Giving it another go

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10-06-2017, 03:04 PM

# 1 (permalink)

hills

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Jul 2017

Posts: 102

Giving it another go

So I'm back after several months of heavy binge drinking...I had 31 days sober back in July/August. I was feeling so good and proud of myself but then I somehow convinced myself I was overreacting and that I'm not really an alcoholic. I'm ashamed and guilty for drinking again. Hungover and defeated today but hopeful that this can be my new day 1.

10-06-2017, 03:08 PM

# 2 (permalink)

Hevyn

Community Greeter

Join Date: Aug 2007

Location: Upstate New York

Posts: 51,564

Hi hills! Don't be ashamed. Be proud of yourself for admitting what happened & vowing to get back in control. Keep posting & reading here - you are never alone.

10-06-2017, 03:15 PM

# 3 (permalink)

Anna

Administrator

Join Date: Aug 2003

Location: Dancing in the Light

Posts: 61,504

Welcome back!

Alcoholism feeds on shame, so try to focus on your recovery and do whatever you have to do to stay sober.

10-06-2017, 06:05 PM

# 4 (permalink)

hills

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Jul 2017

Posts: 102

It's really nice to be back. I know my shame and low self-esteem trigger my binging. Unless I do something about the underlying issues I'm not sure I can stay sober.

10-06-2017, 06:17 PM

# 5 (permalink)

least

bona fido dog-lover

Join Date: Mar 2008

Location: SF Bay area, CA

Posts: 99,780

Welcome back!

When I was drinking, I was always ashamed of myself. Getting sober was a good way to get rid of the shame, and also helped build up my self esteem.

10-06-2017, 06:35 PM

# 6 (permalink)

Dee74

Administrator

Join Date: Apr 2007

Location: Australia

Posts: 211,442

Welcoem back Hills

Given any thought to what you might do differently this time?

D

10-06-2017, 07:20 PM

# 7 (permalink)

hills

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Jul 2017

Posts: 102

Hi Dee, Last time I tried AA but I really hated it. I'm committed to staying sober so I could possibly try a different meeting or meeting type. I think returning to therapy might also be helpful. Probably the toughest thing will be for me to truly accept that I can't ever have another drink again.

10-06-2017, 08:52 PM

# 8 (permalink)

dwtbd

quat

Join Date: Jul 2013

Location: terra (mostly)firma

Posts: 4,823

Quote:

Originally Posted by hills

...I'm committed to staying sober..
Probably the toughest thing will be for me to truly accept that I can't ever have another drink again.

You see the duality in those statements , yeah? Learning about AVRT helped me resolve that cognitive dissonance. Ending an addiction is about accepting the first statement and changing the second one to "I won't have another drink again , because I choose not to"
Great threads on AVRT/RR here on SR in the Secular Connections forum.
Wish you well and hope to see you around

10-07-2017, 06:09 AM

# 9 (permalink)

Zebra1275

Member

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 14,921

Unless I do something about the underlying issues I'm not sure I can stay sober.

Bingo!

There is more to getting and staying sober, then just avoiding booze by "white knuckling" it.

Working the steps of AA may help you.