Ready to stay sober for life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Today is going good so far. Feel good just finished up breakfast. Spent a good amount of time last night reading in the secular forum which was very motivating. I think one thing that came out of my reading is that I have an issue with being overly positive. As I read and related to peoples posts that tiny voice wants to chime in and say 'but, but, but'.
But I know my time is now.
I control my life and I choose to be a non-drinker.
But I know my time is now.
I control my life and I choose to be a non-drinker.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Congratulations on your decision! Any doubt in your ability to remain abstinent or thoughts of future drinking is AV, recognize them and dismiss them out of hand, no debating once you freely choose to quit 
AVRT really resonated with me , start a thread with any questions in Sec Connections , read through all the threads , esp the long discussion ones, great stuff in them.
The secret , I've found, is accepting the idea that the Beast and its AV may never fully disappear, but my resolve to never be a drunk again means I can remain fully committed to abstinence and comfortably so even in the face of desire, the alternative is pure hell, been there done that
Again congrats, the more you knock the AV down by dismissal, the less 'powerful' its pathetic whining becomes and in time the less frequent IT pops up.
wish you well and hope to see you around
AVRT really resonated with me , start a thread with any questions in Sec Connections , read through all the threads , esp the long discussion ones, great stuff in them.
The secret , I've found, is accepting the idea that the Beast and its AV may never fully disappear, but my resolve to never be a drunk again means I can remain fully committed to abstinence and comfortably so even in the face of desire, the alternative is pure hell, been there done that
Again congrats, the more you knock the AV down by dismissal, the less 'powerful' its pathetic whining becomes and in time the less frequent IT pops up.
wish you well and hope to see you around
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Absolutely will. Theres plenty of self doubt noise that floats through but it is not affecting me I am staying positive and I know I will succeed.
Time is flying its another sober day.
I got a great hug from each of my kids and wife this morning and I am now on break at work.
A lot of delayed hopes and dreams are coming into focus I have lots to do. Not gonna be bored and trying to remain focused on gratitude for the good life I have.
Time is flying its another sober day.
I got a great hug from each of my kids and wife this morning and I am now on break at work.
A lot of delayed hopes and dreams are coming into focus I have lots to do. Not gonna be bored and trying to remain focused on gratitude for the good life I have.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Still here still sober.
Time is flying. I can hardly remember that last hangover by now. Healthwise I am feeling great. Well rested. I love sober sleep OMG.
AV has been pretty quiet. He will surely rear his ugly head sometime but there will be no negotiations.
I am happy I have all of my time and life back for healthy activity.
Boring updates here I know but I gotta keep close to SR. You guys are my lifeline.
Time is flying. I can hardly remember that last hangover by now. Healthwise I am feeling great. Well rested. I love sober sleep OMG.
AV has been pretty quiet. He will surely rear his ugly head sometime but there will be no negotiations.
I am happy I have all of my time and life back for healthy activity.
Boring updates here I know but I gotta keep close to SR. You guys are my lifeline.
congrats on being happy, healthy and well-rested!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
So I just returned from a business trip in US.
What I dont miss?
-trying to figure out how much alcohol I can include on dinner exp without looking fishy.
-politely excusing myself from group after dinner, as they go out to bar. No looks, full support.
- waking up before my alarm goes off and feeling great for first meeting.
- seeing colleagues scamper in to show exhausted, hung over and reeking of alcohol, and me thanking God Im not them.
What I dont miss?
-trying to figure out how much alcohol I can include on dinner exp without looking fishy.
-politely excusing myself from group after dinner, as they go out to bar. No looks, full support.
- waking up before my alarm goes off and feeling great for first meeting.
- seeing colleagues scamper in to show exhausted, hung over and reeking of alcohol, and me thanking God Im not them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Happy saturday morning I am just waking up. Saw this post up top. In the beginning of it I thought I could post twice a day but now luckily theres not much to update.
Staying clean and sober.
I have been busy with normal life stuff just work, wife, kids, house and the like. Other than that I just try to rest. I do lots of reading on SR.
As far as the drinking problems I have not wanted to drink or really thought too much about it. Any ideas about drinking have been about the future. Like when I go for thanksgiving to visit family.
Even though every time I have attempted moderation it has eventually led to the blackouts, bad behaviors, and sobriety attempts I still entertain the idea I can control my drinking. Or drink and get away with it.
I know these thoughts are AV.
Amazing the changes in thinking less than one month after the last train wreck.
It is apparent to me I need to make that decision surrounding the holidays.
And I believe in my ability to do it.
Staying clean and sober.
I have been busy with normal life stuff just work, wife, kids, house and the like. Other than that I just try to rest. I do lots of reading on SR.
As far as the drinking problems I have not wanted to drink or really thought too much about it. Any ideas about drinking have been about the future. Like when I go for thanksgiving to visit family.
Even though every time I have attempted moderation it has eventually led to the blackouts, bad behaviors, and sobriety attempts I still entertain the idea I can control my drinking. Or drink and get away with it.
I know these thoughts are AV.
Amazing the changes in thinking less than one month after the last train wreck.
It is apparent to me I need to make that decision surrounding the holidays.
And I believe in my ability to do it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by LastDrop 
Happy saturday morning I am just waking up. Saw this post up top. In the beginning of it I thought I could post twice a day but now luckily theres not much to update.
Staying clean and sober.
