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Attended my first event...

Old 10-06-2017, 08:25 PM
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Attended my first event...

I attended my first big event where alcohol was present. A bit risky this early, 24 days, but it was a huge fundraiser for special needs individuals and I was determined to attend, sober.

Almost everyone was drinking, there was so much booze flying out of the bar. I was pretty tempted. It was loud, very crowded, awkward and uncomfortable for me. I have social anxiety that I used to self medicate.

Anyways sorry for the ramble but I worked through it and stayed sober, only water.

No one cared what was in my glass. The only person fixated on it was me.

I think I need more sober time under my belt before I am in a situation like that again. It was pretty hard. Proud of myself though. Just kept telling myself common you want to see 30 days! You drink now and that goal is gone.

I hope everyone is hanging tough with me this Friday night!
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Old 10-06-2017, 09:03 PM
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I'm glad you got through but yeah - might be a bit soon. Watch out for increased AV ideas for a few days too

D
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Old 10-06-2017, 09:10 PM
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Mandy, some cheap advice. Don't test yourself. Best keep away from all events where there is alcohol. Avoid all triggers if you can. Alcohol is a cunning enemy. You are at your most vulnerable when you think you can control it.

Stay safe.....
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Old 10-07-2017, 12:22 AM
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Well done Mandy

As you say though, it maybe a bit early to go to these places and events. No need to test ourselves .I went out to lunch yesterday with non drinking friends in a pub/restaurant. Although I was fine in the restaurant and we all had water when I went to the bathroom it was through the bar and the thought of drinking did hit me.

congrats on 25 days
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Old 10-07-2017, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm glad you got through but yeah - might be a bit soon. Watch out for increased AV ideas for a few days too

D
^^Agree!

Good job - IME, and looking back I realize now how I instinctively created a VERY safe world for myself, and gradually expanded it....and I am glad I did. At 13 mo I went to my first party, and at 19 my first wedding. The first was smooth sailing, and the second surprised me at how agitated I was the whole weekend (it was away) - not by wanting to drink but by the insanely present focus on wine. I definitely had to employ my AA tools to sort through the emotions that came up that weekend (about three weeks ago).

Taking care of yourself, protecting your sobriety no matter what...most important. And you're right- it's us who usually focuses on the alcohol, not others- unless they have a problem too.

Stay close and keep going!
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Old 10-07-2017, 06:25 AM
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Well done, 30 days will be worth it.

I agree to be watchful of the emotions that will come up now - afterwards. Work through them in a journal or come here!

People who have had a few are difficult. My visits to these type events are usually very short.
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Old 10-07-2017, 12:09 PM
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Thanks everyone and I absolutely agree with you all, way too soon to be putting myself in such a situation. I'm grateful i made it through!! I did think about drinking, several times last night I almost gave in, so much beer and wine around me and they were totally my drinks of choice. Anyways, I not be putting myself in that situation again anytime soon it was far harder than I thought, I was very tense the whole time and stressed. I know that this would have been the kind of thing where in order to calm my nerves I would have drank way too much and been sloppy and felt horribly embarrassed for drinking so much.
I will def watch my AV, I can say at this time that the experience seemed to strengthen my resolve and only accentuate to me that I clearly do have a drinking problem. I'm grateful that I am sober today. I don't want to drink.
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