Need to stay off the sauce
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Need to stay off the sauce
Hi everyone,
Feeling a bit beaten by this alcohol thing right now, I just can't seem to keep the motivation to stayed stopped.
2017 has been a pattern of me drinking between 3 - 6 beers every night, quite often half a bottle of wine as well, getting comfortably numb and then zoning out in front of the TV until I go to bed. Sometimes I do enjoy it, sometimes I don't - but I want more for myself & I know that drinking is robbing me of other experiences.
I have has heaps of day ones, sometimes I last a few weeks, and even a few months but inevitably I go back to drinking... put on weight, anxiety reappears, my self confidence slips and finally I get to the point of where I am now and am unable to look at myself in the mirror... this pattern sucks.
I also used to be addicted to opiates, amphetamines + benzos, which I've been away from for a while , so drinking is a very slippery slope for me and I'd like find some better footing in life.
I have my GF coming over later & she knows I want to stop drinking but doesn't know how much it's actually messing me up. I want to come clean and let her know I am an 'alcoholic' but worried she might distance herself / cut it off if I tell her the extent of my compulsion to drink ... fingers crossed she's cool about it.
Here's to day 1 & hopefully my last!!!
Peace.
Feeling a bit beaten by this alcohol thing right now, I just can't seem to keep the motivation to stayed stopped.
2017 has been a pattern of me drinking between 3 - 6 beers every night, quite often half a bottle of wine as well, getting comfortably numb and then zoning out in front of the TV until I go to bed. Sometimes I do enjoy it, sometimes I don't - but I want more for myself & I know that drinking is robbing me of other experiences.
I have has heaps of day ones, sometimes I last a few weeks, and even a few months but inevitably I go back to drinking... put on weight, anxiety reappears, my self confidence slips and finally I get to the point of where I am now and am unable to look at myself in the mirror... this pattern sucks.
I also used to be addicted to opiates, amphetamines + benzos, which I've been away from for a while , so drinking is a very slippery slope for me and I'd like find some better footing in life.
I have my GF coming over later & she knows I want to stop drinking but doesn't know how much it's actually messing me up. I want to come clean and let her know I am an 'alcoholic' but worried she might distance herself / cut it off if I tell her the extent of my compulsion to drink ... fingers crossed she's cool about it.
Here's to day 1 & hopefully my last!!!
Peace.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Good job coming here- and I'd agree it's important to talk to your gf.
More important, though, is as Dee said - getting ideas for a plan of action to stop - AND acting on them.
Most or all of us have found success when we have an active program to teach us how to live sober.
Best to you.
More important, though, is as Dee said - getting ideas for a plan of action to stop - AND acting on them.
Most or all of us have found success when we have an active program to teach us how to live sober.
Best to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Quite a tough first day urge-wise, I had to take an Antabuse tablet to stop myself from drinking the urges were so strong.
Dinner went well, my partner cooked & suprised me with a bottle of champagne (of all the nights!) which I pretended to have a sip of and then let her drink the rest, she was quite happy by the end of dinner! - one of those people who won't get drunk again for a few weeks though.
Have started an instagram account with motivational sobriety stuff and will reinstate my meditation practice tomorrow. Also want to start going to a few AA meetings, should be a nice arrow to my recovery quiver.
Looking forward to a good sleep tonight, sooo much better waking up without a hangover, looking forward to the early blessings of recovery.
Dinner went well, my partner cooked & suprised me with a bottle of champagne (of all the nights!) which I pretended to have a sip of and then let her drink the rest, she was quite happy by the end of dinner! - one of those people who won't get drunk again for a few weeks though.
Have started an instagram account with motivational sobriety stuff and will reinstate my meditation practice tomorrow. Also want to start going to a few AA meetings, should be a nice arrow to my recovery quiver.
Looking forward to a good sleep tonight, sooo much better waking up without a hangover, looking forward to the early blessings of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,439
Good to see you again gnarlyboots, welcome back! My drinking was similar in the end, a few pops every night and binges on the weekend. I don't miss it at all.
I would definitely let your partner know of your intentions asap. Gift bottles, alcohol centered dates, things like that can be a real issue and unnecessary burden. Congrats on you day 1!
