Ready to stay sober for life
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Staying busy definitely helps. Use SR as much as possible as well. I practically lived on SR the first few months. Everyone here helped me get through the rough times. You got this. Before you know it, you'll be past the worst of it and you will never have to feel this way again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 9
Last drop
Hi ,
I am so happy to hear people doing well ,
I had a month sober on this website( I'm 31) and decided to drink socially again ..we had a big work night out and it involved a walk and drinking and starting at 4 pm .. I get very flirtatious when drunk and gave one of my close work colleagues (who's a lot older than me a peck on the lips) honestly he's like a big brother to me but we're I work is vicious for rumers so one girl is saying I was proper kissing him ( which was not the case) although a stupid think to do it's all because of stupid drink ..I feel like an idiot .. nobody to blame but myself ..
so here I am starting again .. feeling awful and I know my post sounds pathetic
I am so happy to hear people doing well ,
I had a month sober on this website( I'm 31) and decided to drink socially again ..we had a big work night out and it involved a walk and drinking and starting at 4 pm .. I get very flirtatious when drunk and gave one of my close work colleagues (who's a lot older than me a peck on the lips) honestly he's like a big brother to me but we're I work is vicious for rumers so one girl is saying I was proper kissing him ( which was not the case) although a stupid think to do it's all because of stupid drink ..I feel like an idiot .. nobody to blame but myself ..
so here I am starting again .. feeling awful and I know my post sounds pathetic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Hi Rosa, I can relate to the shame and embarrassment.. I cant live like that anymore. My whole life gets caught up in what everyone else must think of me, then I go get drunk again. Dont know whats supposed to be fun about that.
I am on day 5 this morning. And definitely feeling much better already.
I am on day 5 this morning. And definitely feeling much better already.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Luckily hangover is all gone. Slept nicely last night. So happy that is the LAST hangover for me - EVER.
There have been hundreds.
I have always bargained with my addiction saying things in my head that I can drink after a month, 3, 6, etc. And that just left the door open to drink anytime.
This time I know unequivocally that any amount of booze would lead me back to last weekend. Honestly I would rather die then go back there.
I still have a lot of guilt shame and remorse and embarrassment for all I have done to myself, my family, and my friends... sometimes complete strangers. Those things will just take time to resolve. But drinking another drop of booze is completely unacceptable.
There have been hundreds.
I have always bargained with my addiction saying things in my head that I can drink after a month, 3, 6, etc. And that just left the door open to drink anytime.
This time I know unequivocally that any amount of booze would lead me back to last weekend. Honestly I would rather die then go back there.
I still have a lot of guilt shame and remorse and embarrassment for all I have done to myself, my family, and my friends... sometimes complete strangers. Those things will just take time to resolve. But drinking another drop of booze is completely unacceptable.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Workin round the house today. Thankfully its dark out now. I am ready for bed. All of a sudden I had a bit of a panic attack again out of nowhere. Read around the forum and relaxed a bit its going away.
I just want time to pass
I just want time to pass
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
LastDrop - I always wished I had kept a journal. Written down the thoughts & feelings I was having when I was first getting sober. Mainly, I wish I had recorded the way the 'last hangover' felt, the remorse & misery it brought me. Sometimes the memories grow dim & we forget how painful it was. We don't need to dwell on the past - but when we're tempted, it's good to have something to refer to.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Very true Hevyn I wished I did that in the past. If I could go back and read my posts hopefully I would not convince myself to try moderation one more time. My hope with this was to start fresh and try to post twice a day at least just to gain some momentum. I think its working so far.
I am emberrasssed to post every detail of my last drunks but I think with this I can always recall how bad it got.
I am emberrasssed to post every detail of my last drunks but I think with this I can always recall how bad it got.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Good morning all
Just woke up. Had a nice evening with the wife and kids last night. Put the kids to bed then caught up on some tv and relaxed. Got good sleep again, I think I can get used to this!
Cannot remember why I thought I enjoyed drinking in the first place.
I had not told my wife I was quitting (again) until last night. We were discussing health issues and I mentioned that I am done with booze.
Just woke up. Had a nice evening with the wife and kids last night. Put the kids to bed then caught up on some tv and relaxed. Got good sleep again, I think I can get used to this!
Cannot remember why I thought I enjoyed drinking in the first place.
I had not told my wife I was quitting (again) until last night. We were discussing health issues and I mentioned that I am done with booze.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Morning again.
Today is day 7. Slept wonderfully last night. No real nagging physical problems to speak of. Mentally I have been good and bad. When good I am peaceful and calm and content. Then a switch flips and I am anxious, exhausted, and stressed out.
Went to a party last night with my wife. Whole bunch of old friends. It was good to see people and catch up. Most of us are old users and drinkers. A few were sober but most not. I only stayed 2 hours and left early. Just wanted to say Happy Birthday really.
Ate some good food and talked.
My wife had a couple beers and I was DD.
I always notice something when I am sober I can smell alcohol from a mile away. Like if my wife drinks half a beer it is so strong smelling.
Anyway totally random post lol.
We talked about my drinking problems on the way home. She asked if I am alcoholic I said I dont know but the name doesnt matter its the way booze affects me and I am done with it.
So day 7 is starting quietly. Kids were up late so they are asleep. I am reading here and praying to make it through day 7.
AV has not really popped up yet. When I do get a suggestion it is usually a phantom taste of a craft beer I liked. But if I could keep it to beer... I would not be here!
Today is day 7. Slept wonderfully last night. No real nagging physical problems to speak of. Mentally I have been good and bad. When good I am peaceful and calm and content. Then a switch flips and I am anxious, exhausted, and stressed out.
Went to a party last night with my wife. Whole bunch of old friends. It was good to see people and catch up. Most of us are old users and drinkers. A few were sober but most not. I only stayed 2 hours and left early. Just wanted to say Happy Birthday really.
Ate some good food and talked.
My wife had a couple beers and I was DD.
I always notice something when I am sober I can smell alcohol from a mile away. Like if my wife drinks half a beer it is so strong smelling.
Anyway totally random post lol.
We talked about my drinking problems on the way home. She asked if I am alcoholic I said I dont know but the name doesnt matter its the way booze affects me and I am done with it.
So day 7 is starting quietly. Kids were up late so they are asleep. I am reading here and praying to make it through day 7.
AV has not really popped up yet. When I do get a suggestion it is usually a phantom taste of a craft beer I liked. But if I could keep it to beer... I would not be here!
I'm glad you're feeling quite good & getting some rest.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Day 7 did not end well. Went to the in laws and ended up drinking a glass of beer. Knew I shouldnt go over there to begin with. Tried to get out of it and nothing was working. I know this is the cycle starting up all over again. The AV just wants me to keep going little by little. Not gonna do it.
Day 1 again
Day 1 again
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
LastDrop - that happened to me, & I was disappointed - but it reinforced what I already knew - I couldn't touch the stuff. You learned something, & you didn't let it turn into a binge.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 67
Yes I plan to go back to AA. My AV is all over me. I really dislike being a binge drinking alcoholic because its so easy to lie to myself. Until the next binge.
Today, I feel wonderful, so it would be easy to start thinking theres no problem when in fact theres major problems.
Today, I feel wonderful, so it would be easy to start thinking theres no problem when in fact theres major problems.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi LastDrop - maybe a recovery plan could help too?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
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