This will be my final Day 1
 

I have had several Day 1's since joining SR back in February. Each Day 1 I have been in worse shape (both physically and mentally) than the previous Day 1. I am sick and will die if I do not stop drinking. My recovery has to be number 1. I haven't fully taken advantage of SR and all of the help available here. I am excited to begin this journey and thank you for all of your support.

Glad to here you are taking your sobriety more seriously!
Remember you are "Ready-to-do-this"!
It is important that you stick with us for support. You can do this! Please join the Oct 2017 Class and make a committment each day. We are all here for you. Stay strong!

Thanks Chloe! I joined the class a couple of weeks ago, but plan on being more active and involved than I had been. During my short spurts of sobriety, I felt the best I ever had. I can't wait to feel that way again :)

You will if you keep staying strong and committed to being sober. Life is short as it is and drinking is not the way you want to end it. Once you finally realize how much you have wasted being drunk all those years you will want to start really living a better life. Give yourself the chance.

Trying to stay busy on my final Day 1. Cleaning/laundry, walk with my daughter and s/o, feeding her lunch now and then planning to go out to buy pumpkins and mums. I am feeling some anxiety about returning to work tomorrow-I called in sick Wednesday and Thursday and already had Friday off, so haven't been there since last Tuesday. Work obviously got in the way of my drinking. Ridiculous! Anyways, I plan to post at least daily on this thread for the foreseeable future....my accountability thread, if you will.

I had to laugh when I read that you had called in sick as it reminded me of what I did a few years ago. I was too sick to go in to work so I called in and told them that my mother had died, they offered me their condolences, and told me not to worry about work.

A couple of weeks later I had to call in sick again as I was too drunk to make it in. They asked me the reason and, forgetting my previous excuse, I told them that my mother had died!!

My contract of employment was terminated not soon after!

We really are a sorry lot when we're drunk aren't we. Is there a pattern to your picking up. Are the thoughts / moods preceding it similar? Can you identify a trigger?

Often mine was either being too happy and cocky, or too depressed. Being Bi Polar that's a bit of a bugger.

Lol Shaun, great story! I think when I pick up after a couple of weeks or months, it's because I think I can moderate and drink "normally." Obviously that is completely false and impossible for me. I have to play the tape forward, take it a day at a time-I know that I can be successful in recovery.

I'm still really nervous about work tomorrow... ;)

Why are you nervous? They thought you were sick, right?

Yes, but it has happened so many times...I am ashamed to say that I told them I got sick then my daughter got sick. The lies....

You can make it your last Day 1, Ready! All the best to you, onward and upward.

Thank you Snazzy, I know I got this. It's time and I have too much to live and be healthy for. I am excited (cautiously, of course) to meet the sober me.

Make it your First and only Day One, or better yet change the nomenclature , the AV already has possession of it.
I think IT has you convinced whatever you were doing /calling it before was something more of a break-taking as opposed to an enough is enough event. When you keep calling those days by that name , they can come to mean 'the last time I stopped' in stead of the day I Quit days. You/we start talking thinking about them as though they can do reoccur, it becomes its habit, nip that in the bud.

Freedom Day, or Liberation Day , or actual FU AV Day, something that makes it Yours and not ITs.

Rootin for ya

Yes!!! Thank you for this post. Absolutely right! I like FU AV Day...has a nice ring to it :)

Speak for yourself. Can't say I've ever used such an excuse.

In fairness, I don't think you can entirely blame alcohol for giving an excuse like that....twice. Some might say that would be down to certain morals and values. Could be worth investigating.

I remember a friend of mine (well rather a member of the group I was hanging with) used that excuse to call in sick one day. We were early twenties. His excuse was kind of frowned upon by the others.....who were no angels (drug dealers amongst them)....

....say something against their mothers....and there would be a physical confrontation.

Just saying, sometimes blaming the drink.......it's often not accurate.

Relaxing, drinking coffee and watching the Patriots game. About to get my little lady up from a nap. Will probably make some salmon for dinner and have a low key night. It feels great to be sober today. I don't know when the last Sunday was that I was sober. Thanks for the support everyone! In it to win it!

And, it's only about 4:30 here....usually, I'm sh--faced by now!

I would add what you are feeling right now about the lies and deceit that you exhibit to your 'play-it-forward' tape. So when you think about drinking you also think about how awful you feel about being a lying, deceiving person to those around you.Not a good example to set for your daughter.

Absolutely!

Hi Ready. :) You sound very determined & motivated. We have to be - or all our attempts fall flat. I was doing the same thing - lying to work - to everyone. Taking chances, putting myself in danger - it was a living nightmare. It felt so good to finally be free of it & to allow my authentic self to come out of hiding.

You're going to do this. :)

I've also lied through my teeth to work and start again tomorrow, easier for me being from home but I still work for the office and still go in for meetings and feel also so ashamed about how much "sickness" I've had.
The thing is this can be the final time we do it! :)

If we stay sober we need never have to feel this anxiety and worry in the pit of our stomachs again!