I would definitely let your partner know of your intentions asap. Gift bottles, alcohol centered dates, things like that can be a real issue and unnecessary burden. Congrats on you day 1!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Welcome back GB 
I would agree with telling your gf you're stopping drinking and tell her not to bring alchol round in future. you don't need to go into lots of detail about why etc but pretending to drink and having it there in front of you is playing a very dangerous game imo.
I would agree with telling your gf you're stopping drinking and tell her not to bring alchol round in future. you don't need to go into lots of detail about why etc but pretending to drink and having it there in front of you is playing a very dangerous game imo.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Yo NMD, thanks and cool to see your sobriety date, you're coming up on one year! Congratulations!!
Hey Readyatlast, you're right it was a dangerous situation and I almost slipped up with less than 24hrs! It's the first time she's suprised me like that but I will be letting her know this week I am off the sauce.
Hey Readyatlast, you're right it was a dangerous situation and I almost slipped up with less than 24hrs! It's the first time she's suprised me like that but I will be letting her know this week I am off the sauce.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
I was hooked on benzos for a few yrs. Then when I quit, and what a hellish nightmare that was, u took up drinking. Trading in addiction for another so I know exactly how you feel. Like you I would have periods of sobriety, get comfortable, and then relapse. No fun.
Fast forward to today... Usually on Sundays I would drink myself into an oblivion watching football after a hard night, or sometimes all day event, of Saturday drinking. Monday rolls around and I am hating life. That was my life before. Today I woke up at 730 made my kids breakfast before school, went to the store, did some painting, all before 10 am. No regrets, no withdrawals, no sweats, no headaches. Life just feels good now.
You know what it is like being sober. Do you enjoy it? Getting bored is a part if becoming sober as now you actually have more time on your hands that previously you'd waste away. Getting a new hobby or activity was Paramount for me to keep occupied. Some suggestions are:
Read books, take a class at a community college, house repairs, car repairs, build a "fill in the blank", take a cooking class, volunteer...
You can do this.
Fast forward to today... Usually on Sundays I would drink myself into an oblivion watching football after a hard night, or sometimes all day event, of Saturday drinking. Monday rolls around and I am hating life. That was my life before. Today I woke up at 730 made my kids breakfast before school, went to the store, did some painting, all before 10 am. No regrets, no withdrawals, no sweats, no headaches. Life just feels good now.
You know what it is like being sober. Do you enjoy it? Getting bored is a part if becoming sober as now you actually have more time on your hands that previously you'd waste away. Getting a new hobby or activity was Paramount for me to keep occupied. Some suggestions are:
Read books, take a class at a community college, house repairs, car repairs, build a "fill in the blank", take a cooking class, volunteer...
You can do this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Day 4, boom chickaaa.
Hey NMD,
going OK thanks :-) Having some sweats and aches but I think it's just mild WD's. One year for you today, that's amazing!! I hope to be where you are in about 361 days.
Ahoy jryan,
yeah it's a crappy cycle in addiction, became such a stagnate place for me, definitely will not miss the hangovers, sweats and self-loathing! Sounds like you've really got it together now, how long did it take you to reach a point where you felt confident in your recovery?
Thanks for the suggestions, some solid ones in there. I will be looking to get my old hobbies up and firing again, that was actually one of my main motivations to quit drinking, as I was getting depressed about all the things booze had replaced. Hopefully I will end up surfing / climbing again soon, I also ride bikes but don't have anything in the garage to play with atm
Hey NMD,
going OK thanks :-) Having some sweats and aches but I think it's just mild WD's. One year for you today, that's amazing!! I hope to be where you are in about 361 days.
Ahoy jryan,
yeah it's a crappy cycle in addiction, became such a stagnate place for me, definitely will not miss the hangovers, sweats and self-loathing! Sounds like you've really got it together now, how long did it take you to reach a point where you felt confident in your recovery?
