Depressed
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Depressed
Well, after 4 days of not drinking I gave into the cravings yesterday after work. And of course drank more than I should have. Feeling terribly depressed today, and have spent all day so far just laying in bed (which I NEVER do), I'm constantly trying to occupy my free time with something somewhat productive...my anxiety has been worse this past year or so and makes it hard for me to relax or sit still during daylight hours. But today I just saw no reason to leave bed.
I really wish I had chosen to do something else other than drink. It's closing in on a month since the breakup with my boyfriend, and I'm dealing with such a sense of sadness/loneliness. We only dated for several months, but it had been years since I had been in a relationship before that. I was ready, and at the beginning we connected so well that I thought this was IT. It felt so good to finally be dating someone I was really into, and it's weird and sad to be back in single-town again.
I've just been feeling crushed by the whole thing. I'm in my mid 30's and just can't seem to find the right match. I'd like to have a family and I worry that I'm running out of time. This weighs on me a lot. I know drinking over it isn't helpful in the least, however I'm still new to this and trying to figure out what to do when the cravings strike. I was able to distract myself several times before and even pour away the alcohol in the past, but this time I just didn't.
I really wish I had chosen to do something else other than drink. It's closing in on a month since the breakup with my boyfriend, and I'm dealing with such a sense of sadness/loneliness. We only dated for several months, but it had been years since I had been in a relationship before that. I was ready, and at the beginning we connected so well that I thought this was IT. It felt so good to finally be dating someone I was really into, and it's weird and sad to be back in single-town again.
I've just been feeling crushed by the whole thing. I'm in my mid 30's and just can't seem to find the right match. I'd like to have a family and I worry that I'm running out of time. This weighs on me a lot. I know drinking over it isn't helpful in the least, however I'm still new to this and trying to figure out what to do when the cravings strike. I was able to distract myself several times before and even pour away the alcohol in the past, but this time I just didn't.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by Computer 
I'm new here too. Just wanted to post and let you know someone is here reading your post. I don't have much advice but hopefully a member with more experience can chime in.
You are not alone.
You are not alone.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi Linners, sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I know how hard it is with relationships I was in my early 30s and wanted a family too. With hindsight I married quickly to a man who shared my interest in wine. It was rash, crazy and alcohol fuelled. It lasted 10 years and we had a family but with hindsight I wish I had quit drinking years ago and given myself the chance of making the right choices and having a decent sober relationship.
I promise you things will improve once you get sober. I had 3 years plus and met my now husband-that wouldn't have happened if I'd still been drinking.. i picked up again since then but that's another story
I have since quit again and already feel on the path back to a better life.
I promise you things will improve once you get sober. I had 3 years plus and met my now husband-that wouldn't have happened if I'd still been drinking.. i picked up again since then but that's another story
I have since quit again and already feel on the path back to a better life.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
Linner,
I am a multi-relapser, and have given in so many times. You are not alone!! This (drug of choice) takes away are ability to even reason with ourselves. I am on a very slippery slope as well. Sending you hugs and hope.
I am a multi-relapser, and have given in so many times. You are not alone!! This (drug of choice) takes away are ability to even reason with ourselves. I am on a very slippery slope as well. Sending you hugs and hope.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
Hi Linners, sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I know how hard it is with relationships I was in my early 30s and wanted a family too. With hindsight I married quickly to a man who shared my interest in wine. It was rash, crazy and alcohol fuelled. It lasted 10 years and we had a family but with hindsight I wish I had quit drinking years ago and given myself the chance of making the right choices and having a decent sober relationship.
I promise you things will improve once you get sober. I had 3 years plus and met my now husband-that wouldn't have happened if I'd still been drinking.. i picked up again since then but that's another story I have since quit again and already feel on the path back to a better life.
