AladdinSane

Well, the past year was a mixed bag. I did a 21 day rehab stint last September. Since then, I have had about 6 months of mixed sober time. I had a 74 day stint, and a run of 89 of 90 days, also. Plus some smaller stints in there, 10, 16 days, etc...

Anyway, I have been on a 2.5 month meltdown. About a case of beer everyday. And some bad legal complications recently. And well, work...have only worked 1/2 day in 2.5 months. So everything is kinda going south. I also have some issues with bipolar, anxiety, and ptsd....so you know, it is a rocky landscape, of sorts.

Anyway, I am not whining. Just stopping in at a place where I know that others have been in these shoes. I'd like to think I can recover, but sometimes it seems like this addiction is definitely going to kill me! I guess I am in search of a little "hope".

LastDrop

Welcome back I can definitely relate to this statement. Since I give in to the hopeless thinking all the time I just continue circling down the drain. Its time for us to grab hope and hang on to it! We dont have to allow ourselves to be killed by our addictions. But the only way to disallow is to stay sober.

Anna

Welcome back!

You must not give up hope because addiction is relentless. I'm glad you're back and you will always find support here, and hope.

Hope and plan and follow through with your plan. What can you add to your plan so that you can continue a sober life?

Dee74

Welcome back

I really believe addiction can be beaten - with the right support, the right changes and the willingness to do both

I was an all day everyday drinker - now I'm, sober over ten years...there is always hope

I guess the question is - do you think you have enough support and do you think you've made enough changes in your life to stay sober for good this time AS?

Could you do more?

D

AladdinSane

Yes, no doubt I could do more. I feel like, after all these years, I have some brain damage that is hindering me. This past year I kept falling off, and then getting back on track. But I feel addiction is like a constricting snake...when I take a breath of sobriety, it tightens up. Making it harder and harder.

Hats

Welcome back Aladdin
Sounds like you've dug yourself a pretty deep hole. I can relate to the feeling of sinking deeper and deeper.
But.... there is hope, there is help and people do care.

Dee74

While I'm not dismissing the possibility it really sounds like something an addict voice would say.

As long as you know right from wrong and can reach out for support when you need it, I think you're good - you have all the brainpower you need and all the willingness and opportunity the rest of us have had to quit

We're meant to be free of drugs and drink.
Don't listen to the AV.

D