Thanks for the suggestions, some solid ones in there. I will be looking to get my old hobbies up and firing again, that was actually one of my main motivations to quit drinking, as I was getting depressed about all the things booze had replaced. Hopefully I will end up surfing / climbing again soon, I also ride bikes but don't have anything in the garage to play with atm
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
Yeah, hobbies are great😀. I remember reading on here a few weeks again that alcohol "runs things" when we are drinking. That thought has really stuck because it's so true for me. BTW glad to hear you're doing well GB!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
When was I confident? Like total confidence? I still waiver from time to time but the difference is I know how to tell myself no now. It took me a long taper off benzos and a few times to get sober from drinking but something just clicked. Like finally quitting smoking as well... It just clicked and off I went. I was ready and I was serious. I didn't make promises or vow this or that... I just quit. Once you get some good sober time under your belt it gets easier. I was aware when my AV was talking to me and I knew how to control it. You'll learn what works for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
G'day Stronger, thank you! Hobbies to replace to alcohol are the best sort of hobbies, I may go so far as say that healthy hobbies and alcoholism can not truly exist together for long.
Jryan
I hear you, I am looking forward to reaching some decent sober time, it's white knuckles for me atm. I have some Antabuse tablets, which I can pop if I am walking into a high risk situation but right now , if I am honest , i feel like I could walk into the bottle shop tomorrow and buy a 6 pack, it's a bit worrying.
Jryan
I hear you, I am looking forward to reaching some decent sober time, it's white knuckles for me atm. I have some Antabuse tablets, which I can pop if I am walking into a high risk situation but right now , if I am honest , i feel like I could walk into the bottle shop tomorrow and buy a 6 pack, it's a bit worrying.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: London
Posts: 67
Well done for reaching out. You mentioned that you took antabuse and then drank some alcohol by sipping champagne. I did something similar and thought the antabuse wouldn't stop me drinking. I then drank on antabuse and very nearly died. I was too ill to be able to pick up the phone to call the ambulance. I am never taking antabuse again. I now have a programme which has kept me sober for 11 weeks without it.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi gnarly, don't forget to replace some of the rituals of drinking alcohol with other drinks like tea, soda water, diet coke etc. It helps if you're in the habit of drinking after work.
Also found not letting myself get too hungry helped a lot, so snack more often than you used to.
I would leave work, go to a juice bar, walk an extra stop to the train and drink tea instead of wine when I got home. All these little steps help.
Also found not letting myself get too hungry helped a lot, so snack more often than you used to.
I would leave work, go to a juice bar, walk an extra stop to the train and drink tea instead of wine when I got home. All these little steps help.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by FeelingGreat 
Hi gnarly, don't forget to replace some of the rituals of drinking alcohol with other drinks like tea, soda water, diet coke etc. It helps if you're in the habit of drinking after work.
Also found not letting myself get too hungry helped a lot, so snack more often than you used to.
I would leave work, go to a juice bar, walk an extra stop to the train and drink tea instead of wine when I got home. All these little steps help.
Also found not letting myself get too hungry helped a lot, so snack more often than you used to.
I would leave work, go to a juice bar, walk an extra stop to the train and drink tea instead of wine when I got home. All these little steps help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 211
Hi Learning, sorry maybe I wasn't clear, I didn't actually drink on Antabuse, I just pretended to keep my partner happy. Sounds like you learned the hard way, glad you're OK.
Hi Charlie, thanks for that! I actually don;t feel alone here, this is a supportive place. I find when I stop drinking, I can almost immediately look at myself in the mirror again, it's quite a profound energetic shift, only really noticed it this time around.
Ahoy FeelingGreat, appreciate the tips, I have been drinking juices and water with fresh lemon, I also pour my non alcoholic drinks into wine glasses sometimes, it makes me feel like there's something sepcial about the drink , v.silly I know and everyone laughs but it works for me, sometimes I even forget it's not booze!
Hi Charlie, thanks for that! I actually don;t feel alone here, this is a supportive place. I find when I stop drinking, I can almost immediately look at myself in the mirror again, it's quite a profound energetic shift, only really noticed it this time around.
Ahoy FeelingGreat, appreciate the tips, I have been drinking juices and water with fresh lemon, I also pour my non alcoholic drinks into wine glasses sometimes, it makes me feel like there's something sepcial about the drink , v.silly I know and everyone laughs but it works for me, sometimes I even forget it's not booze!
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