I promise you things will improve once you get sober. I had 3 years plus and met my now husband-that wouldn't have happened if I'd still been drinking.. i picked up again since then but that's another story
I have since quit again and already feel on the path back to a better life.I've been reading a ton on here, gotten myself some books on quitting and just trying to learn as much as possible. Didn't realize it would be so hard to make it past a few days without wanting to drink, and I'm ashamed that it's gotten that bad. I know stopping is really what needs to happen, especially for my mental health.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,716
Linners,
I hear you. I just drank again. I really hate myself for not being strong enough to not give in to my AV. I really didn't want to drink. Even hated the taste of the first sip but, once I started there was no stopping. I feel awful and look like heck. Wish this nightmare would end. I am here for you. We can do this together.♡
I hear you. I just drank again. I really hate myself for not being strong enough to not give in to my AV. I really didn't want to drink. Even hated the taste of the first sip but, once I started there was no stopping. I feel awful and look like heck. Wish this nightmare would end. I am here for you. We can do this together.♡
mentally and physically.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 35
Hi Linners,
That sucks sorry to hear about your breakup. Especially when you think "this is it".
I'd a similar situation in my thirties when I was with a girl in a foreign land. At the beginning I was non plussed and she seemed to be the one with the high interest. She was the one pursuing me when I was doing my own thing. Then I did a 360 and thought this is the one for me....
We were together for 3 years and I discovered she was seeing someone else during the whole of the last year. I drank of course as we were living together when I found out (i broke into her emails as I suspected something was up)
....obviously the drinking did not help as I plunged myself into the wine and vodka being drunk in work too.
I mad some crazy decisions while intoxicated or coming down off the effects during that period: like booking a ticket to Cuba to "get over her" and "show her" .......
Of course I only cut contact fully and got over the situation when I cut drinking fully....
My bloody pattern in my thirties: quit drinking for months on end (9 this year and 8 last year) then horribly binge. Repeat
That sucks sorry to hear about your breakup. Especially when you think "this is it".
I'd a similar situation in my thirties when I was with a girl in a foreign land. At the beginning I was non plussed and she seemed to be the one with the high interest. She was the one pursuing me when I was doing my own thing. Then I did a 360 and thought this is the one for me....
We were together for 3 years and I discovered she was seeing someone else during the whole of the last year. I drank of course as we were living together when I found out (i broke into her emails as I suspected something was up)
....obviously the drinking did not help as I plunged myself into the wine and vodka being drunk in work too.
I mad some crazy decisions while intoxicated or coming down off the effects during that period: like booking a ticket to Cuba to "get over her" and "show her" .......
Of course I only cut contact fully and got over the situation when I cut drinking fully....
My bloody pattern in my thirties: quit drinking for months on end (9 this year and 8 last year) then horribly binge. Repeat
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,716
I am just trying to get thru this hour by hour. Detoxing is not fun. I never want to feel this way again. I have told myself that too many times. This has got to end. It is not worth it. I am tired of all the stuff I put myself through. The sneaking, the lying, the sleepless nights. I don't like myself right now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by Divijata
Hi Linners,
That sucks sorry to hear about your breakup. Especially when you think "this is it".
I'd a similar situation in my thirties when I was with a girl in a foreign land. At the beginning I was non plussed and she seemed to be the one with the high interest. She was the one pursuing me when I was doing my own thing. Then I did a 360 and thought this is the one for me....
We were together for 3 years and I discovered she was seeing someone else during the whole of the last year. I drank of course as we were living together when I found out (i broke into her emails as I suspected something was up)
....obviously the drinking did not help as I plunged myself into the wine and vodka being drunk in work too.
I mad some crazy decisions while intoxicated or coming down off the effects during that period: like booking a ticket to Cuba to "get over her" and "show her" .......
Of course I only cut contact fully and got over the situation when I cut drinking fully....
My bloody pattern in my thirties: quit drinking for months on end (9 this year and 8 last year) then horribly binge. Repeat
That sucks sorry to hear about your breakup. Especially when you think "this is it".
I'd a similar situation in my thirties when I was with a girl in a foreign land. At the beginning I was non plussed and she seemed to be the one with the high interest. She was the one pursuing me when I was doing my own thing. Then I did a 360 and thought this is the one for me....
We were together for 3 years and I discovered she was seeing someone else during the whole of the last year. I drank of course as we were living together when I found out (i broke into her emails as I suspected something was up)
....obviously the drinking did not help as I plunged myself into the wine and vodka being drunk in work too.
I mad some crazy decisions while intoxicated or coming down off the effects during that period: like booking a ticket to Cuba to "get over her" and "show her" .......
Of course I only cut contact fully and got over the situation when I cut drinking fully....
