Acceptance
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Acceptance
Good Afternoon,
My name is DreamCatcher17 (for now) I am an alcoholic.
I have been in recovery, this time for 9 days. Whoop Whoop!
I was in AA back in 2013, I made it a whopping 9 months. That slip lasted until I was pregnant in November of 2015 until a month after birth. So, August of 2015. I had started drinking when I was 12, probably sooner I was given beer at family events, that may have been the starting point, but not the one I remember. I did my fair share of drugs my last 2 years of high school and into my early 20's until I decided meth was going to ruin my life. I turned once again to alcohol, its legal and socially acceptable, unless you get black out drunk and pee on your friends couch, write mean thing on their windows, try to sleep with people while in a relationship and not remember a damn thing about it.
I, like many, thought I could try the normal thing, keep the drinking under control, I mean I was a new mom, how could I not keep my drinking under control? Well, because I am an alcoholic, that is why.
I was able to for a while, about a year. Then I slipped into old habits.
I was what some would call a weekend warrior. I could go all week with out a drink and when that Friday or Saturday came, I would drink and black out. Sometimes it took a lot to black out while other times it took literally 4 beers. Hello, I am allergic to alcohol is what I should have been screaming to myself.
I have put a huge strain on my relationship, being a mother and being a good friend. Most importantly, I put a strain on myself. Mentally, physically, emotionally.
Last night, I was awaken by my drunk mother who is staying with us for the summer as she lives in FL. I ended up pouring out her booze, not for me, but for her. I come from a family of addicts, that is what we were accustom to, drinking, drugs, party...
My addiction party is ending.
I have finally accepted that I am the true definition of an alcoholic. Before, I wasn't so sure. I remember how I felt when I was sober. The confidence, go get 'em attitude, full of life and energy. I am working on getting that back.
I am breaking the cycle, my child will not grow up in a house full of drunks with naked people walking all about, as if that is normal. Or hitting the bottle when you had a stressful day at work and pushing down feelings you cant explain. OR the flip side, celebrating with booze, making sure the life of the party is you.
So, where do I begin. I asked myself.
I found this forum, this is the first I have ever looked up let a lone written in.
I understand going to AA is a part of recovery. I just have a very bad taste from all the last times I have gone. I may look into that. For now, I have the Big Book, 12 X 12, Daily reflections and now hopefully the support of you all.
Thank you for reading. I look forward to sharing more, listening more and seeing if I am able to help someone along the way.
-DreamCatcher17
My name is DreamCatcher17 (for now) I am an alcoholic.
I have been in recovery, this time for 9 days. Whoop Whoop!
I was in AA back in 2013, I made it a whopping 9 months. That slip lasted until I was pregnant in November of 2015 until a month after birth. So, August of 2015. I had started drinking when I was 12, probably sooner I was given beer at family events, that may have been the starting point, but not the one I remember. I did my fair share of drugs my last 2 years of high school and into my early 20's until I decided meth was going to ruin my life. I turned once again to alcohol, its legal and socially acceptable, unless you get black out drunk and pee on your friends couch, write mean thing on their windows, try to sleep with people while in a relationship and not remember a damn thing about it.
I, like many, thought I could try the normal thing, keep the drinking under control, I mean I was a new mom, how could I not keep my drinking under control? Well, because I am an alcoholic, that is why.
I was able to for a while, about a year. Then I slipped into old habits.
I was what some would call a weekend warrior. I could go all week with out a drink and when that Friday or Saturday came, I would drink and black out. Sometimes it took a lot to black out while other times it took literally 4 beers. Hello, I am allergic to alcohol is what I should have been screaming to myself.
I have put a huge strain on my relationship, being a mother and being a good friend. Most importantly, I put a strain on myself. Mentally, physically, emotionally.
Last night, I was awaken by my drunk mother who is staying with us for the summer as she lives in FL. I ended up pouring out her booze, not for me, but for her. I come from a family of addicts, that is what we were accustom to, drinking, drugs, party...
My addiction party is ending.
I have finally accepted that I am the true definition of an alcoholic. Before, I wasn't so sure. I remember how I felt when I was sober. The confidence, go get 'em attitude, full of life and energy. I am working on getting that back.
I am breaking the cycle, my child will not grow up in a house full of drunks with naked people walking all about, as if that is normal. Or hitting the bottle when you had a stressful day at work and pushing down feelings you cant explain. OR the flip side, celebrating with booze, making sure the life of the party is you.
