40 days and then I drank but....
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I know I am a broken record - and tone can be hard to "hear" online - but from me, I am always speaking with compassionate truth - reality. Not discouragement of anyone trying again, for however many-th time, but of the dire reality of the consequences of our disease.
Time and again, people who think they've got it - and I hear that in your posts, along with some conflicting comments about drinking or not, what you really want, etc- or will always have a chance to try again - or who give an inch of space to the possibility of it....are back here (or not) eventually, because a subsequent relapse of BIG proportions happened....or even some small ingestion led to dire consequences. It is with hope and truth that I always try to share what I have observed (people relapsing and not coming back, and even losing people to suicide or other manner of death- just in my 20 mo sober) and what I know to be true, for me.
Time and again, people who think they've got it - and I hear that in your posts, along with some conflicting comments about drinking or not, what you really want, etc- or will always have a chance to try again - or who give an inch of space to the possibility of it....are back here (or not) eventually, because a subsequent relapse of BIG proportions happened....or even some small ingestion led to dire consequences. It is with hope and truth that I always try to share what I have observed (people relapsing and not coming back, and even losing people to suicide or other manner of death- just in my 20 mo sober) and what I know to be true, for me.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
My mother gave me AA, alcoholism and arthritis. I was interested on your mention of an eating disorder. Being that I was way underweight and suffering malnutrition when I got sober, I wondered if there were any similarities.
My main thing was drinking, and I found food got in the way of that. I could not drink my fill with a belly full of food, so I left the food. Then after a day or two, even if I was hungry, my stomach was so messed up I couldn't eat more than a mouthful.
I don't know of that is similar to you, but I do know that the combination of end stage alcoholism and malnutrition completely disrupted normal brain function. I pretty much lost the ability to think, reason or make even small decisions.
My main thing was drinking, and I found food got in the way of that. I could not drink my fill with a belly full of food, so I left the food. Then after a day or two, even if I was hungry, my stomach was so messed up I couldn't eat more than a mouthful.
I don't know of that is similar to you, but I do know that the combination of end stage alcoholism and malnutrition completely disrupted normal brain function. I pretty much lost the ability to think, reason or make even small decisions.
When alcohol came in, I didn't care anymore (i used to avoid drinking because of the calories), it wasn't as embarassing, i didn't need to hide or clean public toilets after myself and look to literally escape. It not only freed me but replaced my calorie intake so that I wouldn't avoid or go on a binge.
The ED consumed my life to a greater extent whereby I could not think straight, concentrate, or have any kind of relationship because I was so disgusted with my own self.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by Stronger2017
Hi Caprice6. I’m glad to see you posting again. 7 days is a good start. Take care🙂
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by August252015
I know I am a broken record - and tone can be hard to "hear" online - but from me, I am always speaking with compassionate truth - reality. Not discouragement of anyone trying again, for however many-th time, but of the dire reality of the consequences of our disease.
Time and again, people who think they've got it - and I hear that in your posts, along with some conflicting comments about drinking or not, what you really want, etc- or will always have a chance to try again - or who give an inch of space to the possibility of it....are back here (or not) eventually, because a subsequent relapse of BIG proportions happened....or even some small ingestion led to dire consequences. It is with hope and truth that I always try to share what I have observed (people relapsing and not coming back, and even losing people to suicide or other manner of death- just in my 20 mo sober) and what I know to be true, for me.
Time and again, people who think they've got it - and I hear that in your posts, along with some conflicting comments about drinking or not, what you really want, etc- or will always have a chance to try again - or who give an inch of space to the possibility of it....are back here (or not) eventually, because a subsequent relapse of BIG proportions happened....or even some small ingestion led to dire consequences. It is with hope and truth that I always try to share what I have observed (people relapsing and not coming back, and even losing people to suicide or other manner of death- just in my 20 mo sober) and what I know to be true, for me.
it makes me feel so trapped and imprisoned though.I really am hoping that my meeting with the shrink will help because I feel actually worse after some time sober, which is why I always relapsed in every way.
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