My bloody pattern in my thirties: quit drinking for months on end (9 this year and 8 last year) then horribly binge. Repeat
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by ChloeRose63
I am just trying to get thru this hour by hour. Detoxing is not fun. I never want to feel this way again. I have told myself that too many times. This has got to end. It is not worth it. I am tired of all the stuff I put myself through. The sneaking, the lying, the sleepless nights. I don't like myself right now.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,716
Thanks. I am a sad camper right now. I just want to feel better and try to get some rest. My nerves are going crazy. Drinking lots of water. Feels like I have the flu. Really hate what I did. Glad to have SR to go to because I feel so alone. I have been hiding my drinking for so long. The energy it takes to keep it hidden is wearing me out.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Hi and welcome back Linners
Have you considered making a recovery plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
I'm sorry for your sadness, but the bottom line is life will always throw stuff at us.
We need to be ready for that with a plan we can devise - and implement.
D
Have you considered making a recovery plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
I'm sorry for your sadness, but the bottom line is life will always throw stuff at us.
We need to be ready for that with a plan we can devise - and implement.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by Linners820
Man, that sounds horrid. So painful to have to go thru that. He was the one with the high interest too, he actually pursued me for quite some time and when we finally did talk there was a great connection. He wanted a relationship, and I wanted to take it slow at first. But he won me over and no sooner did I let myself trust him and envision a future with him when he no longer seemed to care and it all fell apart.
I grew, I analysed......
But not while I was drinking. While I was drinking I wallowed. I went to Cuba and I guess I slept around thinking it would make me feel better......not so much.
I got over the situation when I stopped drinking. Funnily enough she sent me a letter six months later saying how much she loved me....
.....I held it for a bout a month or maybe more before burning it. Easy to do when I was sober. So easy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by Linners820
Man, that sounds horrid. So painful to have to go thru that. He was the one with the high interest too, he actually pursued me for quite some time and when we finally did talk there was a great connection. He wanted a relationship, and I wanted to take it slow at first. But he won me over and no sooner did I let myself trust him and envision a future with him when he no longer seemed to care and it all fell apart.
hell and I'm a man speaking. I grew up on "treat em mean and keep em keen" but you know what I mean......we are all human at the end of the day.........
...jesus, I tell you something, after that I "studied" relationships and feel I'm better prepared for it now
but fvck, time will get you through it. be patient
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
If you are ana alcoholic of my type, you could do worse than join AA.
I got sober young, and completely alone. There was no dating activity. No self respecting woman would have anything to do with me.
That changed as I continued with the AA way of life. After seven years sober I met the one. We fell in love and married, had a wonderful life together, and had to amazing children now grown up.
Ten years ago we parted. It was not by our choice, my lovely wife contracted a terminal illness. She suffered greatly in the last months of her life. I had nursed her through the chemo and the sickness for two years, looked after the family, and at the same time had some serious challenges in my business.
OF COURSE, I DID NOT DRINK. That is the power of God and AA. I had taken those steps and continued to work with others in a modest way. It never occurred to me to drink. Instead I did all the things a responsible normal adult would do.
The last time I looked, distraction was not a recognised treatment for alcoholism. I tried it a few times, getting into model making, trying to further my education, but I ended up drunk every time.
Nothing short of a concerted effort with the AA program as a way of life brought about the desired result. By that I don't mean living in the meetings. It was a case of some meetings and all the steps. It proved to be a reliable path to permanent recovery.
I got sober young, and completely alone. There was no dating activity. No self respecting woman would have anything to do with me.
That changed as I continued with the AA way of life. After seven years sober I met the one. We fell in love and married, had a wonderful life together, and had to amazing children now grown up.
Ten years ago we parted. It was not by our choice, my lovely wife contracted a terminal illness. She suffered greatly in the last months of her life. I had nursed her through the chemo and the sickness for two years, looked after the family, and at the same time had some serious challenges in my business.
OF COURSE, I DID NOT DRINK. That is the power of God and AA. I had taken those steps and continued to work with others in a modest way. It never occurred to me to drink. Instead I did all the things a responsible normal adult would do.
The last time I looked, distraction was not a recognised treatment for alcoholism. I tried it a few times, getting into model making, trying to further my education, but I ended up drunk every time.
Nothing short of a concerted effort with the AA program as a way of life brought about the desired result. By that I don't mean living in the meetings. It was a case of some meetings and all the steps. It proved to be a reliable path to permanent recovery.
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