So, where do I begin. I asked myself.
I found this forum, this is the first I have ever looked up let a lone written in.
I understand going to AA is a part of recovery. I just have a very bad taste from all the last times I have gone. I may look into that. For now, I have the Big Book, 12 X 12, Daily reflections and now hopefully the support of you all.
Thank you for reading. I look forward to sharing more, listening more and seeing if I am able to help someone along the way.
-DreamCatcher17
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,461
Welcome, and we have lots of ideas and suggestions for recovery programs:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Welcome, stick around and read around the forums.
Here is a link to the Class of October 2017, if you post in there it's a group of folks all trying to quit this month. Always room for one more!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ad-pt-1-a.html (Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 1)
9 days is awesome. Keep it going.
Here is a link to the Class of October 2017, if you post in there it's a group of folks all trying to quit this month. Always room for one more!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ad-pt-1-a.html (Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 1)
9 days is awesome. Keep it going.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by thomas11 
Welcome to SR. Acceptance is a very important part of my sobriety. I fought against it for the longest time, but when I accepted I can not drink alcohol like normal people, the pressure was lifted.
I'm glad to be here!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Once I was taught and handed the AA
program of recovery back in Aug. 1990,
I began using the steps incorporating them
in all areas of my life to remain sober for
27 yrs now.
It wasn't and still isn't just about putting
down the drink to help me remain sober
for a many one days at a time, but is also
about how to handle everyday life issues
that pop up that can trigger in healthy thoughts
or actions.
27 yrs sober and yes, ive come a long way
with many experiences, strengths and hopes
added to my life. However, just because I
have those all important recovery tools I
acquired yrs ago, they wont do me any good
today if I don't use them on a daily bases.
Life is always throwing me a curve ball,
always trying to trip me up, ruffle my feathers,
trying to bring me down, steal my joy and
so much more.
As an adult child of a sick mother, I am still
haunted and disturbed by the abuse she inflicted
upon me from a little child to an adult. Ive left
the abuse behind me but the affects of it still
want to play havoc with me in my mind. Thank
God I have my recovery program and Faith to
help me overcome many of those awful feelings
and allow me to remain sober and not reach for
poison that many yrs tried to rip me from this life.
So many things in life can trigger my emotions
and make me feel uncomfortable and that's not
healthy nor fun. With acceptance of what happened
in the past and not to blame myself for it has
to be a constant reminder for me and continue
to move forward in a positive healthy happy
manner.
Recovery belongs to me and there is nothing
before, during nor after it will force me to return
to the insanity that comes along with addiction.
With on going maintenance of my recovery
program each day then I can and will become
stronger inside and out and not remain a victim
of my past and will not define me.
program of recovery back in Aug. 1990,
I began using the steps incorporating them
in all areas of my life to remain sober for
27 yrs now.
It wasn't and still isn't just about putting
down the drink to help me remain sober
for a many one days at a time, but is also
about how to handle everyday life issues
that pop up that can trigger in healthy thoughts
or actions.
27 yrs sober and yes, ive come a long way
with many experiences, strengths and hopes
added to my life. However, just because I
have those all important recovery tools I
acquired yrs ago, they wont do me any good
today if I don't use them on a daily bases.
Life is always throwing me a curve ball,
always trying to trip me up, ruffle my feathers,
trying to bring me down, steal my joy and
so much more.
As an adult child of a sick mother, I am still
haunted and disturbed by the abuse she inflicted
upon me from a little child to an adult. Ive left
the abuse behind me but the affects of it still
want to play havoc with me in my mind. Thank
God I have my recovery program and Faith to
help me overcome many of those awful feelings
and allow me to remain sober and not reach for
poison that many yrs tried to rip me from this life.
So many things in life can trigger my emotions
and make me feel uncomfortable and that's not
healthy nor fun. With acceptance of what happened
in the past and not to blame myself for it has
to be a constant reminder for me and continue
to move forward in a positive healthy happy
manner.
Recovery belongs to me and there is nothing
before, during nor after it will force me to return
to the insanity that comes along with addiction.
With on going maintenance of my recovery
program each day then I can and will become
stronger inside and out and not remain a victim
of my past and will not define me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Silverback, there is no other way. Well, ok, I guess there is however that way leads to the loss of everything and probably some jail time. A drink isn't worth all of that mess, I have no time for that.
Keep on keeping on!!!
Keep on keeping on!!!
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