can't trust him any more!

Old 10-04-2017, 10:08 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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can't trust him any more!

My husband is one of the most loving people on earth! He is battling with demons from the past. he had a problem for quite some time with his alcoholism. He had a wife that was a nightmare, He lost a son at 40. he is a very success man. He gave his children everything. He was married for 50 years and so unhappy. Now we stated a new life and everything was great! He has been diagnosed with Live cancer and I am doing everything in my power to help him get on the right track! But lately there has been thing behind my back hiding booze hiding phone calls to his daughter who thinks that he his just fine so she can collect at the end . He disappears
he hides boose and lies where he has been. Please help me understand!
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:40 PM
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Welcome to SR, Indoria. I'm glad you came here. I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's a tough situation- you can be honest and clear with him, offer him support but create boundaries. He won't quit unless he wants to quit, it's very hard to force someone to get sober against their will.
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Old 10-05-2017, 03:25 AM
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Welcome, Idoria,

I am sorry for what brings you here. Take some time when you can to read around the board. You will find a lot of support and shared wisdom here.

Addiction runs in my family like a thread that binds the generations, but I am not an addict/alcoholic. Just reading your thread, there are two things that stick out to me.

1) He may have been drinking for far longer than you realize--active alcoholics become quite skilled at hiding their drinking behavior so that they won't catch heck for it.

2) If you are learning about his ex-wife through him, then she may not have been the nightmare he portrays. Just someone who did the best she could living with an active alcoholic and finally couldn't take it any more. There are two sides to every story.

When you have some time, you may want to particularly read through the Friends and Family of Alcoholics section. You will find that your story is one that we have, sadly, heard many times before.
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