LiveLikeGold6

And here I was all giddy about a post just for me! I though it was a chronic relapser daily check in thread lol.

But I am loving all the love in this thread.

MelSober

I just want to say that I have tears in my eyes at the nice things and show of community in this thread! I haven't relapsed (yet) but this is my 30th day and I know it could happen. It makes me feel like I can count on the support I truly need if I slip. Thank you all for being such a warm and caring community of people!

Chilledice

Awwww this put a proper smile on my face

We are always here for you, through thick and thin good times and bad!

notgonnastoptry

You don't know people's circumstances and if you don't feel like answering--honestly, don't. There are people here with a lot of tolerance and patience. I'm not one, so I don't answer those threads. But, many are. It takes all kinds. I had about three or four tries and it has stuck so far for 18 months. But, yeah, some people are more nurturing by nature. Those who relapse mean it as no personal offense to you.

Look at it this way--everyone who supported me the first few times I came here to quit "failed" "wasted time" according to you. But those who supported me on my final time (and I know there's overlap) are somehow victorious?

Do you realize how flawed your metric is for measuring people's behavior is?

At the end of the day, who cares?

I know I visited parenting boards for years sounding off about my ex-husband and our problems. Probably sounded like a broken record (this was all pre-booze). Thankfully, that board was a sounding board for me. Happens all the time, dude.

ulfr

i am relapser until a few years ago i stopped drinking and it was the right time for me to do that some people do need extra support i will support anyone first time or 100000 th time you can stop and i say anyone who tries to stop even to attempt to stop and stops even for a day are brave they drink again but if they are braver to try to stop again your a recovery warriors fighting the drink and drugs monster he a pain in the ass and is relentless but keep at it you'll make it weaker and weaker and in the end you can kill it it just takes some people a little longer

MindfulMan

I am hopefully a one-and-done who finally admitted I have a drinking problem during my first (and hopefully last) stint in inpatient rehab.

I say "hopefully" because I know better to take sobriety for granted.

Had I admitted to having a problem but not taken steps to obtaining and maintaining sobriety for life I'm sure I would have had a ton of relapses.

The first step for anyone is to realize that you have a real problem and, in the face of repeat withdrawal when trying to moderate, that sobriety for life is the answer.

I think relapse, often multiple relapses, are part of the process for many. I'd rather people come on here, admit they've relapsed and get support and accountability from the family here than continue to drink and/or use in silence. I'd also rather be given the opportunity to humbly offer my experience and support to the alcoholic/addict that is struggling than to remain helpless because they haven't asked for help.

bexxed

I joined in 2011, I believe. Came tumbling in realizing my life was falling apart. I was so determined to put it together.

For a few weeks.

I remember I bought a new car. I was two and a half weeks sober and had wrecked my car the day I stopped drinking. It wasn’t an alcohol related accident but I was horrified because there was no reason it wasn’t except that I hadn’t made it to the bar yet.

So I bought a new car and my friend said “we need to celebrate. Let’s go get margaritas! I hesitated, remembering the SR advice, decided that was too hard, and got the margaritas. Came back, I think I told People I slipped, then slipped again, was too ashamed to tell, because telling is also hard, then slowly faded away until the next time I decided enough was enough, I believe two years later.

And so on until August of 2016.

I became frustrated sometimes, internally, with people who came and went time after time. But when I examined those feelings I realized that my frustration was rooted in my desire to control an outcome I had no control over. It helps me stay sober to help others, but only if my investment lacks attachment. Treat others as you would be treated yourself.

That first round of sobriety I tried AA, and had a horrible experience because this lady was really attacking in front of a group of people, she basically shamed me. It was a control/power trip. I never went back to that meeting and it was shortly before the margarita episode.

If our help isn’t given without attachment or judgment then it’s not help. I’m so grateful that when I slithered in here again 15 months ago, I was met by Dee and Anna and Soberwolf and Tomsteve and Doggone Carl and others, with the same welcome and guidance I’d received umpteen, dozens of times before over FIVE YEARS. There was no magic in the specifics of what they said that wasn’t there the dozens of previous times they said it. The magic was something that I conjured, from in me, that time.