I have been busy with normal life stuff just work, wife, kids, house and the like. Other than that I just try to rest. I do lots of reading on SR.
As far as the drinking problems I have not wanted to drink or really thought too much about it. Any ideas about drinking have been about the future. Like when I go for thanksgiving to visit family.
Even though every time I have attempted moderation it has eventually led to the blackouts, bad behaviors, and sobriety attempts I still entertain the idea I can control my drinking. Or drink and get away with it.
Amazing the changes in thinking less than one month after the last train wreck.
It is apparent to me I need to make that decision surrounding the holidays.
Staying clean and sober.
I have been busy with normal life stuff just work, wife, kids, house and the like. Other than that I just try to rest. I do lots of reading on SR.
As far as the drinking problems I have not wanted to drink or really thought too much about it. Any ideas about drinking have been about the future. Like when I go for thanksgiving to visit family.
Even though every time I have attempted moderation it has eventually led to the blackouts, bad behaviors, and sobriety attempts I still entertain the idea I can control my drinking. Or drink and get away with it.
Amazing the changes in thinking less than one month after the last train wreck.
It is apparent to me I need to make that decision surrounding the holidays.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Being sober for me isn't a struggle, it's the natural order of 'things'. Being present without the comfortable numbness or the soon promise of it , is different at first, but that is really just part of the pipers due , yeah?
Not drinking is a huge struggle for my Beast, too bad for It. I'm much better for not indulging It. My AV will always try and convince Me I miss drinking and that I am depriving myself of something but it always lies , I can tell because its answer for everything is booze. The only struggle that would be relieved by drinking , is ITs struggle to get it. Boozing never once stood me well, no matter how many times I tried . Hang in there , Nothing Sucks Forever , well except being a Beast cut off from its precious stuff , by Me
Not drinking is a huge struggle for my Beast, too bad for It. I'm much better for not indulging It. My AV will always try and convince Me I miss drinking and that I am depriving myself of something but it always lies , I can tell because its answer for everything is booze. The only struggle that would be relieved by drinking , is ITs struggle to get it. Boozing never once stood me well, no matter how many times I tried . Hang in there , Nothing Sucks Forever , well except being a Beast cut off from its precious stuff , by Me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Been a few busy days. But luckily its just another boring update. Still sober.
I did have a fight on my hands today. Had some emotional stuff going down at work over the past few days. Quite stressful. After leaving work today the wife and kids were in another town so I wanted to get dinner. Had an errand to run next door to a Mexican restaurant I like.
Of course I thought Ill go grab some food, but next thing you know the thought of drinking a margarita popped in my head. I considered it for a few minutes too.
I was happy after though as I recognized it for being AV. I reminded myself I do not want a margarita. I want to drink 4 margaritas, hit the liquor store, uber home and have some shots and beers at home after. Wake up hungover and needing to go get my car and hating life.
I finished up the errand then drove to a burger joint which does not serve alcohol. Ate a nice greasy junk food meal to make myself feel better now I am home watching tv and hanging out with my family.
Much better.
I did have a fight on my hands today. Had some emotional stuff going down at work over the past few days. Quite stressful. After leaving work today the wife and kids were in another town so I wanted to get dinner. Had an errand to run next door to a Mexican restaurant I like.
Of course I thought Ill go grab some food, but next thing you know the thought of drinking a margarita popped in my head. I considered it for a few minutes too.
I was happy after though as I recognized it for being AV. I reminded myself I do not want a margarita. I want to drink 4 margaritas, hit the liquor store, uber home and have some shots and beers at home after. Wake up hungover and needing to go get my car and hating life.
I finished up the errand then drove to a burger joint which does not serve alcohol. Ate a nice greasy junk food meal to make myself feel better now I am home watching tv and hanging out with my family.
Much better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
I reminded myself I do not want a margarita. I want to drink 4 margaritas, hit the liquor store, uber home and have some shots and beers at home after. Wake up hungover and needing to go get my car and hating life.
^^^^ Ha, I liked this! So accurate.
^^^^ Ha, I liked this! So accurate.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Dang. Sorry to hear that. My problem is get some sobriety going and then I think I can handle a drink or two, but...... multiple relapses for me.
I am on Day 2. Ready for Day 3. Going to my second AA meeting tonight. Have you thought about AA?
I am on Day 2. Ready for Day 3. Going to my second AA meeting tonight. Have you thought about AA?
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Don't start over, decide to be finished.
The AV starts over trying to convince you that your thoughts are intertwined with IT.
IT gets you to think "I want to drink", you lose the separation between it , the desire, and your resolve to be free of the cycles of drudgery.
Recognition, separation and dismissal. In your previous posts you mentioned recognizing the AV , the voice of the desire( the Beast) in your 'minds ear', but it doesn't seem you kept the separation, at some point you adopted Its urge as your own , ?
Make a Big Plan, let IT know You are done, IT will never be, but who cares, ITs problem.
rootin for ya
The AV starts over trying to convince you that your thoughts are intertwined with IT.
IT gets you to think "I want to drink", you lose the separation between it , the desire, and your resolve to be free of the cycles of drudgery.
Recognition, separation and dismissal. In your previous posts you mentioned recognizing the AV , the voice of the desire( the Beast) in your 'minds ear', but it doesn't seem you kept the separation, at some point you adopted Its urge as your own , ?
Make a Big Plan, let IT know You are done, IT will never be, but who cares, ITs problem.
rootin for ya
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