price to pay I guess to be sober but I know if I had a couple of glasses of wine I'd feel fine... BUT....Not a chance!!!! I'll ride it out and keep checking in on here, really is a lifeline, it's getting me through this first stage without a doubt!
Not sure I'll sleep much tonight, feel very unsettled, I've had quite a lot of exercise today and it's now 22:20 and pitch black outside, with feeling anxious I don't feel like venturing anywhere.
K x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,099
Totally normal Kit, do not mean to be disrespectful, but being sober makes you aware of other senses that were "drowned" out before. Have you thought about taking self defense classes? They have given me confidence in myself and my ability to face the world, not to mention a great source of exercise.
I however have been hovering here because I am in baking mode and am unused to doing it without a glass of wine in my hand, so following the recipe correctly is a new thing for me. Baking soda vs baking powder, its the little things,,,,,, So far 2 loaves of pumpkin bread, one loaf of banana bread and a banana/pumpkin bread mix. Cross your fingers.
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I however have been hovering here because I am in baking mode and am unused to doing it without a glass of wine in my hand, so following the recipe correctly is a new thing for me. Baking soda vs baking powder, its the little things,,,,,, So far 2 loaves of pumpkin bread, one loaf of banana bread and a banana/pumpkin bread mix. Cross your fingers.
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Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
badgerden
Thank you
The baking sounds good! Banana bread, yum!
Funny you mention the self defense classes as I just took a number down for some from a shop window add I saw today!!! It said martial arts / self defense / body combat.
Maybe I should bite the bullet and get myself there!
Let me know how the baking turns out!
K x
Thank you
The baking sounds good! Banana bread, yum!
Funny you mention the self defense classes as I just took a number down for some from a shop window add I saw today!!! It said martial arts / self defense / body combat.
Maybe I should bite the bullet and get myself there!
Let me know how the baking turns out!
K x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 247
Congratulations to everyone for sticking it out!
The depression, anxiety, feeling and talking through it all. Kudos!
Kit- I too want to take a martial arts class. Always wanted to. I've been thinking about what I need to substitute my addiction with. I think finding something whether it be running, knitting, martial arts, photography, painting; something healthy to take up that void would only be a benefit. Find what I used to be passionate about. I know for me there's tons of things I've always wanted to do. It's just a matter of figuring it out... the piano was my first love. Always wanted to learn.
It's funny, I used to be a dreamer. I used to dream of all the things I wanted but got beaten down so hard I hardly believed I deserved anything good anymore. Screw that!
I know I need to take it easy, especially with my history of constant struggle with staying sober and that stinking thinking. As my ex used to say, "it's simple stupid."
I hated that, but it's true.
Day3 and thanks everyone for being here!
The depression, anxiety, feeling and talking through it all. Kudos!
Kit- I too want to take a martial arts class. Always wanted to. I've been thinking about what I need to substitute my addiction with. I think finding something whether it be running, knitting, martial arts, photography, painting; something healthy to take up that void would only be a benefit. Find what I used to be passionate about. I know for me there's tons of things I've always wanted to do. It's just a matter of figuring it out... the piano was my first love. Always wanted to learn.
It's funny, I used to be a dreamer. I used to dream of all the things I wanted but got beaten down so hard I hardly believed I deserved anything good anymore. Screw that!
I know I need to take it easy, especially with my history of constant struggle with staying sober and that stinking thinking. As my ex used to say, "it's simple stupid."
I hated that, but it's true.
Day3 and thanks everyone for being here!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Originally Posted by biminiblue
Stubbs, I'm not an AAer either, but I did go in the beginning and a lot of the stuff really does apply.
"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today," is one line from the book I remember.
Also in early recovery I had that Serenity Prayer on a loop in my head. It straightened out my thinking on a lot of stuff. It really applies to all of life.
Family. Yeah. I hear ya. I got into recovery BECAUSE of my family in 1989. I was done with everyone elses' dramas. I just could not do it any more.
So I read just about every self-help book known to woman, went to a few therapy session, found a personal mentor, went to church, quit drinking, temporarily cut off contact with the problematic people, and eventually healed myself.
It's out there if you want it. Recovery is available to everyone.
"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today," is one line from the book I remember.
Also in early recovery I had that Serenity Prayer on a loop in my head. It straightened out my thinking on a lot of stuff. It really applies to all of life.
Family. Yeah. I hear ya. I got into recovery BECAUSE of my family in 1989. I was done with everyone elses' dramas. I just could not do it any more.
So I read just about every self-help book known to woman, went to a few therapy session, found a personal mentor, went to church, quit drinking, temporarily cut off contact with the problematic people, and eventually healed myself.
It's out there if you want it. Recovery is available to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Day 12...but is it? Do we count the day we stopped as a day? I think I'm counting wrong. My first sober day was Oct 12th.
Lot's of posts today. Dreamcatcher - congrats on 1 month. Izzy8 - hope you are feeling better. Stubbs - "sick and tired of this crap"...ditto!
BigShoe - got an email saying I passed the assessment test and they want to move forward to a 2nd phone interview tomorrow. Thank goodness I've been sober....that test was tricky and TIMED.
badgarden - I can smell the pumpkin bread just reading your post!
Lots of good people in this class...and I read all your posts. I'm feeling tired, but doing pretty good today. Thanks for everything....
Lot's of posts today. Dreamcatcher - congrats on 1 month. Izzy8 - hope you are feeling better. Stubbs - "sick and tired of this crap"...ditto!
BigShoe - got an email saying I passed the assessment test and they want to move forward to a 2nd phone interview tomorrow. Thank goodness I've been sober....that test was tricky and TIMED.
badgarden - I can smell the pumpkin bread just reading your post!
Lots of good people in this class...and I read all your posts. I'm feeling tired, but doing pretty good today. Thanks for everything....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Originally Posted by Kit2017
I'm good at my job and now sober and clear headed there's no reason I can't do it but I'm having to do in 10 days what would be done over a month. This week is crucial so all please cross your fingers for me, say a prayer or what ever you think will help,
badgerden - i know...I spelled your name wrong in my other post!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 247
I can relate to the depression and boredom myself. I also get social anxiety, so I spend a lot of time alone.
I know for me I'm going to have to start going to meetings.
When I had four years sober I was pretty involved with that.
I've been thinking a lot about it and plan on giving it another try. I do plan on going this Wednesday. I need to make some physical connections with others that are especially in these early stages and those with time under their belts.
But that's just my plan. I remember having a lot of fun hanging out with everyone back n the day- like all of you. It's too bad we can't all meet up and have some of that pumpkin bread!
I know for me I'm going to have to start going to meetings.
When I had four years sober I was pretty involved with that.
I've been thinking a lot about it and plan on giving it another try. I do plan on going this Wednesday. I need to make some physical connections with others that are especially in these early stages and those with time under their belts.
But that's just my plan. I remember having a lot of fun hanging out with everyone back n the day- like all of you. It's too bad we can't all meet up and have some of that pumpkin bread!
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