In shock
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1
In shock
My husband of 7 years left 10 days ago. He says he cant do "this" and waved his arm over his head.
The day began when we went to the gym to swim, talking about our dinner plans and said our goodbye before work. We met at home frequently for lunch and all appeared fine.
I knew he had rx's for his pain, sleeping meds for insomnia, he had begun drinking. He said it wasn't his vice and he could do it. This was going on for a year or more. He told me two weeks ago about how at his family reunion we attended this summer how his siblings gave him pot. He says he didn't use it (his vice) but he hadn't told me about it for over 3 months. Says he gave it away.
He also had morphine pills, etc. Said he only used them when he had to.
To our kids and friends and myself we were happy. Together almost all the time, best friends.
He said it's his inner stuff..alot if the other demons have also been showing themselves, behaviors, acting out.
He left on a Tuesday and returned the next night.
Had an emotional breakdown which was frightening to watch. Hysterical at times, panicked saying he is broken and lost. Feels he is repeating when his Mom left him as a child. She has told us many times how she regrets it and it was a mistake. He went to see an ex from his teen years (30 years ago) when he was using.
I am in so much pain. I want to help him find his way home, I know he needs to do alot of work to get better. But its been a week and we are married, better or worse right? His last rehab was 2012.
I have been to 2 Alanon meetings this week. I changed our locks at home and set a few boundaries. He didn't like any if it of course.
Our addiction pastor who was our pre-marital counselor said I should give him time if I feel I can. He has gone off the rails and if I can give it some time before I make permanent decisions that's best.
My heart is broken, we have been together 15 years off and on, I have been the only solid person in his life. I'm still in shock.
The day began when we went to the gym to swim, talking about our dinner plans and said our goodbye before work. We met at home frequently for lunch and all appeared fine.
I knew he had rx's for his pain, sleeping meds for insomnia, he had begun drinking. He said it wasn't his vice and he could do it. This was going on for a year or more. He told me two weeks ago about how at his family reunion we attended this summer how his siblings gave him pot. He says he didn't use it (his vice) but he hadn't told me about it for over 3 months. Says he gave it away.
He also had morphine pills, etc. Said he only used them when he had to.
To our kids and friends and myself we were happy. Together almost all the time, best friends.
He said it's his inner stuff..alot if the other demons have also been showing themselves, behaviors, acting out.
He left on a Tuesday and returned the next night.
Had an emotional breakdown which was frightening to watch. Hysterical at times, panicked saying he is broken and lost. Feels he is repeating when his Mom left him as a child. She has told us many times how she regrets it and it was a mistake. He went to see an ex from his teen years (30 years ago) when he was using.
I am in so much pain. I want to help him find his way home, I know he needs to do alot of work to get better. But its been a week and we are married, better or worse right? His last rehab was 2012.
I have been to 2 Alanon meetings this week. I changed our locks at home and set a few boundaries. He didn't like any if it of course.
Our addiction pastor who was our pre-marital counselor said I should give him time if I feel I can. He has gone off the rails and if I can give it some time before I make permanent decisions that's best.
My heart is broken, we have been together 15 years off and on, I have been the only solid person in his life. I'm still in shock.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: California
Posts: 339
I'm so sorry. I can only imagine what you're feeling and going through at this time. However, I feel like you are taking the proper steps of setting boundaries for yourself and for him. In time he will find his rock bottom, and if he doesn't you need to do what is only best for YOU! Everything else will follow. I wish you the best of luck.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
I'm so terribly sorry for what you are going through. It sounds like there's more going on here than what you've been seeing the past few months.
You're doing the right things in getting help for yourself and setting boundaries best you can.
Hang in. As they say, more will be revealed.
Sending you a hug.
You're doing the right things in getting help for yourself and setting boundaries best you can.
Hang in. As they say, more will be revealed.
Sending you a hug.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