You really never do know. But I am for damn sure that if those same old words hadn’t been uttered my way on August 11, 2016, I would not be where I am now.

In Gratitude

B

skyfullofstars

Bexxed, that is so awful you went to AA and got treated like that. You reached out for help in the right place and a woman who should know better as she is in the same shoes made you feel like that. I am glad you are back on the right track

I guess another reason for my relapses is the classic "you're not an alcoholic, you're not that bad!" People still have this image in their head that you are only an alcoholic if you are drinking cheap cider out a paper bag, homeless, no teeth, look forty years older, etc.

I would think...hhmmm you're right, I'm not an alcoholic because I am not that bad! Basically I was as ignorant as them. You can still hold down a job, manage to look presentable and not drink too much in front of people and be an alcoholic. So in typical arrogant fashion I poo-pooed that little voice in my head telling me this isn't normal...and bought yet more booze. Rinse repeat.

I used to hide my drinking which is one of the major red flags of a problem. Going to different stores to spread it out. Hiding the bottles in the wardrobe before taking them to the big supermarket recycling bins.

Just because you rarely saw me wasted doesn't mean it wasn't happening.

Faith65

I am also fighting with chronic relapses. And so thankful that there are people here who understand. I had 43 days sober till last Friday. I am on day 2.

sweetichick

Over this thread. Hope someone closes it down. Noone knows why people continues to drink. This thread is one reason why I don't post anymore.

JScatt

I will ask that it be closed, I wouldn't want this thread to deter anyone from posting

Solarion

Sweetichick, I wonder how much of this thread you have read. A lot of support and understanding was expressed by many people who have gone through similar difficulties.

Best wishes for your recovery ...

Tang

I'm not qualified to post, but I feel some chronic relapsers may not have hit enough of a bottom to make long lasting change. Or possibly their recovery plan has big gaps. I'm a chronic relapser, so im guilty as charged.

JScatt

I didn't think I was qualified to even start this thread but out of curiosity I did.
I'm the king of relapses, lost two great jobs, friends and tons of money cause of my relapses...cuz when I relapsed I relapsed good, locked my self away and drank from morning till night.
I always thought that recovery was just not drinking and had no idea what the hell a "recovery plan" was til I started reading around here.

potatojuice

I think there are few first time wonders. Even regular severe beatings have not cured me. Relapse happens. I will figure it out or die, whichever comes first.

tomsteve

relapse does happen, but its not a requirement.

Strugglingtoget

Relapse is not required but it is a very common road for many of us who struggle with alcohol. Those who judge don’t matter. Those who matter don’t judge. We are all different, though we share a common problem. We have different minds, bodies, background, education, experiences, childhood traumas, etc. some of us are graced to be able to stop permanently once. Maybe because of their age and the stage of their problem. Maybe less brain damage. What is most rewarding and important about this thread is the extraordinary hope it offers to this who suffer with relapse. The stories here prove that even when we have relapsed often, there is hope for us to recover. We are neither alone nor hopeless. I just do not understand why someone would be annoyed or angry about someone else’s struggles and horrors. If the rest of us want to come here and support each other, that is admirable.

heavencanwait

I call it "groundhog day". I too have seen this with one certain person. I guess you have to want to stay sober without blaming everything and everyone around you as your reason to get drunk again. Going to the store to pick up wine is a choice, not a reason/excuse.

bluedog97

As a chronic relapser, I’ll just say it’s really ourselves that we get sober for. Unless you’re married with kids, you really owe it to no one else. If someone wants to drink, there’s no law against it.

That being said, I’m eternally grateful for SR and the members who never give up on helping or trying. It keeps the site going. And I know in AA they preach that it is in helping other alcoholics which keeps you sober.

If you want to help others, great. If not, dont. That’s ok too.

JScatt

This ^^^ Is exactly what I was thinking when I started this thread, maybe I should have worded it better.